I am sorry to hear that you got no support from either the police or your landlord. That is shameful!

I hope that you are feeling better now and much safer in your new apartment!

Samhita, I'm so sorry that you've had to go through this -- but glad to hear that you have friends and resources to turn to. I'm also glad to hear that you've found a place to live where you can feel safe.

Samhita, I'm so sorry that you've had to go through this -- but glad to hear that you have friends and resources to turn to. I'm also glad to hear that you've found a place to live where you can feel safe.

That's terrifying. I'm so sorry you had to go through that without the proper support from the authorities. What kinds of things do you think people like myself could do to help address this issue?

Wow.

That was not the first thing I expected.

Good to know you're safe.

Well, as the entire USA changes, it may well become ever more clear that the Police are NOT "your friend".

You were victimized by a strange, sick man. If you were a man, it might not have happened. It seems this stuff happens to women a heck of a lot more than men -- EXCEPT, if you are lesbian, gay, or trans -- then, in many parts of the country, what happened to you is not that far from "normal".

How would that affect anyone if that were a daily part of life?

That’s intensely messed-up. I’ll echo the above sentiments of gladness that you have found a safe place.

What a harsh reminder that there is so much work needed to get our societies to a healthy state.

Wow, Samhita, so sorry to hear that you had to go through that.

I've actually been going through a similar situation, and as a result I have become totally paranoid. I had the exact same problems with the police and local mental health services being totally useless.

I'm glad that you could get out of there ASAP, though.

I had a similar incident in the building I lived in last year. Only the mental ill man was actively trying to break down the door to my apartment while threatening to kill me (because I was with the CIA and implanting things in his brain, apparently). In my case the police did arrest him (although since I live in a poor area it took them 15 minutes to travel 10 blocks), but he was back in the building by the end of the week.
He only got evicted because he had ruined my door and trashed his own apartment, not because of what he did to me (and, I was told, other tenants as well). I was lucky that my boyfriend was over while it happened so I wasn't totally alone, and he had the good sense to record the whole thing on his camera in case we needed evidence later.
It's easily the scariest thing that has ever happened to me, and had he gotten through my door I have no doubt he would have tried to kill me.

But I'm glad to hear you made it out okay.
Sadly, for me it's been something that never really goes away. Even now that I live in a house with all students that I know, every so often if someone makes a loud noise I have a moment of panic thinking that it's him again.

Hey Samhita-

I am so sorry to hear about that! It sounds like a very tough situation and really shows how messed up the system is. His irrational shouldn't have overruled your right to feel safe in your own home. Anyway, I'm glad that you found a new place.

I don't know what new-fangled civil commitment laws you have in Cali, but (having worked in a state hospital) it definitely takes a bit less to at least get an emergency mental health detention done in Texas.

I think there should be some next of kin/significant person information on a lease agreement, if there already isn't one. The landlord should have called a significant person in this tenant's life to take them to their therapist, psychiatrist, or hospital. The police probably have justification to do that anyway. They don't have to arrest him, but they could have at least tried to convince him to see a professional to help him.

This is really quite awful and, as I think Samhita has conveyed well, really sad in terms of the larger social connotations for both parties involved.

I think what puzzles me the most in situations like this is, what would be an ideal outcome? We all know about the dearth of mental health-related social services available in this country (more mentally ill people are in prison than in hospitals in the U.S.)-- so given that there really was not any place for him to go (besides you know, quite possibly prison ultimately) should he have been evicted? And if not evicted, then what to do to ensure the safety of both parties?

I've been thinking about issues of anti-lgbt violence (esp in light of the bias-driven murders of late), but it obvs applies equally to violence against nontrans women... I'm trans, and particularly given that my community includes queer, gender nonconforming, and transgendered people who are not white, the police are often simply not an option when safety is concerned. (As another poster already pointed out, the cops are def NOT always your friend.)

But then what? What kinds of alternative, community-oriented avenues can one pursue to deal with threats of violence like that (especially when we recognize that the violence itself is also socially produced and the perpetrators not easily identifiable as an enemy). Or is just packing up and moving really the best possible outcome (but as Samhita also noted, that's not an option for for everyone)?

Who knows? IDK!

Jesus H. I'm glad you're safe. I knew that your neighbor was mentally ill, but that's just wow.

I know we've told you privately, but I want to tell you publicly, too: We're SO relieved that you're safe, and so happy to have you back!

Wow, thank you for sharing your story, truly. Yes it is wonderful you have the resources and people to turn to.

Your home should be your refuge from the world not a continuation of the battle ground out there. I have been creating my space by making it safe. Because it only became safe very recently in my life. It was always a battleground since I was a child. Everyday I am thankful that I have this place.

My hope for you is to create your safe place and refuge in this world.

wow. that's pretty scary. i'm glad you are safe now! it's disappointing that the land'lord' didn't call the cops immediately. i'm glad you called the police, even if there wasn't much they could do. at least that complaint is logged now and he's on the radar. hopefully, this will help the next person he harasses.

A friend of mine lives in a building where a tenant has set several fires, and has sprayed pepper spray in the halls just before doing so, so there is no way these are accidents.

However, they have no real proof, so the guy is still there, and on the average of once every couple of weeks the entire building is awakened in the middle of the night by the fire alarm.

glad you are safe now! it's too bad that your land'lord' didn't call the police immediately, but i'm glad you did. hopefully, this complaint will be logged and it will help the next person he harasses.

Sorry, Samhita. I'm so glad you're in a better place now! That is truly awful.

You bring up an interesting point in this post, albeit indirectly -- the usefulness (or lack thereof) of restraining orders. It's interesting, because restraining orders are so often joked about in daily life, movies, and television shows, but I have never heard of anyone with a legitimate concern who was helped by a restraining order in real life. Perhaps talking about them so much keeps up the illusion that the law is actually fair and protective, while in fact the opposite is true.

Samhita, I'm so sorry for what you have been through. That's a whole lot of fear and misery to have to deal with.

*speechless*

well, almost. Samitha, I am happy for you that you are safe again!
There are some crazy people out there...
Good thing to know, that you have people to turn to and to talk to!

I had a mentally challenged neigbour myself the other day. He was of this crazy but harmless sort of crazy. But one day he obviously skipped on his mediaction. He ran riot in our hall, thowing his furniture against walls. He ended up jumping out of the window in commiting suicide. Well, he was so out of his mind, that he did not notice that he jumped out of the raised ground floor.
They had him and his broken arm brought to an asylum where he now lives happily ever after...

Again: Samitha, good to know you are safe!

Wow, that's very scary. I'm glad you're safe and in a new place, Samhita!

Schizophrenics can be so much fun.

I echo the apologies listed here. This scenario highlights so much of what is wrong with mental health services (or lack thereof) in this country. I worked with people who have mental retardation and/or other developmental disabilities for five years- many of them were dually diagnosed with one or more mental health disorders as well. I got to experience firsthand the police's complete unwillingness to help you.

Many of the clients I worked with were aggressive to me and my staff. The police would usually not come out at all, and if they did they would not do anything. In fact, they refused to transport anyone who has MR/DD and is mentally ill- not even to the mental health crisis center. When clients attacked us, we were on our own- and not allowed to use any physical methods of defending ourselves or leave the clients unsupervised, under threat of prosecution. So in an escalated situation you were essentially expected to isolate yourself in sight or hearing distance of the client, and call someone at the agency to come and hopefully help you to diffuse the situation.

I agree that prison is not the appropriate place for persons who are mentally ill. That said, being out on the street threatening to hurt people is not the appropriate place either. I am all for people being allowed to remain in the community (group homes and institutions should be a last resort) however there should be adequate services and staff support- currently there is little to no staff support for persons who are mentally ill. Even for those who have MR/DD, staff are stretched too thin, underpaid and not adequately trained to work with clients who are aggressive.

Thanks, President Regan for closing all the mental hospitals and not providing funding for community services...your legacy lives on!

It is definitely a good thing that you had people who could support you and that you are safe Samhita. It's sad that that's what you had to resort to in order to be safe, though.

talknormal, that's a really good question. It reminds me of the "queer patrol" that existed (exists?) in the "gay" district of Seattle. Basically, volunteers would get training on how to deal with hateful violence and then patrol the streets making sure they were safe; a lot of the volunteers were LGB or T themselves so they wouldn't look the other way like cops often do, plus they were part of the community already so they had a much better idea of where they might be needed than some cops from the suburbs. Someone told me the story once of how the group was created and basically it was because it was a pretty bad area several decades ago, so even though it was one of the few places in the cities where LGBT people could find places to live, they still had to worry about violence on the streets, so they created the Queer Patrol to make it safer. Wish I could tell you more than that (like how they formed the group, how the volunteers are trained, etc.) but I can't seem to find a decent link to information on it.

What a scary situation. Glad you're out of it.

I don't buy that the landlord can't evict the guy. Threatening and stalking other tenants should be more than enough to have the guy thrown out. The landlord is lazy. Having the guy out on the street isn't a great option either, but at least it would be more difficult to stalk and threaten people in their own homes.

You should post your situation to some bad neighbor sites. Prospective tenants have a right to know what they're getting into, the landlord deserves to be punished for not helping you and the other female tenants, and the landlord needs to be forced to do something, hopefully by having units sit empty for months.

I'd also like to add that this isn't just a matter of a lack of funds for mental health services. Reagan and other conservatives bear much of the blame for the mentally ill stalking our streets, but so do civil libertarians. As it stands, the state cannot forcibly commit or medicate someone who refuses treatment unless or until that person hurts someone else, nevermind that mentally ill people tend to refuse treatment because they're mentally ill, i.e. their mental illness makes it impossible for them to think rationally.

Good to read that all is well and that you're safe :-)

@ waxghost, there's a pretty righteous article on gay safe street patrols in this past winter issue of radical history review, if you're into that kind of thing (personally i have a very warm place in my heart for militant community efforts like that but the piece there gives a pretty interesting, more complicated history).

Samhita-
Thanks so much for sharing. I'm glad you're safe, and hearing you and other people talk about the lingering effects of this sort of thing on their lives is really helpful for me - I had a series of things happen, each was not as bad as that, but because of things that happened before I reacted more than someone else might have. So hearing people say that they're still effected by these things makes me feel a bit better (although that sounds odd).
One thing I think we should take away from this is that if anyone accuses you of spying on them/installing surveillance equiptment, it's time to start making arrangements for a place to stay on short notice, installing further locks/testing existing ones in your apartment, and arming yourself. (I'm not saying run out and get a gun, and you have to check your state laws - some states don't allow mace, etc.) My point is, anyone who thinks you are spying on them is dangerous, and is absolutely NOT 'harmless'.
I'm not very web savvy, but something I'd love to do is be involved in making a website for women who are living on their own (I lived by myself for 3 years). Basically, create a resource for information about our rights, and where to go for help. I had issues with the landlord giving real estate agents the key to my apt without giving me any notice - for the last month I lived there, I was afraid to take a shower during the day because I might not hear them knocking on the door, and they would use the key to get in. Long story short. Anyhow, I found out that the mayor of Boston has a hotline for tenants rights, and I was able to speak to someone who told me exactly what my rights were. After that, I felt much better, because I knew I had the right to refuse them entry. You could totally turn this experience into something good. It occurs to me that I wouldn't know who to contact if that had happened to me. . .

@ waxghost, there's a pretty righteous article on gay safe street patrols in this past winter issue of radical history review, if you're into that kind of thing (personally i have a very warm place in my heart for militant community efforts like that but the piece there gives a pretty interesting, more complicated history).

It's really sad that this man still wasn't getting help despite this kind of behavior. I hope you will forever more feel safe and secure in your own house samhita.

Samhita -- Thank you so much for sharing your story here. I've lived in SF for a few years now, and after living alone in two decent-sized apartments in rougher neighborhoods (and having tons of problems), I've opted to live with a roommate in a super tiny apartment in an excellent neighborhood instead. Our gorgeous and wonderfully diverse city does come with some of the sad disadvantages of urban living. Housing prices, lack of care for the mentally ill, densely packed apartment buildings with offsite managers, an underfunded police department without the teeth to compassionately but appropriately deal with criminals or drug users or the mentally ill -- it sounds like it all made for the perfect storm in your case. I'm glad you're in a better environment now.

Jesus, Samhita. That's terrifying. I'm glad you're all right. Your neighbor sounds like a classic paranoid schizophrenic, and people with that disorder can become very violent and dangerous indeed. I don't understand, really, why he couldn't be involuntarily committed for the requisite 72 hours at least--he was very clearly a danger to himself and/or others.

I'm also pleased that I'm not the only one who remembers that Reagan destroyed mental health services--not only the inpatient services that would have given someone with such a major psychiatric disorder somewhere to go, but also the outpatient services that might have allowed him to live safely in the outside world. Remember the schizophrenic man who, about ten or fifteen years ago, pushed a young woman in front of a subway, killing her, and how everyone was pushing for involuntary commitment laws? That guy (whose name I can't remember--Andrew Goldstein, maybe?) had been to his social worker three days earlier, saying repeatedly that the voices were back, and he was scared, because he was pretty sure he was going to hurt someone soon, and his social worker called every single hospital she knew, and not one had a bed for him. Thanks, Ronnie.

Another problem is health insurance. Even if someone does go to the ER with severe mental health problems, the ER can only treat them until they're stable. So the ER can give someone psychiatric meds until that person is stable, and then release them onto the street with no way of getting more meds, and, surprise, surprise, that person very quickly deteriorates. But without adequate health insurance, there's no alternative.

Further sympathies- that sounds absolutely terrifying.

I don't buy that the landlord can't evict the guy. Threatening and stalking other tenants should be more than enough to have the guy thrown out. The landlord is lazy.

It may certainly be the case that the guy is lazy (and it sounds like he probably was), but, at least in my state, evicting a tenant- even a potentially dangerous one- is a long and arduous process. If a tenant doesn't want to leave, you can't just kick them out, even if they're being disruptive. First you have to give written notice, and most states require that the notice give the tenant a certain number of days to vacate. Some require that you have court orders to remove tenants, which is a further complication, because it means that you have to meet the legal standards for "threatening" behavior. As far as I can tell, it takes a minimum of two weeks just to get a hearing, here, and they usually give you extra time to find a place and get your crap out. Which is to say, even if the guy wasn't being lazy, I don't know that it would have helped in a case like this. Unless a tenant flatly breaks the law, getting rid of them is tough.

And you mentioned having him on the street- it's true, it'd make it harder to threaten people in their homes, but I wouldn't be surprised at all if living on the street increased the chances of him attacking someone. I mean, it's currently a no-win situation. Let him stay in the apartment where he's clearly fixated upon the other residents, and, thus, a threat? Or evict him so that he's out on the street, where he's not only a threat to total strangers, but also... well... living on the streets.

As others have said: Thanks a bunch, Reagan. You ass.

Samhita, we're all glad you are safe now! Don't ever feel guilty because you didn't stay and "defend" yourself, you did the right thing the whole way through this terrifying incident. I hope you enjoy your new place, and I look forward to reading your posts again!

Oh my god! I'm so glad you got out of there safely!

Having worked for a collections/evictions lawyer in the recent past, a lot of questions have come up, though.

I guess it's likely that in Indiana the laws are way different than in NY, but in these parts a landlord can refuse to renew a lease for basically any reason. And violence, criminal stalking, noise violations, drugs, and nonpayment of rent are all grounds for a hella-quick eviction. Maybe if you could give probable cause of suspicion for drug use, you could get him out...? I dunno how it works there, though. But given what you've said, it would seem you could get the ball rolling for an emergency eviction and it'd go through, with your testimony. I'm inclined to think your landlord is nuts, uneducated on the laws, or lazy, or all the above.

I fear for the women left in that apartment. I fear that people won't be safe from this guy until he *does* hurt someone, and gets locked up. Eviction, as has been previously said, is only putting him out of the building and into the street to endanger other people.

Another thing I can't help but think of--almost irrelevant to your story but certainly worth taking care of because it could leave you pretty screwed pretty quickly--Did you make good arrangements with your landlord about breaking your lease before you got out? Pay any and all break-lease fees necessary? Take pictures of the apartment before you left so you'd have ammo in case of a rent-and-damages lawsuit? It sounds ludicrous, it *is* ludicrous, and you're upset so it's not at the forefront of your mind--but I'm tellin' you, you need to cover your butt when it comes to the matter. I don't want you to have to go through the crap I've seen.

Good to hear that you're okay! Your post before about you dealing with something that happened at your apartment was ominous, so I'm glad that, while terrifying, you were able to get out of that situation.

I just came to my home II. after some three weeks. This place was robbed like two years ago. Meantime I got whatever safety stuff I could before I would change my apartment into a prison but still, when I'm off here for more than a weekend, I'm getting totally freaked out that someone might break in.
Then, they stole some crap and my computer with my thesis (I had two hard drives, one for work, one for backups, you know...) and my archive with several thousands of photographs - things for publishing and such, not bad pics of Grandma and birthday cake and I'm still recovering that one.
The police came, then, and all they could do was walk in the soil from a broken flowerpot and then straight to white carpets.
Le sigh. I feel your pain.

I've never actually posted a comment here before. But, after reading this story, I just had to. Because, I had a very, very similar experience. Except, I was the crazy one thinking that people were going to kill me. Yes, I have schizophrenia. And, I just wanted to say that this person definitely should have been involuntarily hospitalized. If he wasn't on anti-psychotic medication, he needs to be. But, since he wasn't forced into hospitalization, you did the right thing by moving. Also, I don't want to scare you, but it is possible that he might try to search for you. If I were you, I'd get an unlisted phone number, just in case. I'm sorry this happened to you.

Sam, why didn't you get an application for a restraining order anyway? In fact, you still can and might want to do it. You can get the application for order at the McAllister St. courthouse across from City Hall. You'd have a hearing downtown and, whether or not the judge issued an order, you and the subject would still have an official record in the civil index, which could be critical if he starts harassing another victim. You can also go to the research room there and run his name through civil records to see if there are any additional TROs or (for your landlord) UD cases naming him. Find your beefiest male friend or hire a PI to serve the guy, or ask the cops to do it for you. Then, if he harasses you again, you call the cops and he gets picked up for violating the order.

Another thing that might be helpful (maybe not now but if this sort of thing happens again) is to go to room 101 at 850 Bryant and research the guy's criminal history in the blue books. You can use whatever you find in your TRO application, as well as present it to the landlord. (Who knows, maybe he lied on his rental application about past felonies...there's grounds for eviction right there.)

When mentally ill people can be deemed potentially harmful to themselves or others, they can be involuntarily committed to a psychiatric ward. If anyone finds herself in a similar situation, try calling an ambulance. The police ought to have been able to detain the mentally ill person long enough to have him evaluated by a licensed psychiatric health care professional.

A friend of mine is in the middle of dealing with a similar problem. Only the guy is her roommate and she didn't know he was mentally ill when he moved in. He left her a note threatening to "get her" (this is after an escalating series of notes where he called her things like "homo," "cunt" and "bitch"). She went to the police also and they didn't believe her, even when she showed them the note. They said she was lying because she didn't like living with him anymore, and even accused her of being a jealous ex-girlfriend. They said they couldn't do anything because he didn't use the word "kill" in the note. There was also a gingerbread man cake in the apartment that he stuck a knife in and left outside her bedroom door. This, however, means nothing to the cops. Her landlord also refuses to believe her because the guy, of course, acts normal towards him. Same accusations of spying and of being in league with the police against him.

The whole thing just drives home how little women's words count for. Even without talking with the guy they immediately side with him over the scared and displaced woman in front of them.

Also, this is in Canada, and I don't know about in the U.S. but you can't get a restraining order against someone unless there is a personal relationship there. You have to get something else called a "peace bond" I think, which requires the police to agree to send your file to the courts. In my friend's case, the police woman dealing with her won't send her file and won't tell her why.

The restraining order might be good in a "cover your ass" kind of way down the road. When I was dealing with a nightmare situation in my last place I filed as much paperwork as possible so there was a trail.

Though it mainly focuses on NYC, Tenant.net can be a good resource (violetlightning, it might be helpful to start here for your excellent idea). Be aware the forum participants can be VERY touchy if you're inquiring how to evict someone, even if the person is dangerous. That's my only issue with the site...they seem to think all tenants are in the right, and all landlords are scum (even in NYC this is certainly not the case).

Yikes, Samhita! Poor you and poor your neighbor. I'm glad you're OK.

Jane-
Thanks for the link. Someday, when I get my sh*t together, that website is on my list.

One thing I worry about with restraining orders is that in order for them to work, you have to give the person a lot of information about your whereabouts - home, work, school - so they'll stay away from them. Of course, they might not have known where you were before the restraining order, and if they are really unstable and paranoid I'm not sure how they would *interpret* the order. (ie, would they think it was a further persecution requiring 'self defense') Does anyone know what steps to take to make sure that there is a police record detailing his behavior so that if another person has problems like this with him there's a record they can use to bolster their claim? Furious|T|, those were good suggestions.

marcyfight, I hope your friend is okay and has a place to go. If she isn't already, you might suggest she keep a journal - like a log - of what's going on. It can be really helpful when trying to repeat the story - keeping the facts and dates etc straight when you're feeling panicky and emotional. So document, document, document. Photograph things (when he's not around) and keep everything in a safe place - preferably in a locked drawer. Also she should put a slide lock on her door for when she's inside, and a key lock for when she's away. I hope that she finds someone who listens and can do something.

"That's terrifying. I'm so sorry you had to go through that without the proper support from the authorities. What kinds of things do you think people like myself could do to help address this issue?"

I toptally agree. How can I help?

And some people wonder why people don't trust police officers? Not only do women have problems with police, but minorities too it seems. Was it not obvious this man was mentally ill and should be in a psychiatric hospital? *is baffled*
I am so glad you are safe though.

Glad that you're safe Samhita! While it was nothing like yours, I've had to live under/next door to two mentally unstable people and I know how stressful it can be. My situation never got as extreme as yours (I was moving anyway the first time, second time the guy left on his own) but there were nights where I was up late, wondering what the hell was going on. Congrats on the new place and feel better.

I was briefly staying in a flat here in Berlin where a neighbour who was mentally ill had been harrassing my friends for years, playing loud music. They were leaving because he was not (tenants are very well protected in Germany and no one could throw him out). I was camping in the empty flat.
This guy attacked the lock of the door with a screwdriver while I was in the shower, so that the flat could no longer be locked. After that I moved out.
The next people to move into the flat where a single mother and three kids. I often wonder how they did.

I'm sad for the way this was handled with regards to your safety, but also about the totally inadequate mental health care on offer to this poor guy.

I am so sorry. I would think that it would be in everybody's best interest to have him treated and not a disturbed threat.

I asked someone who works in the Mental Health field who he would suggest calling if a neighbor showed up at your door and accused you of spying on them. He said the police. Even if they can't arrest him or anything, you could try filing a restraining order that would bar him from any further contact with you. (Instead of a distance requirement.) That way, when he later made attempts at getting into/looking into your apartment, it would clearly be a crime. So I looked into that, and:
http://www.sfgov.org/site/courts_index.asp?id=32354
In California, a civil harassment order would be the thing to get. Of course, he could turn around and try filing one against you because he thinks you're surveilling him, (a Civil Harassment orders the harasser "not to keep the victim under surveillance or follow the victim"), but if he did that, you'll have a lovely record of his delusions.
I'm not sure if other states have similar restraining orders. Some day, the links will be posted on that website I've been dreaming about . . .

Samhita,
I know I am very late in my response, but just read your account of having to move for your own safety and well-being. I have totally been there and I really relate to your frustration. In an effort to protect the rights of people like your neighbor, our rights get trampled. In my case, the powers-that-be would not do much at all "until he actually does something." Nevermind that he threatened to beat me up, blow up the building, and/or burn my apartment down. (My guy thought I blew his CIA cover and was, I guess you could say, pissed.) Anyway, I stayed in my condo for a couple more years because I owned it, until I eventually sold it and moved. It sounds like you made the best decision for you, and I commend you for taking care of yourself. Thank you for letting us all know we are not alone. Best wishes.