That's terrible. How dare they secretly arrange for him to be in the same ROOM with her after she had to get a restraining order to stop him from abusing her?! Maybe they could do some RESEARCH next time, like making sure the guests on their show aren't psychopathic? Gee, seems like a no-brainer. Especially since they have no idea how a crazy like that might act if he is publicly humiliated, which they should have seen coming since the "couple" wasn't even together anymore! Who accepts a marriage proposal from an abusive ex?! But hey, it's GOOD TV... even if this innocent woman is murdered.

There would probably be more concern over this had Orliva said, live on the show, that Navarro had abused her.

That's really awful. Having had an abusive ex myself, I can only imagine her horror in coming face to face with him on national television. I don't know how the show could have known he was lying though, unless they have a procedure of doing background checks on everyone or something (maybe they should after this incident), so I don't think it's really OK to blame the show. The worst part about abusers is that they appear so completely normal, and even devoted, to the outside world. They are experts at hiding the truth about themselves.

god, you'd think they'd be able to find out if she had a restraining order against him. Sadly it sounds like the psycho would have killed her regardless of where she rejected his proposal. They'll probably be charged with some kind of neglegence eh?

I've always thought shows that surprise guests to catch them off guard are reprehensible. They should have to disclose all guests' names. How awful for Orliva to be confronted with her abuser on television.

I wonder if the show could be held liable for helping Navarro to break the restraining order?

It's deeply sickening to read about the audience cooing and the show host trying to badger her into responding "appropriately" to such a personal matter being aired publicly without her consent. More of the absurd "assault as compliment" mindset?

Slightly tangentially, I am woefully underinformed about domestic violence and am wondering about a good basic text, preferably with a UK emphasis. If anyone has a suggestion I would be most grateful.

The video is deeply disturbing. She doesn't give any detail to the audience about the why they broke up or why she refused--and I can't help but think that she's trying to avoid enraging him further.

And Jol--you're so right! She tells him "No." and Patricia asks her, "I don't know or no?"--trying to feed her a "maybe".

Yuck. I came face to face with my abusive ex's parents and I could barely breath until they left. If I ever came face to face with my actual ex it would be even worse. I hope her family takes the producers of this TV show to court for what they've done. They ARE responsible whether they think so or not.

Slightly OT, but I think marriage proposals should always take place in private rather than in public settings like a TV show, stadium or restaurant. We've all been raised on a diet of crappy TV and movie romances where the overly melodramatic ("romantic") proposals are always answered with "YES!" and the heroine never has any doubts or hesitation. Because of this, a lot of people feel this is how a proposal should always play out, regardless of whether or not they know the circumstances or details of the relationship in question, and as a result, many real live women get put on the spot in a way that places an enormous amount of pressure on them to give the "right" answer. Women aren't esepcially encouraged/empowered to say "no" in general, but in the case of a marriage proposal, it's even worse. There is no "No"--unless she's a heartless, selfish bitch--just "YES!" or minimally a "maybe" or a stall-for-time "I don't know..." response that still leaves the door open for the possibility. Meh.

Vervain: OT as well, but it reminds me of the recent Bachelor controversy. I don't watch the show, but apparently he didn't propose to either woman and now everyone hates the guy. I say more power to people who say no to marriage or know when it's not the right time or right person for them. Marriage proposal in public? Yeah, that wouldn't work for me at all.

Abusers often use florists to not only gain access, send messages, but to get information, (such as if the woman still works at a certain place, personal phone numbers, ect). Also,sending flowers is a passive aggressive way to harrass the victim.

It usually goes something like this: Abuser sends flowers to make her co-workers think he is great, concerned, or that he is "concerned" about her. (Deflecting the blame for her moodiness, depression, sadness, ect.)

If the victim is no longer living with her abuser, he'll send flowers to her work, to do the same, but also calls the flower shop to make sure she recieved the flowers, what the reaction was, or if the flowers were not deliverable, may try to entice the flower shop to get forwarding information from the employer.

That is horrifying.

Slightly off topic, sorry!

I wanted to start with the point that abusers often use public displays of love to gain access to victims.

lilorphant- you are dead on accurate.
And in this day and age, a show like that should at the very least do a background check on its to-be-guests.

I don't understand how they could not do a background check. I would think that would be regular procedure by now? Especially since someone wanting to propose marriage to their ex-girlfriend ought to be kind of suspicious in the first place.

Of course the asshole who murdered her is to blame for this, but also so is the show. What the hell kind of person imagined the idea of a dude proposing to his ex without thinking maybe a background check is in order. I am so sickened because she could still be alive today otherwise.

Here in Spain, violence against women is BIG, meaning that every time yet ANOTHER woman is killed by her partner, the news programmes comment on the number of women that have killed in the course of the year.

HOWEVER, despite all the energy and funding being dumped to solve this problem, NO ONE HAS MENTIONED THE 16 DAYS OF ACTIVISM AGAINST GENDER VIOLENCE.

In defense of the TV station, most abusive guys appear fairly normal, and even loving, outside of their relationships. They probably thought they were going to get some sappy teary-eyed romance on the screen. If the woman did apprise them later of the restraining order or his abusive tendencies, I think they could be held responsible for not providing security to her. I do wish Spain has death penalty for such cases though.

Farhat: How about we NOT defend the television station? Yes, lots of abusive assholes appear fairly normal, my ex included, but how is that an excuse for the responsibility they should now take because this happened on their watch? The woman had NO idea they were going to put her abusive ex on and who knows if she had the time or it even occurred to her to mention to the station that she had a restraining order against this man. But that's really not the point whatever she told them, they still brought on a man who had abused her and gave him the opportunity to propose to her. She might very well be alive today if they hadn't wanted to stage some on-air proposal that resulted in a rejection and most likely aggravated an already sick individual to kill her.

I didn't know the murder happened on their watch. If so, they are fully responsible.

Okay, I read the article and I really don't see how the television program is at fault for this murder, other than they should have done a background check. Yeah, it's incredibly fucked up, but it doesn't state in the article anywhere that the murder occurred under their watch. All it says is that the murder happened five days after the show was taped. Could anyone share where they've read that the murder happened under the TV show's watch? That being said, I hope the ex-boyfriend gets as stiff a sentence as possible.

gaelicgirl: in the US, whenever something bad happens, the entity with the most money around is responsible. :)

She was this year's victim number 70 in Spain (the population is 40 million if you want a reference to compare). And there's a new case on the news this morning. :-(

This is a big issue in Spain.

Follow up from this piece of news: the vice president Maria Teresa Fernandez de la Vega met up with tv network representatives yesterday and they made a "pact" to fight against gender violence, especially regarding how information about this kind of events is portrayed (eg: displaying help-line numbers when the subject is talked about, talking about the arrests and trials of the attackers and not just the death of the victims...). If you can read spanish, here's an article: http://www.elpais.com/articulo/sociedad/televisiones/pactan/medidas/maltrato/elpepusoc/20071129elpepisoc_3/Tes

This woman did NOTHING to provoke her ex-boyfriend's rage. Absolutely nothing.

This man is a sick asshole. Killing a woman just because she saw you for who you really were: an abusive monster.

And ultrasonica, I am not very fluent in Spanish, but I will try translate it on my blog.