I don't want to watch it, but is this done because they think it will keep the girls from getting raped? That's what I read one time.

oh my god...that's so heartbreaking, even if it's not totally unsurprising. This is just one more thing on a long list of things that are done to ourselves, our sisters, and our daughters, all in the name of protection.

I wonder if there will be any medical organizations offering reconstructive breast surgery to affected women. More than that though, what can we do to ensure that the children of Cameroon are getting adequate sexual education? (Although I feel really dumb for asking that, since we can't do that for the children in our own country.)

It is child abuse, plain and simple. Disgusting. The mother was even willing to show the interviewer, on camera, how it was done. Understand, the girl’s breasts had not grown back yet but the mother wanted to do it anyway as a twisted show and tell. Really disgusting.

Wow, how depressing that as some things get better other things get worse. J19, they do it because they fear their daughters will get pregnant. They talk about pregnancy as if it is something that just happens, which makes me thinks men must coerce women into sex or worse and/or mothers feel unable to talk to their daughters about how to prevent pregnancy. And I was interested in hearing what else the teacher would say about breast ironing.

Let's avoid this knee jerk reaction of blaming every damn backward custom on fear of men. If that were the reason, then men of Carmeroon are monsters.

As Noah was saying, you have to be careful not to judge other cultures when you hear about things like this. Were affordable contraception and comprehensive sex ed available, this would not be seen as necessary by parents. The mother wasn't sadistic or barbaric -- she believes she is helping her daughter out. Don't paint her as monstrous for that. What she, her daughter, and much of Africa need is education so they can find a better way to keep adolescent girls from getting pregnant without resorting to such dangerous and harmful tactics.

"Let's avoid this knee jerk reaction of blaming every damn backward custom on fear of men. If that were the reason, then men of Carmeroon are monsters."

Really, I don't know what to think. It's just the biggest question that is in my mind while watching is why do so many teenage girls become pregnant? I see that there is no sex ed but don't they know anything about sex and what leads to becoming pregnant? Does anyone know more about this problem because I really have no idea. This short documentary really gave more questions than answers.

Okay I didn't watch the whole video because...I just couldn't...but how exactly does having your breasts ironed so that they stay small prevent pregnancy? Are they saying it does this in that it makes your breasts ugly so no one will want to have sex with you? I'm very confused...

I just wish the emphasis was on educating boys and girls instead of on hiding/mutilating the girls' sexuality, not only in their culture, but in every culture. Educating kids that girls/women are not objects could go a long way. Of course, don't look to American culture to verify that claim . . . what with our padded bras for little girls so they can "be discreet."

"Okay I didn't watch the whole video because...I just couldn't...but how exactly does having your breasts ironed so that they stay small prevent pregnancy? Are they saying it does this in that it makes your breasts ugly so no one will want to have sex with you? I'm very confused..."

llevinso, the theory behind this is that developed breasts = sexual maturity. So, if they don't have developed breasts showing, they won't look ready for sex and men/boys will leave them alone.

"I see that there is no sex ed but don't they know anything about sex and what leads to becoming pregnant?"

I'm no exerpt on this either, but my guess isn't so much that they don't know "where babies come from" so to speak, but that they were never taught how to avoid pregnancy once becoming sexually active. Without contraception, that can obviously be a really tricky thing.

The belief is that if a girl doesn't look sexually mature or sexually appealing, then men won't want to have sex with her. That's how it would prevent pregnancy.

To put this into context, it should be noted that there's a very old, strong belief in "blaming the victim", so to speak. A woman in many parts of Africa doesn't have many sexual rights. Even with rampant HIV, it's common for a husband to simply refuse to use a condom, even if they both know he's sleeping around; as a matter of fact, he could go ahead and accuse his wife of being unfaithful because why else would she be asking him to use a condom?

Add onto this that the Bush administration has been sending aid to Africa to combat the HIV epidemic. However, it won't fund safer sex education.

Why dont they just castrate the men?

“The mother wasn't sadistic or barbaric -- she believes she is helping her daughter out.� – ladylinguist

Watch the video again. The mother had already ironed the daughter to the mother’s satisfaction. She says that in the future, if they grow back, she will do it again. So, she sees no need to do it at the time of filming as a protection for her daughter, and yet she attempts to iron the poor girl anyway just to show it to the camera. The mother is a very twisted person in my opinion.

"Let's avoid this knee jerk reaction of blaming every damn backward custom on fear of men."

I see it explicitly as to be blamed on the men in Camaroon. Mothers feel unable to stop forced sex on their daughters so they harm them as a desperate attempt to keep them safe from sabatoge by men. The mothers want their daughters to have more in life now that education and work have been granted to the women in Camaroon so they dont want rape and pregnancy that results from it screwing their daughters futures. How can this not be blamed on men? And BTW, YES, most men ARE "monsters" as you wrote in MOST countries (if not all). Did you check out the womens circumstances? Its quite sad. Men keep them there.

I'm suspicious about YOUR knee-jerk reaction. Is it to avoid associating men as having any resposnsibility on the practice?? Are you in denial or something, because the practice CLEARLY only exists BECAUSE of the men there.

So it is a victim-blaming kind of thing. That is so so sad. And yeah, Noah, men and patriarchy probably have a little bit to do with that. The men of Cameroon aren't monsters; they're men in a patriarchy.

“Why dont they just castrate the men?� – GopherII

Parents in that culture are not worried about their sons having children. It is the parents of pregnant girls who get stuck with the children, not boys’ parents.

"they're men in a patriarchy."

Men ARE patriarchy. Theyre not the victims here.

noname,
I see it as a feasible solution for both. Girls wouldnt have pregnancy and men wouldnt be able to force sex onto the women. If men cant stop themselves from raping then they shouldnt have a dick.

GopherII - This mother does not have the option of castrating every man in Cameroon. She does have the option of ironing her daughter's breasts.

It is fun to read your stuff, but I do want to confirm one thing: You are an antifeminist masquerading as a feminist to make them look bad, correct?

"As Noah was saying, you have to be careful not to judge other cultures when you hear about things like this."

I agree with this statement, but I don't think that's what Noah was saying.

you have to be careful not to judge other cultures when you hear about things like this.

We are not “judging other cultures,� we are condemning a practice within a culture that is physically and emotionally painful, damaging, and scarring to girls and women. And, everyone here is agrees that inappropriate or non-existent sex ed is part of the problem here. Offering ideas to stem the practice is important and needed, but so is the condemnation of the practice itself. You need to do both if you want to wipe it out.

Noah:

Let’s avoid the knee-jerk reaction that we women blame men for everything.
No one had said anything the poor menz until you brought it up.

I never said they were the victims, I said they weren't monsters. I think the belief that only monsters rape, for instance, is bad for women. Regular men (though not all of them) rape. Men who live in a patriarchy that gives them a skewed worldview and that gives them the power to take advantage of people.

That was to Gopher, as is this:
"If men cant stop themselves from raping then they shouldnt have a dick."
Rape myth. Men can stop themselves from raping. They choose to rape, when they do. I don't know if you meant what it sounded like to me, but I wanted that to be clear.

@Gopher: Huh? You can't be serious. There are far better (and humane) solutions to this problem than cutting off the men's ding-dongs. Or is the laugh on me because I actually believed that you were being serious when you weren't? Ha ha ha, very funny. Moving on...

I'm not understanding how putting scalding hot stones on the breasts keeps them from growing. It seems to me that all it would do is burn the skin so badly that when the breasts do grow in, there is severe pain when the burnt skin is stretched. OR is the point just to make them unattractive looking? Clearly I'm missing something.

"Mothers feel unable to stop forced sex on their daughters so they harm them as a desperate attempt to keep them safe from sabatoge by men."

...and, in this case, to demonstrate for the camera.

The thing about calling that mother a monster - it's possibly that her society left her no choice. It's possible that when she started out with the ironing, it agonized her to do this to her daughter. However, she felt that out of love she was protecting her daughter and ensuring her chances of finishing school, and that she would have to endure it. As time went on, she would either go mad from the guilt and pain, or she would become hardened to the fact that she was hurting and disfiguring her daughter.

In a universal view, this happens everywhere. Women, hoping to either save their daughters from the abuses of patriarchy or help them be successful while living in a patriarchal society, invariably damage one another. We've got stiletto heels, kiddie beauty pageants, boob implants and vulva rejuvenation. I'm not saying that breast ironing is OK in any social, context, but are we, as a society, in any position to judge?

"The thing about calling that mother a monster - it's possibly that her society left her no choice. It's possible that when she started out with the ironing, it agonized her to do this to her daughter. However, she felt that out of love she was protecting her daughter and ensuring her chances of finishing school, and that she would have to endure it. As time went on, she would either go mad from the guilt and pain, or she would become hardened to the fact that she was hurting and disfiguring her daughter."

In somecases it's also possible that, if it's been in a mother's family for generations, there's a hazing dynamic going on. You know, like when a fratboy who hazes just thinks "if I had to do X to join then I won't let the new guys join without doing X too."

"In a universal view, this happens everywhere. Women, hoping to either save their daughters from the abuses of patriarchy or help them be successful while living in a patriarchal society"

...or in some cases just hoping to imitate *their* mothers, instead of thinking about the effects of patriarchy on their daughters, when they decide how to behave towards their daughters...

Like the way adults of all genders sometimes do customs for the sake of tradition rather than for the same reasons the people who invented the customs had.

"We've got stiletto heels, kiddie beauty pageants, boob implants and vulva rejuvenation."

We've also got hazing in some sports teams and dorms as well as in some Greek letter organizations.

"I'm not saying that breast ironing is OK in any social, context, but are we, as a society, in any position to judge?"

As a society, we're in no position to judge because we're not a hive mind. As individuals we're all in positions to judge (as you judge when you don't say breast ironing is OK).

Meanwhile, would "if you don't want to re-iron your daughter's breasts then we'll find another volunteer to demonstrate" count as forcing her? Especially if she really wanted to be on TV?

I find it interesting how in situations where girls need to be protected from sex (female genital mutilation and now breast ironing) that fellow women are the ones doing it to each other and men are the ones who take no responsibility in their role in this.

Wow, you weren't kidding about graohic and upsetting.

Although I agree that it's a societal problem, seeing that mother made me sick. That's child abuse, pure and simple.

I'm wondering if anyone has any information on what sort of impact this would have on a woman's ability to breast feed any child she might have? (or an idea of where to direct me to find out)
Thanks

judgesnineteen,
I thought anyone who raped was a monster? I know men CHOOSE to rape. However, if you CHOOSE to rape you shouldnt have a penis.

noname,
I'm offended you would think that I'm an anti-feminist. A couple years ago while I was a sophomore in college I took an English class where our assignment was to write an essay on a social problem. I chose some crap one (about gun control - its not that challenging, ergo the crap connotation), but another woman chose rape and incest. She chose incest and rape because she had been raped by a close cousin. She became pregnant by him, and when she took it to court all the court system did was give him 9 months probation. She thought the best solution was castration. I agreed after listening to her, as you cant fix a sex offender. I garuantee if Camaroon enforced the castration law against any men who raped the women, the pregnancy issue would start to decrease because men would no longer be protected.

lotus,
Thats what I thought about the sociological situation. Its sad mothers have to live in these countries where they feel they have to harm their daughters to protect them.

Did anyone else catch the part where the teacher (?) was talking about how even when she walked with boys, even when they were just friends, the adults would think they were having sex already? I don't think this is necessarily a case of widespread, rampant rape.

The way I understood it was that the boys court (can't think of a better word to put here) girls and eventually they end up having consensual sex. Since there's no good sex education/contraception, the girls wind up pregnant, and then the girl's family has another mouth to feed. The mothers iron their daughters' breasts so that no boy will find the girl attractive and therefore the girl will never have a boyfriend with whom they could have sex, because they would be seen by the boys/men as too sexually immature to be dating.

I generally don't comment although I've been reading Feministing daily for over two years, but I felt like I had to respond to this statement, as it upset me so badly...
Judgesnineteen, I'm sorry, but regular men DON'T RAPE. Whether you feel they are monsters or not is up to you, but they are not regular. I work in the mental health field, and sexual assault on a woman (or a man) is NEVER "regular" behavior. If a man has raped a woman,there are serious mental issues occurring, and he needs to get help. Perhaps I'm reading too much into your statement, but saying regular men rape is downplaying the seriousness of the situation. I know this was OT, but just had to address it.

BTW, now I'm wondering about the other 3 in 4 girls in Cameroon and *their* families...

I wouldn't be surprised if the rates vary in different communities within the nation (like some culture having a 90% rate and another having a 1% rate instead of a 25% rate everywhere).

Meanwhile, what do the ones who don't iron say about breast ironing? I'm wondering if the "we can't judge!!!" reaction and the "they're all barbarians!!!" reaction are just as common among them as among Western foreigners, or if the balance of reactions is different.

"I find it interesting how in situations where girls need to be protected from sex (female genital mutilation and now breast ironing) that fellow women are the ones doing it to each other and men are the ones who take no responsibility in their role in this."

Don't forget marrying off girls before or at menarche to "protect" them from premarital pregnancy. That's not always done by just her female relatives...

Ever noticed how fathers who abuse in the name of protection don't get the "oh what a poor innocent victim" treatment from certain critics as much as mothers who abuse in the name of protection get?

Mina - it could be a lot like hazing, or that "Well my parents did this to me, and I turned out OK" mentality. (and yes, I'm a very judgmental person! I won't deny it :D )

WickedMistress - YES. They've sort of been freed of all accountability. It's very codependent that because men don't have to bear the consequences of their actions, women must do what they can to take it up.

" I recalled something Dr. Mukwege told us – that the only words for “vagina� in Kiswahili are vulgar ones; that when he opened the hospital in the late ‘90s, women and girls who arrived there could not describe what had happened to them without literally adding insult to injury."

http://www.aids-freeworld.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=120&Itemid=155&limit=1&limitstart=6

If Congo is any correlative to Cameroon (and it could be), then we need to seriously think about what it means to be a woman in this nation's culture before we try to condemn the mother in *any* way.

I understand that we shouldn't always blame the individuals (i.e. the mothers) that do this, but the society that created conditions that allow for this to happen... but it is terrible that mothers could do that to their own children.

Like everyone's been saying, this is victim blaming... it is somehow blaming women.. and forcing the women to change/be changed in order to prevent sex/pregnancy/etc.... instead of providing sex ed to all children, and encouraging dialogue between parents and their children about the right time to have sex, and safe sex... this practice is suggesting that only women are responsible for preventing these things... what about the men?

When watching this video, at first i thought that the mother was horrible for doing that to her daughter, but then i see that it's not the mother's fault that their society has taught them that this is, in a sense, an effective form of birth control. That is one sad society that needs a lot more sex education to stop the harmful acts that they resort to.

When watching this video, at first i thought that the mother was horrible for doing that to her daughter, but then i see that it's not the mother's fault that their society has taught them that this is, in a sense, an effective form of birth control. That is one sad society that needs a lot more sex education to stop the harmful acts that they feel they are forced to resort to.

"this practice is suggesting that only women are responsible for preventing these things... what about the men?"

Exactly. What about the men who prey on girls?

Also, what about the fathers? How many of the victims' fathers approve of breast ironing? How many disapprove?

I'm reminded a bit of the article "Kenyan Girl Rails Against Her Circumcision" by Leela Jacinto, March 12, 2003, at http://abcnews.go.com/International/Story?id=79133&page=3

"...In Fouzia's case, her father — an Eldoret businessman — was opposed to having his daughters circumcised. It was only while he was away on a business trip that her mother called in the local circumciser and had Fouzia and her younger sister Fardhosa circumcised..."

Likewise, maybe a Cameroonian counterpart of Fouzia suffered breast ironing despite having a supportive father because her mother waited until her father wasn't looking and her father couldn't supervise enough?

"I wonder if there will be any medical organizations offering reconstructive breast surgery to affected women."

Umm... well I can say that the woman in the video has as much or more breast tissue than I do...

How would they determine how the "reconstructive surgery" should end up?

"I wonder if there will be any medical organizations offering reconstructive breast surgery to affected women."

Umm... well I can say that the woman in the video has as much or more breast tissue than I do...

How would they determine how the "reconstructive surgery" should end up?"

I don't think we're talking size here; i'm pretty sure reconstruction would be to remove any damaged / scarred tissue and make the breasts look more 'normal'.

I think that this video is so sad and it really pulled on my heart strings. I guess I have been naive in the past in thinking that these kinds of things didn't happen anymore, things like breast ironing and genital mutilation. I totally agree with what people in the video said about the fact that education would be a much more beneficial, less painful, and more normal way to teach young women about protecting themselves from getting pregnant and about not letting men take advantage of them. I think that education is a very powerful tool and I think that even in situations as awful as this one, education could serve as a great tool to let women know that there are options and that there are always things that they can do to prevent this kind of treatment in the future.

I wonder how this affects breast feeding.

The mother specifically states that if she were to have a child, she would have to take care of it... but with the abscesses, tissue damage, and malformation of the breast, I wonder if the glands that produce milk, and the nipple itself aren't damaged.

I have to say that watching this made my breasts hurt.

The stats on rape show that the ones most likely to rape you are the ones youve had contact with (such as male friends), so actually regular guys DO rape. However, by no means does this mean its acceptable status quo behavior, but simply that its reflective on men, and the society we (as Americans, and the world)live in.

i guess one good thing is that in the beginning, where they show the woman talking to the classroom of children... there are both boys and girls in the classroom. instead of just educating girls on how not to get themselves pregnant, or why this practice is bad, they're educating boys as well.

There are so many things wrong with this, it's difficult to tell where to begin. In addition to what should be obvious, that it is those who rape and sexualize girls that are responsible for this, does anyone else believe that ironing a girl's breasts for two months, then whenever they show sign of development, is not sexual assault or sexually traumatizing in itself (even without the photos and descriptions of lasting physical damage and chronic pain). Sexually abusing one's daughters in order to allegedly avoid attracting men or rape. I wonder how many of the people recognize this irony. (FGM also comes to mind.) One assumes that most of the women "attract" the attention of men and get married later, anyway. If they believe women's breasts "attract" attention of rapists, how is this any better?

Also, why does no one point out the sexist comments of the male commentator? Girls can get pregnant at any time? NOBODY wants their teen GIRL pregnant? Really? I don't want my nine year old son to get his future girlfriends pregnant. How about those who may choose to marry while fairly young? How about the men and boys who rape or impregnate?

Posters say mothers are responsible for the actual act of breast ironing. I heard the word "parents" not "mothers" used by both the director of the women's program and the sexist male commentator. I don't know, just saying.

Also, since I knew what the subject matter was going in, the first thing that grabbed me was why is everyone speaking and writing in English? What's wrong with their own language (not French, either) even amongst themselves?

A male,

I don't know about Cameroon in particular, but I know that many African countries continue to use primarily their "colonial" language, b/c it is a unified language that almost everyone in the country can understand. Most African countries traditionally contained many peoples with many, many different languages, but since colonialism they have had need to maintain themselves as a unified political unit...

Also, English may be the first language of some of the people in the video. They're just speaking a "pidgin" English.

keric125, I'm just relaying information I've read when researching rape. Perhaps I misunderstood what I've read or was unclear; what I meant was that the people who rape are not necessarily "monsters" who you can pick out in a crowd as crazy people. That they're not all sociopaths because there are too many rapists for that to be the case. That some of the regular guys you know may be rapists. I also think that they can be fixed, in response to Gopher. From what I've read, pedophilia apparently can't be, but I have gathered that other types of rape are caused by anger, frustration, bitterness towards women, often in people with poor social skills, in the context of a patriarchy that teaches them a lot of screwed up things about sex and women. Or, by frat boys who don't get that passed out drunk means no consent. I don't know if these are the kinds of mental disturbances you were talking about, and I don't know if I've been misinformed, but I have no intention of downplaying rape and I just want to avoid the idea that you can always see a rapist coming.

Oh, also - I never meant to, but may have accidentally, implied that whatever I was talking about was the ONLY way rape happens. I do think there are rapists who are sociopaths and all that. I just don't think that's the only way it happens.

We've got stiletto heels, kiddie beauty pageants, boob implants and vulva rejuvenation. I'm not saying that breast ironing is OK in any social, context, but are we, as a society, in any position to judge?

I'm really not sure where this idea that one should never judge others came from. We have to judge people in life. There is not getting around it. For our own personal safety we often must make judgements.

Breast implants and vaginal rejuvination are not performed on children and are not a right of passage any of us must take to be a part of society. Stilettos are worn by choice and nobody wears them all the time. Kiddie beauty pageants do not permanently alter the body through a torturous procedure and are not something the majority of society takes part in.

I really think you're comparing a mountain to mole hills here.

Breast ironing isn't supposed to be some kind of dumb rite of passage. It's harder to fault them if they genuinely think they're doing their daughters a favor. Although, this has got to be one of the worst methods of "birth control" that I've seen.

Everybody, everywhere thinks that they have good reasons to do what they do. I'm not impressed by that. If this culture was really concerned about preventing early pregnancy, they'd be beating the penises of pubescent boys. They're not. This is one more example of women being made to take painful responsibility for everybody's sexual behavior.

Plus, can we just add, it won't work. You can get pregnant whether or not your breasts are well-developed.

GopherII – I didn’t mean to offend you. I understood your original comment to mean that all the men of Cameroon should be castrated so that none could rape. Hopefully you can see why I wanted to confirm if you were serious. I had actually found myself questioning your intentions even before this due to other strange posts (the pregnant mother held in custody thread immediately comes to mind). However, if you say you are sincere, I will try to treat you as such until (unless) I find out different.

I would also point out that the mother seems to be worried as much about consensual sex between her daughter and her like aged friends (or as consensual as sex can be between two nine year olds) than rape.

“If this culture was really concerned about preventing early pregnancy, they'd be beating the penises of pubescent boys. They're not. This is one more example of women being made to take painful responsibility for everybody's sexual behavior.� – EG

These are individuals. They are not a hive mind. Each parent who has a daughter is worried about her getting pregnant because they would have to take care of the baby. Parents of sons are not as worried because they do not have to take responsibility for the baby. Since each parent knows they cannot possibly go out and beat the penises of every boy in their village/town/city/country, they instead concentrate on ways to make their daughters less attractive to those same boys. It isn’t fair, and the daughters are in effect being held responsible for everyone’s sexual behavior, but to pretend that there isn’t a practical reason for the focus on daughters would be disingenuous.

A Male,

"Also, why does no one point out the sexist comments of the male commentator?"

I was wondering the same thing as to why Noah would write this:

"Let's avoid this knee jerk reaction of blaming every damn backward custom on fear of men. If that were the reason, then men of Carmeroon are monsters"

which is highly ignorant because most men in the world can be classified as monsters (think Congo, Afghanistan, Middle East, everywhere). How can it not be fear of what men are gong to do to their daughters, I think the video was quite explicit about that.

“If this culture was really concerned about preventing early pregnancy, they'd be beating the penises of pubescent boys. They're not. This is one more example of women being made to take painful responsibility for everybody's sexual behavior.� – EG

EG,
Thats what I thought. I think they dont stop to think how irrational (even to prevent pregnancy and rape) it is because they dont question male privilege to learn that it has to do with some fucked up ideas men force onto women. Rape is about force and thinking you have the right over someones body. So how does ironing their breasts even stop that? Males would then learn to simply rape them anyways. Its not about attraction, or aesthetic. If they wanted to stop this they would look to the males, not the females. I fully agree, this is just another way of torturing girls for the tortuous misogynistic male privilege to remain intact in Camaroon.

Yes, this is torture, I don't care what culture it's from. And these folks have been colonized so many times, it's hard to know where this stuff comes from.

For example, imagine countries where various Christian missionaries once came and forced local women to cover up in the name of modesty.

Flash forward to 2008 and you will see beaches in Africa with scorching white sand with practically naked European women sunbathers alongside local African women who are almost completely covered up.

Just a little perspective for that part of the world.

Also check out the article "Cameroon girls battle 'breast ironing'" by Randy Joe Sa'ah, BBC News, Yaounde, at http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/5107360.stm

"...Another woman from Mamfe in south-west Cameroon told me she ironed her own breasts as a girl so that she would not be forced into early marriage as is the practice in her village.

"'I wanted to go to school like other girls who had no breasts,' Emilia said...

"...Many mothers have no regrets about ironing their daughter's breasts.

"'Breast ironing is not a new thing. I am happy I protected my daughter. I could not stand the thought of boys spoiling her with sex before she completed school,' one woman explained.

"'Unfortunately, television is encouraging all sorts of sexual immorality in our children.'...

"...With the help of sponsors, a group of teenage girls called the Association of Aunties has produced a television campaign to expose the problems of breast ironing...

"...The victims do have protection under the law, as long as the matter is reported within a few months, lawyer Buba Ndefiembu says.

"If a medical doctor determines that damage has been caused to the breasts, then the person responsible can go to jail for up to three years..."

I was referring to the sexist comments of the man interviewed in the video clip. He blames girls for pregnancy, and parents' anxiety.

"Parents of sons are not as worried because they do not have to take responsibility for the baby."

Bullshit. I have a boy and a girl. I am fairly confident I can assist my daughter in pregnancy or childrearing in the future, if necessary. There is however, no theoretical limit to how many girls my son can impregnate. Perhaps you have not heard of child support, if you think the young father or parents of a young father are not legally or morally responsible for children, which is why I brought up only my son on this thread. It would also be insulting to the women to demand paternity tests. I wouldn't wait for a court order, to demand my son step up. It may not be a part of your culture's tradition to "take responsibility" for a grown son sowing his wild oats, but it is a part of mine (Hawaii, Asian). My mother tried to raise her sons with a sense of responsibility, and I am trying to raise my children with one as well.

Don't be dense, A male. His statement clearly says, "do not," as opposed to "should not," which is how you're apparently reading it. Or can you authoritatively contradict his claim about the society he was making a film about?

"I was referring to the sexist comments of the man interviewed in the video clip. He blames girls for pregnancy, and parents' anxiety."

A male,
But surely you find Noahs comments just as offensive?

"Parents of sons are not as worried because they do not have to take responsibility for the baby."

I dont see how that comment is wrong. In these kinds of cultures where misogyny is openly tolerated the kids are just tossed onto the girls family, or possibly orphaned. I'm also a bit weary of the whole 'step up' and take responsibility act of men. Its not some elaborate act you can display to the world for back pats. Would you want your rapist sticking around claiming to have rights with your kid in a country that favors the male? I wouldnt.

this is incredibly upsetting and sad. why don't they burn the penises of child molesters instead? this inequity sucks.

"Don't be dense, A male. His statement clearly says, "do not," as opposed to "should not," which is how you're apparently reading it. Or can you authoritatively contradict his claim about the society he was making a film about?

I am referring to noname's comment of April 17, 2008 10:37 a.m. The man, who appears about the 4:00 mark, does not make that claim.

Is noname (or even the interviewed man) the claimed maker of the documentary? Can you "authoritatively contradict" the claim that it is largely men, not women, who pay child support?

"I'm also a bit weary of the whole 'step up' and take responsibility act of men."

Why do you call fulfilling a legal and moral responsibility an act?

Listen.
Plain and simple.
If we, women, want respect and equal treatment, we must act with class and style. I refuse to lower myself to the standards of others in order to win respect. I will win respect, and I will win it my way.
I will rage against the dying of the light.

Suggesting that the only way to get revenge on rapists or sexual offenders is to "cut off their penises" disgusts me.
As a survivor of rape, I understand the urge to kill and physically hurt the attacker after the fact for trying to ruin your life.

The best revenge is to show that person that nothing they do will ever stop your success.
I have proven through my success that although my rapist thought he could destroy me, he was wrong.
I am stronger because I have lived through the fire.
At this point in time, I won't lie, I would applaud at his funeral. I would laugh in the face of his pain.
However, I will not be the one to cause it. That's what he did to me - cause pain - so I would only be lowering myself to his standard.
Like I said, I will win this war my own way.