Pardon me as I vomit...

“I’ve had women call (American Concrete) and say it’s one of the funniest things they’ve seen.”

No. No you haven't.

“It’s unfortunate that some people are reading much more into it than they should.”

Umm... I would LOVE to hear any other way of "reading" this. Is there some concrete shoe craze I haven't heard about? Yeah, didn't think so.

This is very disturbing...not funny at all.

Looks like the phone number for the company is (716) 433-7915. Perhaps some readers should call and say it's NOT one of the funniest things they've seen?

Um, what? In addition to being offensive, it doesn't even make sense. When I hear the phrase "cement shoes", I think of the Mafia, not angry husbands. it would have made more sense if it had said something like "Know a snitch that needs a new pair of shoes?" Whether that would have been less offensive, I leave to others to debate.

also... am I misinformed, or is this not a "abuse" joke so much as a "murder" joke...?

errrrr.... an. not a.

C'mon you guys. I'm not sure if it's really funny, but its NOT offensive. It's just a goofy joke. Is this why people say we (feminists) have no sense of humor. I'm African-American and -- guess what -- we tell black jokes. Some ARE offensive but most are just silly. A good friend of mine is very proudly Polish and she loves "Pollack" jokes. I don't find this billboard offensive, just silly.

"Racist and sexist jokes can't be offensive if a woman or person of colour laughs at them!"

Ayla: Yes, it is a joke about dumping one's wife in a large body of water.

Sheila - we get upset because acceptence of sexit humour makes sexism seem ok to people :

http://www.livescience.com/health/071105-sexist-humor.html

I'd guess this works for other types of discriminatory humor as well but I don't have a study to link to for it

I can only speak for myself, but the word "goofy" doesn't exactly pop into my mind when I see something that implies murder by drowning (or at all)

A "goofy" joke would be something like the knock knock/banana/orange joke or "what kind of hair does the ocean have? WAVY!" "Murder" and "goofy" just aren't words or concepts that really go together in my mind.

Wow, looks like I should SNAP to the party line. We must ALWAYS be stiff and rigid and on the edge of our seats just waiting for the evil patriarchy to make even the slightest joke and then just go BANANAS. Sorry gang. We have a lot of battles to fight. This just isn't one of them. Most of your reactions just fall into the "feminists are cold, flat, humorless bitches" stereotype. This reminds me of this old joke:

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?"

ANSWER: "THAT'S NOT FUNNY!"

Lighten up people...

Thanks for your original and thoughtful analysis, "Sheila."

I'd rather be characterized as a cold, flat, humorless bitch than passively tolerate (or even condone) jokes that have a proven connection to increasing sexist behavior. I'm a lot more interested in stopping sexism and sexist behavior than disproving stupid stereotypes about feminism. People can think anything they like about my feminism, as long as they treat me as an equal...

I'm with June - this only is funny if it references the Mafia and not the wife. Of course, I'm soooo tired of hearing the same old tired jokes / ads relying on the same old tired assumptions about what your relationship is with your spouse, or what every man or every woman wants.

However, if it referenced goons or snitches, I probably would have laughed.

Maybe I'm just slow, but I don't quite understand the "joke."
And to an extent, I agree with the people that are telling you guys to "lighten up." Although I don't find DV/murder jokes funny in the least, I honestly think that many of the posts here are simply made on the fly with very little regard to whether or not the battle is worth fighting.

C'mon you guys. I'm not sure if it's really funny, but its NOT offensive. It's just a goofy joke. Is this why people say we (feminists) have no sense of humor. I'm African-American and -- guess what -- we tell black jokes.

Black people also call each other nigger and kill each other in black on black crimes, does that make it okay, "Sheila"?

Your "analogy" would be apt had this been a company run by WOMEN making fun of other WOMEN, but it's not. It's a group of men implying that every man secretly wishes to drown his wife. So, by your own account, because it's not a women on women joke, it's even further not "okay."

Wow, looks like I should SNAP to the party line. We must ALWAYS be stiff and rigid and on the edge of our seats just waiting for the evil patriarchy to make even the slightest joke and then just go BANANAS.

*sigh* this isn't a "slight" joke, it's making fun of the idea that killing your (presumably) nagging/bitchy wife is okay and we should all have a good laugh. It's not and it only encourages sexism. I would be duly offended if there was a Christmas add with the picture of a noose on it, asking passersby if their black neighbor needs a new "tie."

Feminists have a great sense of humor, they just don't have tolerance for this kind of bullshit.

WTF? The billboard says "wife needs new shoes?" This clearly references the stereotype that women are persistently and forever shopping, while the man sits back, frustrated but helpless. The billboard then offers men a solution to this problem - kill your wife, mafia style.

Shorter version - "women and their shopping - don't you wish you could just kill them?"

Clearly a DV/murder joke, in that it proposes that men use violent behavior to control female behavior. Clearly reinforces the stereotypes that drive a lot of ads, about women's inability not to shop and men's frustration with them.

Am I missing something here? Why would this not be a battle worth fighting? And why are people here seemingly so eager to determine that other people are fighting battles in vain? Is it because we're worried about how feminists and feminism are perceived by others and want the "movement" to act in a way we all feel comfortable with? Is there another reason? I simply cannot understand why, if a person finds something offensive as a feminist and chooses to spend time pursuing that, someone else would come along and tell her to stop - or worse, denigrate her for pursuing it.

" . . . but with the number of fatalities we see in the domestic violence field, it’s not a joke,” Granchelli said Thursday. “It’s in very poor taste.”

This person is exactly right. I'm not so much bothered by the assumption that wives are obsessed with buying shoes (ha ha, very original ad agency), but that this morphed into a joke about actually killing them because of it. (as though a passion for shoes is so annoying to husbands).

On another note, does it seems strange to anyone else that a concrete company has a special ad for the holiday season? "Merry Christmas, I got you a slab of concrete!!!"

At one point in her second marriage, my mom's abusive piece of shit husband threatened to kill her and dump her body in the river in a way that no one would ever find her. I sent her the link to the "ever so funny" bilboard and for some reason she didn't laugh.

The fact is, jokes like these aren't jokes to a lot of women who have been threatened or abused.

This joke is absolutely unnecessary and completely offensive. There is no reason that this company has to sell products by offending people. There are many other clever marketing strategies that they could use. I think it's a sad reflection on North American society that this joke is even considered funny. Why is this joke funny? Because we live in a culture where most people are complacent to the oppression of women (and other minorities). We're not getting angry enough or outraged enough that we can make jokes of violence against women. Yes, I'm a feminist AND I'm angry and I'm not going to apologize to anyone for that.
I truly believe that sublte acts of oppression like this one or the telling of a "gay joke" or the uttering of a "racial slur" are what contribute to the huge systemic forms of oppression facing people today. If we keep letting small things like this go, we become complacent, and will be less likely to stop bigger things, like violence against women, from happening.

I find that coming up with a "racist" equivalent to a sexist joke (as UltraMagnus did) often puts into perspective just how F'd up some jokes can be. If soeone had a racist joke up on a billboard, there would be very little discussion about "humorless (insert ethnicity here) people" and a lot more outrage.

Kitty, don't tell me you've never received concrete for the holidays.

Maybe it's just because I'm from the Youngstown area, but I'm with June on this one ... the cement shoes 'joke' is about your former business partner--not romantic partner.

What a creepy billboard. What am I supposed to find amusing here? I don't see a joke. I just see a threat. The fact that people can laugh at it makes it doubly disturbing.

The fact that women can force themselves to laugh at it is PATHETIC.

i am gonna have to go ahead and say "not funny"...not even amusing, or silly, and certainly not harmless. if that means that i am a cold humorless bitch, then i will wear that title proudly...

cuz jokes about domestic violence are really funny(/snark)...think about it again if it ever happens to you...things look a lot different on the way out...

i might even venture to say that it is one thing to tell a tasteless and offensive joke in a close group of peers (still not sure if i think it's ok) but to flagrantly advertise something like this is sick and wrong...and if he has to get his laughs at the expense of people for whom this isn't a joke, but something they actually had to survive then i would have to say that we as feminists are not the ones w/o humor...

Most of your reactions just fall into the "feminists are cold, flat, humorless bitches" stereotype.

Well, God forbid someone on earth doesn't think I'm warm b/c I don't think murder is HI-larious. And, wow, you threw "bitches" in there, too. Amazing. Here's a tip: you want me to lighten up? Don't insinuate that I'm a bitch.

And do we *really* need another lesson on why we can still concentrate on battle X, while discussing Y? Seriously. I'm sorry, Sheila, if your brain can't handle two atrocities at once, but mine can.

Change it to "Son bugging you for new sneakers, AGAIN?" and see how many of the people who thought it was a harmless joke are still laughing.

Strange how killing your son for whining for sneakers is not nearly as "funny" as killing your wife for buying too many shoes...

You know what, Alara? I bet the "joke" wouldn't even register then. It would look like a total non sequitur to most people...b/c cement shoes for a naggy son doesn't follow logically, whereas, clearly, murder for a naggy wife does. Ugh.

thatabbygrrl - Thanks for the oh-so kind explanation.

And my intention is not at all to silence feminists. That's completely absurd and counterproductive. Now that the "joke" has been explained to me, I understand the feelings people are harboring for this crude and tasteless ad. People have a right to be angry and hurt at something offensive, and I love this blog, but I almost feel like we're getting offended by everything and anything. I'm not trying to invalidate anyone's feelings; however, I agree that image, to an extent, does matter. The image of a cold, heartless feminist 'bitch' is not going to win us any allies in the war on sexism.

radhika, the point is that we can't worry about whether or not someone might think we fit a certain stereotype when we choose how to react to things. If we went around worrying how others might see us if we did a certain thing, we'd do nothing BUT worry. I'm a warm, caring person who enjoys humor. This ad isn't funny and if me stating that means someone will form a negative opinion of me, feminism, or the sno-cone stand down the street, it's still not going to stop me from having (and stating) my opinion.

I thoroughly dislike the ad, but I also hate the idea, insinuated by McCabe in the article, that women who have gone through domestic violence are no longer 'mainstream' and therefore don't have the right to expect basic human compassion.
Any criticism of the criticism (whether from McCabe or 'Sheila Kelly') centres on the idea that it's just stupid feminists(/sarcasm) getting upset about this, and totally ignores the fact that there are women who could be genuinely traumatised by this shit. It's not just an academic argument or a lack of humour we're talking about here, and it pisses me off no end to see it reduced to that.

It seems like we're offended by a lot, b/c a lot is offensive. And there's more of that in the world than woman-positive stuff. So it gets posted more. I don't see why I should have to apologize b/c a bunch of assholes in the world think that sexism is fun.

I'm African-American and -- guess what -- we tell black jokes....A good friend of mine is very proudly Polish and she loves "Pollack" jokes.

If you can't tell the difference between me telling my (also Jewish) friend the joke about the priest, the minister, and the rabbi who go to Atlantic City, and a corporation helmed by a man joking about men murdering their wives to male customers, the problem is yours.

Interestingly, nobody who trots out that tired canard about feminists not having a sense of humor ever seems to think about the number of jokes we tell about small penises.

Oh, Lockport...It's an interesting area.

Anyhoo...that's sick.

I was going to make two points about this, and one was made by downside-up (survivors of abuse are still mainstream and part of human society) and the other was made by AlaraJ (no one would think this was funny if the ad said, "Kids need new shoes... again?")

So carry on. Either we all share a collective feminist brain, or I need to be more original.

sure, women jokes can be "goofy," but this one isn't one of those jokes. This is equivalent to a racial joke comparing blacks to apples hanging from a tree.

Not Funny.

I also was confused as to when the "cement shoes" expression left the mafia.

"I'm African-American and -- guess what -- we tell black jokes."

Yeah but I bet if a business most likely run by white people put up a billboard with those same black jokes, they wouldn't be so funny.

I think one of the saddest issues revolving around this disgusting add is it's direct relation to the holiday season. Domestic violence sky rockets around this time because of (and not to give a cop out to any committing DV) stress and increasing debt.

During a time when many are already resorting to violence, why would you be advertising and legitimizing "reasons" to commit murder through (really bad) humor.

There's nothing funny about this advert. Like UltraMagnus said, if this was asking if your African American neighbours needed a tie in the same oh-so-funny manner, it would be ripped down within minutes.

And as for feminists not having a sense of humor, give us something funny and we'll all laugh. This, besides being in incredibly poor and violent taste, is an incredibly bad joke. Even if it wasn't offensive it's simply not funny.

1) The idea that this billboard is anything like a joke between friends does not hold water. I'm guessing that if someone's friend spoke up and said, "I know I'm a [member of minority/marginalized group] and so are you, but I'm just not OK with these [group]-ist jokes you're making, even between two [group members]" the joker would likely stop making the jokes. The maker of "jokes" probably would not accuse her friend of being cold or humourless, and would surely not call her friend a bitch. That's not the case for viewers of this ad- this is an ad on a billboard. Anyone driving along who sees this crap has limited avenues by which to express the disgust/anger/hurt/fear... to the ad's creators. (Not that the ad's creators would be kind enough to listen.)

2) This is not "THE" fight. No one is saying that. Just as pay equality is not THE fight; just like access to abortions is not THE fight; just like getting women elected to office is not THE fight.
But yes this is absolutely part of the fight. This ad wouldn't exist if misogyny was unacceptable. Even if getting the ad taken down isn't the ultimate goal, talking about why it is offensive is part of the fight, silence- not to mention a hearty guffaw, in this case- just breeds complacency.

Sheila Kelly, I think you should have a look at this book. It analyzes women's humour, specifically feminist humour, and also discusses why aggressive misogynist humour -- laughter as a baring of the teeth -- is Not Okay.

I'm always confused by comments complaining a particular post isn't worth fighting for. Did anyone cancel a rally to read that post? Decide to skip their volunteering for the day in order to comment? If I wasn't commenting to this...I'd probably be reading LiveJournal or something. No ones really expending a lot of effort here.

Though interestingly enough, the people repeatedly commenting over why this is a worthless issue to post about, are expending as much or more energy than the other commenters. So the billboard about murdering your spouse isn't worth fighting for, but why it isn't worth fighting for is? What?

I find that "not worth fighting for" can frequently be re-interpreted as 'doesn't bother me personally and I don't have the empathy to see beyond that.'

My jaw literally dropped when I saw this. Brutal.

I think this is just in poor taste. I'm not immediately convinced that this is worth fighting about unless you have the time. The person who made this could have just as easily made the "wife" "husband". I think they chose wife because of the stereotype that men are more likely to do construction/handy work and so putting "wife" made more sense. Jokes are made about women killing their husbands and vice versa. While they are certainly in poor taste (I don't want to be in a marriage like that!), I think they're more neutral than we're letting them be here.

So, as feminism is allegedly about equality between the sexes, how do you feel about the 'all men are bastards' knifeblock? Apparently, it's selling like hotcakes. You know, it's the one where you jab your clean knives into the figure of a man (and with a title such as "all *men* are bastards" it's hard to pretend it could be either sex).
As feminism is for equality, I'm confident that you will have posted about the knifeblock somewhere on this site and expressed an equal distaste for it as you have done for this billboard... right?

Or, isn't feminism about equality after all?

noeone: I'm not sure if you're being serious or not, but assuming you are, the difference between the ad and the knifeblock is that violence against women is a widespread problem that is continually validated in our culture by "jokes" just like that ad. Jokes about killing your wife are dangerous because men do kill their wives, in fact most acts of violence committed against women are committed by their partners.
I still think the knifeblock is gruesome, but not for the same reasons the billboard is.

And ps- Hi everyone, finally got myself a TypeKey account!

I did a little impromptu survey with everyone in my office regarding this sign. All women (women that generally consider feminists to be "cold, flat, humorless bitches") and not one thought it was funny.

As feminism is for equality, I'm confident that you will have posted about the knifeblock somewhere on this site and expressed an equal distaste for it as you have done for this billboard... right?

noeone: You seem to be confused, let me clarify: Feminism is a movement whereas feministing.com is a blog. Feminism doesn’t choose the topics of the posts, the owners of the blog do. If you started your own blog, you could post about whatever you like. See how that works?

Yes, noeone, clearly the fact that the bloggers here haven't discussed that *particular* item means that they wholeheartedly approve of it.

If you were a regular reader of this blog you would have already sussed out the very feminist idea that most of the "battle of the sexes" bullshit in our popular culture does no favors to EITHER sex. But go on grinding that axe, buddy.

the knife block thing sounds disgusting and is yet another piece in the marketing matrix which seems to want to pit men and women against each other...there are so many ads and products like this that no blog could ever cover them all even if it were specifically dedicated to that alone. finding one or even 100 examples of things that haven't made it onto feministing proves nothing about the intentions or beliefs of those who post here.

I am definitely against the knifeblock. It is also offensive.

im so fucking tired of the whole "im a woman (black, jewish, etc) and i dont think this is offensive at all" bullshit. you kno what you not finding this offensive means? it means were so goddamn desensitized to hatred of the "other" that even if we are the other we instead identify with the dominant group spreading the hate becos we can no longer gauge our own reactions. like the way laughtracks on terrible sitcoms work, you find yourself laughing at shit that isnt remotely funny becos you hear that laughter and you react like youre supposed to. the point of commenting on things like this billboard or on those dancing singing mounted breasts that were posted awhile back is to look at things through the viewpoint of the "other" not the dominant group. yes, there are really fucking awful things happening in the world that make this billboard pale in comparison, but this billboard is a piece of the puzzle that contributes to all that other nasty shit going on.

id much rather be a sour humorless bitch than another fucking dead woman.

Whether you are offended or not is one's perogative. But, to be black and make a black joke, is not the same thing as being a CEO or random advertising "genius" making a domestic violence. Unless I guess it was a woman who was beaten making the joke?
Sorry I just don't see how this can be compared to a racey joke by someone in the same "ethnic" group.

It's in poor taste, and definitely not funny, not even because it is offensive, but just because hey it is not even funny. Sure there are bigger battles, but one need not enjoy this ad.

Also, do people who "love" ads really leave messages for the company? I doubt it.

Deb Goldstein! Are you by any chance my cousin? Four years older than me, daughter of my father's sister? And I missed your last visit because I was sick? Because that would be too cool to see on this site!

nope. sorry

Ah, well. It's not an uncommon name. Never mind!

my fave part of this article:

“One thing led to another and ... it was funny,” Nemi said. “I think if anyone should be offended, it’s Italian Americans, not women.

Ohh...so that makes it SO much better. I can say as an Italian American and as a woman (Italians do occasionally come in woman form, ya know) I'm offended.

noeone (or should I say Karl?),

Look at the responses you got. Might want to post those on antimisandry.com. Hardly what you expected, was it?

For the record, I think the knife block as it's being sold is disgusting. But as I explained on EF's website, the knife block was originally entitled "Voodoo," and I made what I think was a pretty good argument that it was originally intended to be a gender-neutral form.

But yes, the renaming is offensive and disgusting.

What more do you want?

Oh, and for the other readers here, here's how I know it's Karl. He goes by "Marx" as a play on his first name.

I just love how he hasn't bothered to update that thread to say that people here agreed with his assessment of the knife block. Why do some people want feminists to be man haters so badly? I know you can't take it personally but it just seems to out of touch with what I believe and what pretty much every other feminist I've ever talked to believes.

Doesn't all humour worth hearing risk offending someone? Not that this qualifies as humour worth hearing, it's weak, at best, but someone earlier made the point that it was probably "wife" as men would be more likely to buy concrete. Also possibly sexist, but I'd guess that's true. "Get the Boss new shoes for Christmas" wouldn't have raised anyones heckles here, but it's not like people killing co-workers is unprecedented, and equally, someone mentioned victims of abuse wouldn't find this funny, I agree, but once again, nor would anyone who had experienced the scenario I described. I think using words like brutal, sick and atrocity does lessen the impact when these words ARE required. But this is all just my opinion.

This is 100% disgusting. Whoever made that billboard should know that violence against women are higher at this time of year than at any other time of the year on average.

I wish I could burn that misogynist billboard down without being notified.

As someone who is both a feminist AND who has a sense of humor, I find this billboard to be disgusting and inexcusable. Does anyone have contact info for this company to complain?

Yeah this is really funny. In a park a few miles from my house, a husband shot his wife and 3 children, and then himself about 2 days ago. When I read about it I chuckled all night.

I love this blog, but I almost feel like we're getting offended by everything and anything. I'm not trying to invalidate anyone's feelings; however, I agree that image, to an extent, does matter.

I do agree with you on this. For instance, I may have been the only one here not offended at the latest Carl Jr.'s "small buns" ad. Bascially I have a pretty high threshhold for offensive humor, and do think it's important not to alienate your target audience when it comes to education.

However in this case I just see nasty red state rednecks who clearly don't get it (I also agree with others this would have been funny if the reference was a business partner).

Substitute "wife" with anyone of a particular racial or cultural background and see how well that goes over. Maybe in this instance, Kevin McCabe should have used, "does your Irish friend need a new pair of shoes?"

italian? check
woman? check
offended? check

any other stupid argument points? no...it isn't any more/less offensive...it is wrong any spin you put on it...

How about the following cheerful joke from www.flowgo.com? 50 ways to KILL your husband.

http://www.flowgo.com/funny/4477_50-ways-kill-your-husband.html

Well, elzoog, the linked video is awful, unfunny, and insulting to both sexes.

Late comment: Fighting fire with fire so the morons get it? (ahh, the eternal optimist)

Husband need a sleeping pill refill?

Smith & Wesson

Late comment: Fighting fire with fire so the morons get it? (ahh, the eternal optimist)

Husband need a sleeping pill refill?

Smith & Wesson

Which morons, Grumpus?

In case you were in any doubt, allow me to assure you that feminists did not write that Smith and Wesson advertisement.

You will find that the mass of people on this site do not find domestic violence funny, no matter who the perpetrators are. Clear enough?

On reread, I realize we're on the same side, Grumpus. Forgive me for jumping. Holiday hangover.

sgzax,

Not a problem. I tend to assume that my attempts at provocateurity are just abundantly clear to everyone.

I was not poking fun at domestic violence.

I was trying to provide a male equivalent to the billboard that all the lunkheads who read this board....

uhhh... never mind (error: P2C)

("Preaching 2 the Choir")