Is anyone else totally creeped out by the idea of being "stuck together forever" with someone else? Ugh.

"Imagine if 2 clean pieces stuck together?"

Instead of your dirty, smelly trash can twat!

You are worthless if you have sex before straight marriage?
And I don't remember leaving pieces of my vagina all over the place, or in the rooms of partners I have been with. These people are clearly having sex incorrectly.

It may just be me, but I like the idea that whenever I touch someone (in a sexual or other sense) I take part of them with me and leave part of me with them. That ultimately sounds much more fulfilling than only be "stuck" with one person.

I can't spare the bandwidth to watch it again, so maybe someone who can watch more closely can answer: was this duct tape mostly stuck tape and transported to/by females?

I find it hilarious that the background music has lyrics that say
After all, we're only human/Always fighting what we're feeling

How deliciously appropriate. Also, that tape seemed to keep sticking pretty well. It didn't get limp or fall off or anything!

Playing Devil's Advocate for a moment, is there any evidence (other than, you know, "imagine if ...") that two virgins who marry have a lower divorce rate than two non-virgins? Since that's a pretty unusual occurrence I doubt that there's a lot of surveys or serious psychology/sociology evidence on the subject, but isn't this entire PSA/abstinence only strategy (because this isn't the first duct tape reference I've seen) based on conjecture?

The one couple I know who fit that criteria divorced within two years ... which I realize isn't the kind of serious evidence I'm demanding. But I guess my point is that there's no reason to believe even if you kept your duct tape clean (a totally horrifying metaphor to be sure) that you'd have a more successful relationship as a result.

Maybe it's just me, but I don't think being affected by my relationships is a bad thing. It's how we grow as humans.

This message is emotionally dangerous on so many levels.

Oops, I meant criterion not criteria ... my Latin fails me again.

Remember, kids! Sex is vile, dirty and disgusting, so only do it with the person you love and plan to stay with forever!

I don't have sound on this computer, so it's unclear to me: is this one actually addressed to the guys? Certainly the bit about "leaving a little of yourself behind" is more applicable to men, right?

These people are really bad at metaphor.

The purpose of tape is to adhere one thing to another thing. Because of it's design, it doesn't work as well if you keep removing it and re-attaching it to stuff. Doing so reduces it's effectiveness.

Sex is not like tape. It doesn't become "less effective" if you do it more than once, if you do it with more than one person, or if you do it before you're married. In fact, you might even become *better* at sex the more you do it.

Sex is not like tape at all.

It may just be me, but I like the idea that whenever I touch someone (in a sexual or other sense) I take part of them with me and leave part of me with them.

This reminded me of a beautiful passage in J.D. Salinger's "Raise High the Roofbeams, Carpenter," in which the character Seymour Glass writes:

"I have scars on my hands from touching certain people. Once, in the park, when Franny was still in the carriage, I put my hand on the downy pate of her head and left it there too long. Another time, at Loew's Seventy-second Street, with Zooey during a spooky movie. He was about six or seven, and he went under the seat to avoid watching a scary scene. I put my hand on his head. Certain heads, certain colors and textures of human hair leave permanent marks on me. Other things, too. Charlotte once ran away from me, outside the studio, and I grabbed her dress to stop her, to keep her near me. A yellow cotton dress I loved because it was too long for her. I still have a lemon-yellow mark on the palm of my right hand. Oh, God, if I'm anything by a clinical name, I'm a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.'"

Not only is the comparison disgustingly reductive of female sexuality (because, of course, it's targeted only at women, most of the people handling the piece of tape are women, the, er, "clean vessels")--but it just shows you the pointlessness of making comparisons involving human sexuality.

If you want to make a point about human sexuality, talk about IT. Not about duct tape, or birds and bees. Name it and describe it, goddamn it. Out of simple respect towards the topic and all concerned.

As a high school senior, I can honestly say that this is exactly what abstinence ed is like. In my class, a guest speaker, Ms. Ng, from W8NG (yes, abstinence folks love them some bad puns), brought two boys to the front of the class, connected their arms with duct tape, explained that "this represents sex", ripped the tape off, and, as the boys were getting pissed off about their now hairless arms, explained that just as the tape is now less sticky, you can't love as strongly if you have sex before marriage. She then went on some rant about oxytocin, and how the metaphor is "scientific". To their credit, the entire class just laughed at her.
She also had one boy give another (it was always unintentionally homoerotic, which was great) a piece of candy to unwrap. She then instructed the boy to re-wrap the candy, and asked, "now, is this shoddily wrapped candy something you'd want to give to someone on your wedding night?"
So yeah, it really is this twisted.

With a little tweaking that could be a beautiful video.

When someone sticks to me I hope something is left behind, that they challenge or change me - they often do stick with me in spirit.

When I stick to someone I'd like to believe that I also leave something behind.

And two clean pieces of tape sticking together? That can be a bad situation. Sometimes when your sticking for the first time you can hold on too tight and get locked into something that's not good for you.

Not a bad moral, not a bad moral at all.

Oh, yea, and the second thing I learned is not to plaster my body against a garbage can.

Are there any other common life activities where inexperience supposedly makes you really really good at it?

We want babysitters, drivers and doctors to have experience, because it makes them better and more qualified, right? How is it, then, that increased sexual experience supposedly makes future sex so sucky?

Surely the entire metaphor is flawed - if a person is duct tape, and their future virginal spouse is also duct tape, then any another person will be duct-tape as well . So what then are the walls, garbage cans etc supposed to represent?
There are problems with both the medium and the message. If this is the confusing, conflicting 'information' that is being fed to young people instead of proper education, no wonder unwanted pregnancy, spread of STDs etc are becoming more an issue than ever.

Yep, I totally got this presentation in eighth grade. Of course, only the girls got it--the guys went outside and played freeze tag. That's Catholic school for ya.

Only the lady who did our presentation used packing tape. Way more effective, because it's clear and pure like a virgin's heart. @@

Uh... is it just me, or is the "choice" between "Having sex and forever damning yourself to Hell, not to mention being reduced to literal garbage" or "Staying abstinent and happy forever!" not really a choice at all? I mean when we are given only one safe option, and told lies about the other, how can we make informed, positive choices?

Oh, that's right, we can't. One of the many reasons I am glad to be canadian

I remember seeing a redneck humor book that claimed you could do anything you wanted with either duct tape or WD40. So if duct tape is for abstinence only, I guess WD40 would be for "anything goes." ;-)

What a fabulous way to promote self esteem for our youth today. My vagina is tape and if like tape it has been used more than once by more than one person I will have a nasty sticky-less vagina. I am sure that this will make our young girls feel great about their lives. It is a great message to be sending and giving teens. That to have had sex with more than one person you will be like a used piece of tape who no longer works and has nasty stuck all over it.

Wonderful.

Except my vagina is not tape or even remotely like tape. And I like the idea that I leave something of myself with the people that have been in my life like they have left me with something of themselves. Oh and my vagina works just fine and has no nasty stuck anywhere on it.

Did it bother anyone else that the two most often repeated images were of the tape being stuck to the trash can... and the fat girl? It wasn't stuck to other people - a couple walls, doors, the trash can... and the fat girl.

And what was up with her being comforted at the water fountain? I don't even know what the subtext is there, and I don't like it.

But then, I ran out of sticky long before I got married...

Because Flight of the Conchords is begging to be quoted here:

"Love is like a roll of tape
It's real good for making two things one
But just like that roll of tape
Love sometimes breaks off before you were done
Another way that love is similar to tape
That I've noticed
Is sometimes it's hard to see the end
You search on the roll
With your fingernail
Again and again
And again and again
And again."

But yeah, vaginas are not much like tape at all. Terrible metaphor.

Continuing with the flawed metaphor theme... if you stick two pieces of duct tape together, they can no longer serve the function for which they were created, at which point most people thrown them away.

First off, I have to disagree a bit about the vagina-not-tape thing. As an engineer, I absolutely love duct tape. It can make absolutely anything. If I ever needed to craft a replacement vagina, then I would use duct tape. It's durable, available in pink, can be repaired and maintained with more duct tape... (I would not, however, use it sticky-side-out [sticky-side-in?], can you imagine the poor guy's chafing? OUCH!)

The video looks like it was made by a teenager -- the quality is poor (and I was getting dizzy in some scenes), the setting is entirely in a school. So it's a little harsh to critique the video, because they're just repackaging silly messages they've been told in class. It was probably made for a class project -- we had to do dumb stuff like that back in abstinence-sex-ed, although our version was audio-only PSA's. (My friend's -- "Virginity isn't like your car keys -- if you lose it, you can't find it again" -- still makes me laugh.) However, I thoroughly disagree with them being taught and encouraged to repeat a message like this. It's flawed for reasons everyone above has already expounded on.

I'll also add that my spouse and I we were virgins when we met, shacked up for about five years, then got married and have somehow managed to muddle through another six. I do NOT attribute our relationship's strength to being sexually inept when we met, or indeed to any part of our sex life; there's a LOT more to surviving a relationship than sex! (e.g., negotiating cooking, negotiating laundry, negotiating putting toilet seat down so I don't fall in...)

Now, if we could get the duct tape vagina to also magically clean the dishes every night, we might be getting somewhere.

@ BabyPop: There's one guy at the beginning, but the large majority are girls. Moreover, only the fat girl has the tape actually stuck to her as she walks down the hall--another nice touch.

@ annajcook: Props for quoting my very favorite Salinger work.

The designers of this video must really like zooms, fades, and (particularly) wipes.

UCLAbodyimage: I think it's funny that you completely turned their metaphor around, and I totally agree with you.

Also, Januaries is right. If you're going to talk to teenagers about sexuality, talk to them about sexuality. The tape metaphor is too ridiculous and complicated.
Plus, had I been told something like this in high school, I would have been offended that I was being treated as if I couldn't understand what they were talking about.

sorry if this was mentioned...this video is almost as good as the "baby in a box" post last year :)

my favorite part is the "aspire to positive choices". Choices like acquiring knowledge? Applying that knowledge to experience? Coming to understand and be comforatable with your body and your emotions? Doing the latter, especially, is hard enough when you're a teenager without having gibbering fanatics constantly shouting at you to repress the dirty, dirty, nasty, nasty little thoughts you are always (always) having.

No, your vagina or penis is not duct tape, but does anyone remember this old anti-AIDS/STD message?

“When you have sex with someone, you are having sex with everyone they have had sex with, and everyone their partners have had sex with.� -C. Everett Koop, Former U.S. Surgeon General

Technically true, if someone is carrying any sort of STD, and why we have the same STDs today that have been around for centuries (like syphilis), in addition to new ones (like AIDS) supposedly from other regions of the world. Most people probably never thought it would happen to them, or mistakenly trusted their partners to be monogamous. Which is why I recommend barrier protection in addition to any other forms of contraception.

Watching this kind of shit literally makes me want to go out and fuck anything I can get my hands on. It triggers an uncontrollable urge to run around with my panties around my ankles humping shitloads of democrats, out of wedlock, using sex toys, with several forms of contraception acquired from Planned Parenthood, while having lots of amazing, messy, ejaculatory orgasms and screaming "HERE'S YOUR ABSTINENCE, BITCH!"

Kind of like the way Partnership for a Drug Free America commercials make me feel about smoking pot. Those things practically force me to get high.

God, I'm so glad my parents or school never even tried this abstinence bullshit with me. Being able to fuck and jerk off guilt free rules!

Also, this is not sexist, but an unfortunate medically proven fact: women, particularly young women (25 and younger, also the highest risk group for men) are especially prone to STDs, and likely to go without diagnosis because of their internal structure and mucous membranes. Men and women should be tested regularly to be treated for STDs and prevent spread to their partners.

Sexually transmitted diseases & women's health
National Women's Health Report, June, 2002
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0NKT/is_3_24/ai_97185464

Symptoms of chlamydia may never show up at all in ***70% of infected women***, and pose serious risks to women wanting to become pregnant, and to babies. Again, testing for pregnant women is a good idea to prevent transmission to babies.

"In the United States, adolescent girls and young women are not being routinely screened for chlamydia, the most commonly reported sexually transmitted disease in the United States."

This is NOT sexist, and NOT slut shaming.

"As physicians, we need to dispel the stigma and bias that so often surround STDs," Dr. David E. Soper, professor of ob-gyn at the Medical University of South Carolina in Charleston said in a statement. "The reality is that STDs are diseases of humanity. Humans become infected doing what humans do."

"ccording [sic] to ACOG, a recent study by the CDC and the Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality found that routine chlamydia screening is highly cost-effective, with the potential to prevent an estimated 60,000 cases of pelvic inflammatory disease, 8,000 cases of chronic pelvic pain, and 7,500 cases of infertility annually if screening guidelines are followed."

Women age 25 and younger should be aware of risk of STD: Chlamydia
http://www.ndri.com/news/women_age_25_and_younger_should_be_aware_of_risk_of_std_chlamydia-283.html

A MALE-

telling people (and aiming your message at girls and women in particular- let's face it" abstinence programs are religion-based and patriarchy-based) that their bodies are dirty and not giving the facts that you stated IS sexist and IS slut-shaming.

Hey A Male, great argument for comprehensive sex ed. Any frequent reader here knows that AbOnly programs not only fail to reduce the rate at which teens have sex, but AbPledges actually reduce the rate at which they protect themselves from STIs when they do have sex.

This reminds me of things I used to see at church youth group. And can I say that thinking of being with one person forever is creepy? I can't imagine doing one thing forever. Or eating one thing forever. Or watching one tv show/movie forever. Or reading the same book forever. And I certainly haven't met one person I want to spend 100% of my time with.

Did anybody else notice that the fat girl got the last piece of duct tape... from the girl comforting her by the water fountain?

So... if I'm seeing this right then basically what they're saying is, it's bad for you to leave duct tape on trash cans. It is okay, however, for you to leave your duct tape (if you're female) on your female friend who's off getting water.

Abstinence only, but if you can't hold out then it's okay for girls to give themselves away to other girls because that's not the same thing as giving yourself away to a dirty trashcan, which in this case must be a boy?

The metaphor's kind of junked up an extra notch if you think about it like this: The duct tape is Your Body.

Why the f**k would you want your _body_ stuck to another body _forever_? Unless, of course, we're equating a woman's power with her capacity for sex with men.

I would like point out that I am not "slut shaming" by pointing out a women and children's health issue, as recognized by women's health sites. Both men and women should be tested regularly, even if you have only one partner.

"The metaphor's kind of junked up an extra notch if you think about it like this: The duct tape is Your Body."

The message made clear they likened duct tape to bodies. I like to think of STDs as duct tape, which is why they persist centuries later. A piece of duct tape that is passed on, but continues with its original host, as a matter of fact.

"And can I say that thinking of being with one person forever is creepy? I can't imagine doing one thing forever."

Marriage, and lasting marriage, is not for everyone. I've been married for 11 years, but can't imagine staying married for another 40 or 50 years myself. We'll see. Can't imagine getting remarried if my wife leaves, either, because I wouldn't want to invest the same amount of time in someone else to grow together.

"And I certainly haven't met one person I want to spend 100% of my time with."

Marriage should not be taken lightly, even with the prevalence of divorce, and existence of no fault divorce. Which is why people have a life outside of a relationship like work, friends, hobbies and private time. My wife and I are at home together a maximum six hours a day, not including any overlapping sleep time, and not all that time is spent together. No time together at all if I work the late or night shift.

dckatiebug, I do know that Evangelical Christians have a HIGHER rate of divorce than do Atheists--I found this out in a pastoral care class in Divinity School. So, I don't know how many Evangelicals are virgins and Atheists are sexually experienced to compare (and perhaps the lower divorce rate among Atheists might be more attributable to equitable division of labor among partners than mind blowing sex, though the sex would help), but it might be interesting to see where the stat's play out.

peace

I quite liked the passivity involved here. "Don't let your tape be used," they admonish. Well, what if I want to use my tape? What if I make the conscious, informed decision to use my tape however I choose? What if I use my tape with someone who also has chosen to use his/her tape and we both are happier and better off for having done so? Is it so inconceivable that tape might want to be used? I mean, if we're playing with this lame metaphor, let's go whole hog. Sometimes tape just wants to be used!