Ann, thank you, thank you, thank you. On Bust's board, there are several female health threads, and when poster's would complain of vulvar pain, and everyone else was telling her she might have herpes or chronic yeast infections, I would suggest she ask her doctor about vulvodynia. And then I was told that I was just trying to hijack threads for my specific cause.

There are so many women who read Feministing, and just posting a link to the NIH's article might be a huge step for spreading awareness...which hopefully will lead to better treatments. I'm still praying that switching from hormonal birth control to an IUD will be the answer for me. I've been on tricyclics for a year, and while they help, I'm still not pain-free. It's made my relationship with Mr. KMP stronger, as we've had to find other ways to be intimate when my pain is too much to have sex, but it's terribly isolating. I was told that I had recurrent yeast infections (my original doctor never took a culture!!!), and eventually I was tested for diabetes before I switched doctors.

Seeing this posted here gives me so much hope that soon there will be enough attention focused on vulvodynia that women won't have to suffer anymore.

she has a history of sleepwalking??? if anything that should be an argument that it WAS rape because YOU CANT CONSENT WHEN YOU'RE SLEEPWALKING!!!!!! it doesnt fucking count!!!

That Bee Movie article brought to mind that Barnyard movie (Don't remember the name of the movie, but it was about a bunch of barn animals)that came out a year or two ago. My boyfriend and I were sitting in the theater, and when the previews came on the screen we noticed that the male cow had an udder, and no horns, like male cows, or bulls, normally do. I found it pretty offensive. Gender aside, I think it's somewhat important that kids know the difference between a cow and a bull.

And to the Canadian dude who's pissed off that women are in all-male spaces...is he seriously implying that sports teams should remain a men's only space? I don't like that sports teams are segregated by gender, personally. The way some women's sports teams are funded reminds me of the famous Plessy vs. Ferguson
supreme court case that declared that african americans would have "seperate but equal" facilities from caucasions. My ass! Although I think it is important for men to have their own spaces, and for women to have their own spaces, I think first and foremost we have to work on healing this broken relationship that men and women between them as a whole. I don't remember who it was that said that there will never be real intimacy between men and women until there is gender equality, but whoever it was, was right on.

Just a warning: don't read the comments on the sports journalism article. They're pretty horrible. "Hur hur hur, but I likes the womenz sportz casturs to have duh big boobies dur dur!" Arseholes.

Carrying Taser guns seems very risky, but I'm not sure how prevalent that practice actually is. I get the feeling that the Fox article is meant to show that women are going crazy.

This is a bit of an aside, but I've always wondered whether or not carrying pepper spray is a good idea. I think I'd like to, but I'm worried it, too, could simply be used on me. I'm curious about how many feministing readers carry it.

I carry pepper spray.

Pepper spray can be mostly concealed in your hand in a way that doesn't signal to your attacker that he needs to protect himself. For me, this makes it a tool that I'm more likely to use effectively.

It seems to me that an attacker would definitely know that you had a taser and, in my case at any rate, it would be easier to get it out of my hands before I was able to use it.

There's this great video called "Women of Color Feminism". A must see!

re: Vulvodynia

Thanks for this link. Honestly, I never knew this existed!

Males-only clubs, once under political siege, are now extinct in our culture. So, it seems, is male pride.

Damn, but that is a dumbass statement. Me and 'the boys" (who number two at this point) can go out and drink and ogle and bond any time we want. Most of the time, our wives are WITH US. Nothing about their presence, or the presence of women in general, inhibits us in any way.

Of course, that may be because there are certain things that it doesn't occur to us to do, so we don't miss them. Things like maudlinly lamenting the injustices inflicted upon us poor guys by the broads, bitches, etc .

I feel a bit sorry for men whose "pride," which is a slippery concept anyway, is so fragile.

Many women will be better off just taking self-defense courses than trying to carry weapons, depending on where they live and how likely it is that an attacker will be armed, etc. I think I'd consider anything that could be easily wrenched from my hand before I got close enough to use it would be problematic-- but I don't have to carry a weapon where I am now, so I don't know firsthand.

And the article on the Southwest Airlines woman is bothersome. She could have taken the high road and MADE the company either list requirements for clothing of passengers (they have a right, but they need to clarify it ahead of time, and I guarantee you they would do no such thing because they would immediately start losing customers who didn't want to be treated like high schoolers), or take action against the attendant/etc, and made a statement about personal freedoms and so on.

Instead, she posed for Playboy and now no one will take her seriously on this issue because it makes her seem like a total and complete attention whore. Plus, it reinforces the stereotype that revealing clothes = slut (I'm not saying she's a slut, just that that's what people will think when they read this).

Though she should pose for all the men's magazine she wants, it makes me question her judgment and her motivations for making the whole thing public in the first place.

Basiorana, I totally agree with you.

I mean, yeah, in a perfect world she could pose for Playboy (or any other magazine) and still be able to "take the high road" as you say. But unfortunately, that's not how things work.

It's not fair at all, but that's just the way it is. It's like that law student who I think posed on Playboy TV and was suddenly shocked that it might affect her future career plans. I think her name was Adriana Dominguez?

Ah, Playboy. Destroyer of young lives everywhere!

i read a very interesting article from the national post this week, questionning whether all those breast cancer awareness by companies is legitimate or just a marketing tool. i couldn't find the same article online, so i linked from my blog.

http://katrinaholloway.livejournal.com/246571.html

Basiorana, I totally agree with you.

I mean, yeah, in a perfect world she could pose for Playboy (or any other magazine) and still be able to "take the high road" as you say. But unfortunately, that's not how things work.

It's not fair at all, but that's just the way it is. It's like that law student who I think posed on Playboy TV and was suddenly shocked that it might affect her future career plans. I think her name was Adriana Dominguez?

Ah, Playboy. Destroyer of young lives everywhere!

Sorry for the double post! Somehow Feministing is allergic to my Mac today. Hmm...

Anyhoo... Apparently Ms. Ebbert also wants to be an attorney and (like Dominguez) doesn't seem to get that posing nude may destroy your credibility.

WTF? Is this what happens when you grow up watching surrounded by Girls Gone Wild?

and concerning kissmypineapple's comment, i have VVS, and i've seen articles & mentions of it popping in the past few months, and i'm just so happy to see that finally this issue is getting attention.

and, in a more general way, hi, i'm new :) discovered this blog last week or so, i've been trying to catch up on the latest posts, i never knew such an interesting blog existed!

The drive for equality has undercut masculine values and pride

Oh, well boo hoo to you, Scott McKeen. As someone pointed out earlier, I'll echo that it's pretty pathetic if your "pride" is so bruised by women's equality. And not only that, but he goes on to say that "men can't just sit still, they need a car engine before they can talk." WTF? Dude, no one's telling you you and a bunch of your guy friends can't get together over a car engine. No one from the government is going to come in and force a women to sit next to you while you work. Have fun changing your oil.

As for the women who posed for Playboy, yes, it does undermine her argument, whether it should or not. It just makes it look like she was out for attention and money (not to mention that wasn't she a Hooter's waitress as well? I think I remember hearing that argument).

In contrast to how women's nudity is perceived, there was a NYC firefighter, Michael Biserta, who posed for the Calendar of Heroes and later it was found out that he'd done a Guys Gone Wild video. What happened to him? Was he fired? No. Was he asked to publicly apologize? Nope. The fire commissioner decided to end the calender. Wow. What punishment.

Yeah, I'm so sure that a sleepwalking woman consented to have sex with a homeless, schizophrenic man with HIV!!!! Arg!!!

I pray that she will escape further harm.

It is sad that we live in a society where the weak and incapacitated are preyed upon -- and in some cases even incapacitated so they can be preyed upon (e.g. date rape drugs.) I remember after the Tsunami reading about girls who were raped during the chaos of the storm. How crazy! How can a person even think about sex at a time like that? But rape isn't about sex, of course.

The Dyncorp thing --- ! I don't even know what to say. It's just so heinous.

I read an article about the SW woman posing for Playboy a few days ago, and all I thought was, good for her for making lemonade. Why not make a little cash? She isn't going to earn respect from the people already making fun of her no matter what she does, and she won't lose respect from those she loves, so why not?

I would hope no one on this blog condemns her, and I hope we don't just say, "If they don't take her seriously now, well, she should have known cause that is just the way it is!" That's no different, in my mind, from saying, "Why should we care if she got pregnant? She had sex, and sex leads to babies, that's just the way it is!" or "She shouldn't complain about not making as much money as a man, that's just the way it is!" The whole point of feminism is to make those changes for the better.

"I remember after the Tsunami reading about girls who were raped during the chaos of the storm. How crazy! How can a person even think about sex at a time like that?"

From what I heard it wasn't in the chaos of the storm itself but in the chaos of the refugee camps shortly afterwards.

Apparently some creeps feel entitled to sex even when they don't actually have consenting partners and think things like "she's not living with her father or husband anymore" are close enough to "she asked me to have sex with her"...

Too bad she was sleepwalking- the crazy homeless HIV positive rapist sounds like a great guy... and I'd love to meet his lawyer- a real sweetheart. WTF?? how is a medical condition responsible for her being raped? so because she sleepwalks, it's not his fault for jumping on top of her on the side of the highway? thank God I stay in bed when I sleep, but then it might be my fault if someone comes in and asks me to have sex and I say "yes" in my dreams.

As for the SW incident, I can't condemn her for posing for playboy.. a lot of women do, and should still be respected as women. But she's making herself famous for sex, and I don't think that's positive: for her or for women as a whole. I just want to know who was offended by her outfit and why the guy felt he had to disrespect her in that way. why aren't we focusing on that? her posing for playboy just brings more attention to her and less away from the situation.

The minnesota sex-ed documentary looks very interesting. I hope they can start shipping it soon- it would be a great resource for many schools, and not only those teaching sex-ed but many universities could benefit as well.

What's up with the DynCorp thing? The link you have says it's from 2002. Has there been a breakthrough in the case? Or am I missing something? (Just to clarify- I'm not saying it's not important because it's 5 years in the past, just wondering why it was in this week's Feminist Reader.)

What dissapoints me about the SW woman is that she doesn't strike me as much of a feminist. Good for her for making lemonade, I agree. But Playboy is the kind of magazine that teaches society to treat women like (sexual) objects. She (rightfully) stood up to SW airlines and pointed out that she's not an object to be controlled, but a person who shouldn't be treated otherwise because of her outfit... but in Playboy she's more than willing to be an object and judged for her body. Two different circumstances and I support her right to make them free of condemning judgement or harassment... but I don't feel I should have to be comfortable with it, and I'm not.

katrinaholloway - Save yourself while you can. This blog is so addictive that my friends and co-workers tease me about this site being my "feminist crack."

I carry pepper spray and have also taken two self-defense courses. I like that pepper spray works at a distance so if I have to I can blind a guy then kick him in the balls and etc. As far as it being used against me, I always figured that if a guy is close enough to wrestle it away from me then I am in pretty deep shit anyway, despite any self-defense techniques I may know.

"Two different circumstances and I support her right to make them free of condemning judgement or harassment... but I don't feel I should have to be comfortable with it, and I'm not."

Exactly. I think that posing for a magazine like Playboy, which in my opinion objectifies women, and standing up to a company that has been discriminatory are two very different things.

I guess you could call that "making lemonade." I call it "chasing dollar signs."

"I would hope no one on this blog condemns her, and I hope we don't just say, "If they don't take her seriously now, well, she should have known cause that is just the way it is!""

What's so wrong with saying that? That IS just the way it is. No one here (as far as I know) is trying to say that this woman is undeserving of respect.

And you are absolutely right--certainly REFUSING to pose for Playboy isn't going to guarantee her the respect of her nay-sayers.

But that's not what I'm trying to get at here. My point is just that it seems that many women today don't realize that buying into raunch culture by "going wild" on camera inevitably yields some future repercussions. For example, would any law firm in their right mind hire a first-year associate who had posed nude, female or male? I think not. And yet she seems to think that this will never be an issue.

Quite frankly, if you are using pepper spray on someone close enough to you to take it from you, you're all getting a good dose of it regardless of who discharges it.

Pepper spray, in close quarters, is bad. A tazer, with minimal training, is a very effective defensive tool, however. (Although, obviously, more training is always better)

Feliza Navidad, that may be the way things are, but isn't that sad? Why the hell shouldn't a law firm hire someone who posed nude? Will it make them a crappy lawyer? Does it make the person a bad person? Do you think this would even be an issue in Europe?

We don't know her, but my guess is this posing is going to help her pay for law school, which, when I last checked in, is really freaking expensive.

As feminists, we are not supposed to leave things "the way they are".

JenLovesPonies, it IS sad that a law firm won't hire someone who posed nude. It isn't fair, not by a long shot.

As feminists, I think our main task IS to question why things are "the way they are." But that doesn't exclude us from being pragmatic. Law is a male-dominated field where women are finally starting to make some headway as respected leaders. This means that often women still have a glass ceiling to break through that gets that much thicker if they have posed nude. Also, in our society, unfortunately posing nude creates some bias against a person.

Again, it's not fair and it's not right. I hope nobody thinks that I'm implying that.

Right now what I am asking is "isn't it sad?" that young women have grown up in such a raunch-saturated culture that making the choice to get nude seems to be so commonplace that they don't seem to think it might have repercussions.

Feliza Navidad: by phrasing your question as "any law firm in their right mind", you appear to be taking the side of the slut-shamers.

I would think that any law firm in their right mind would simply say, if someone pointed out that one of their lawyers had posed nude, "So what? It doesn't make him/her a bad lawyer."

RE: What have you been reading this week?:

Is the fight for gay marriage equality being prioritized over the fight against employment discrimination because of class-related issues? Are upper-class queers putting pressure on advocacy groups to prioritize marriage equality because they don't experience employment discrimination as much as poorer queers? Someone please prove me wrong.

http://www.dontboxus.blogspot.com/2007/11/lets-not-put-cart-before-horse-people.html

On Tasers and Pepper Spray "I'm worried it, too, could simply be used on me. I'm curious about how many feministing readers carry it."

I the mid 1970s I was raped and came very close to being murdered.

I started to carry a knife. I also studied martial arts.

Then the Hillside Stranglers started picking women up in my neighborhood and leaving their bodies down the hill from a friend.

About that time two men tried to drag me into a car. I had a large Ka-bar knife on my hip that I pulled. I swung my portfolio of photos at the man getting out of the car and pulled my knife.

It probably saved my life. I then helped my friend buy a gun.

I was part of self defense classes for women at the LA Women's Building and I saw women being taugh ineffectual bare handed self defense techniques that would get them killed.

It is a myth that a weapon you know how to use will be taken away from you, if you have committed yourself to use that weapon in self defense. Be that weapon a knife, a taser, pepper spray or a gun. Practice and commitment to defend yourself and mean it are necessary as is practice.

Any weapon at your disposal is better than no weapon at all.

I live in Texas, I am a left wing feminist and I am a gun owner. I shoot at a range on a regular basis. I carry pepper spray.

I said never again after I was raped and nearly murdered. Being able to protect myself is a feminist value.

It is a myth that a weapon you know how to use will be taken away from you, if you have committed yourself to use that weapon in self defense.

Yes. That's what's always bothered me about the idea that if you carry a weapon, it'll just be used against you. That idea seems to suppose that an unarmed man can overpower an armed woman, and I don't understand how that would work--isn't the point of being armed that one cannot be overpowered by someone who is unarmed? Obviously if I have only pepper spray and he has a gun, he can take the spray from me, but my major concern there would not be that he could use that spray on me. My major concern would be that, well, he would have a gun.

I stopped carrying pepper spray a couple years ago when someone on this board pointed out to me that using it would almost definitely trigger my asthma. I didn't see the point in carrying around a weapon that would incapacitate me if I tried to use it.

Regarding pepper spray - they sell wipes and solution that supposedly helps you clean it off you and out of your eyes better than just water or wiping. I think that carrying a few of those in your purse or glove compartment should help overcome some of the worry about getting it on yourself. I've never used them myself thought, but I did carry them when I carried pepper spray.

Thank you for posting the vulvodynia link! I've had chronic pain for the last five years, but was only recently diagnosed. I'm so happy that something is finally being done to raise awareness about this problem--I went to fourteen gynecologists before I found out that vulvar pain specialists exist. It's even harder to find someone to talk to about the problems it causes. Hopefully, this campaign will get the word out about this common problem. (And hi, I'm new... I made an account because I was so excited to see the NIH link :D)

The NY Times recently did a story about Elizabeth Wurtzel, the author of Prozac Nation, who is about to graduate from Yale Law. She had trouble finding a job because of her candid memoirs detailing her depression, cutting, sexual history, and substance abuse. But she found a job, here's the link, it's interesting: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/28/fashion/28wurtzel.html

I think it's gross that the SW woman is turning an act of discrimination into a chance to objectify herself. Playboy features fake, unattainable bodies and a fascination with prepubescent, shaved vaginas. She should walk nude to Southwest in protest...not really. I just think she had an opportunity to make a statement about sexism and stereotypes but instead she bought into the stereotype.

I think Arrested Development had the best satire with their Girls Gone Wild-esque series "Girls with Low Self-Esteem.:

"I think it's gross that the SW woman is turning an act of discrimination into a chance to objectify herself....I think Arrested Development had the best satire with their Girls Gone Wild-esque series "Girls with Low Self-Esteem."

sigh. listen, I'm a rad fem, and I am quite far from the position that porn= empowerfulment.

BUT, I am so sick and tired of people (men, women, feminists, etc) labeling sex workers as damaged, manipulative, money grubbing sell outs with low self esteem. (I mean, if that's not blaming the victim...) It isn't a far leap to then say that girls who fuck are desperate for male validation & have daddy issues.

The tone becomes quite mocking..."oh, the poor dear, isn't SAD and PATHETIC how much attention she needs?" "Well I heard that she used to be a HOOTERS waitress, so that explains it."

(Translation: I'm annoyed but not very surprised that such a slut/airhead would so sadly and predictably get naked just after all us noble feminists defended her)

Come on. We can do better than this.

As a sex-positive feminist, I support Kyla's decision to pose for Playboy. And I also agree that Kyla should be taking the lead in calling for Southwest to change its dress code. A man was nearly kicked off a Southwest Arilines flight for wearing a shirt that had "Master Baiter" on it during the summer. He had to change his shirt in front of 133 people.

The lawyer for a rapist should be ashamed of himself for trying to use the sleepwalking excuse to get his client off for aggravated rape. No one, male or female, can consent to sex while sleepwalking. If I was a judge and I heard someone say that sex was consensual because of sleepwalking, I would have immediately held that lawyer in contempt and convicted the accused of rape.

This is a story I read after the Kyla story, I found it on a related link:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21595196

How about this story:
Children at higher risk in nontraditional homes
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21838575/

It's very scary that the incidence of physical and sexual abuse of children is much higher in homes where they're not living with both biological (or adoptive, I assume) parents. As usual, some "authorities" immediately say that the solution is to force people to remain in unhappy marriages. I don't think that's a great way to reduce child abuse. What they don't mention, of course, is the feminist view: why not make it so that divorced women and single mothers are able to support their children on their own? I bet a lot of single mothers are forced to live with boyfriends because they can't afford to live on their own. They can't keep their jobs without the extra childcare provided by their boyfriends. How can we help them? The usual answers: better pay for women, better and more affordable childcare, better services for single mothers, better oversight by social workers over suspicious situations. Making it easier for single parents to collect child support would be an enormous help. It can be so difficult to get money from deadbeat parents, and often ends up requiring lawyers that many single parents can't afford. Also, as an added insult, a friend of mine who lives in Maryland told me that the state charges a fee once annual child support goes over $600. They can't get that money anywhere else, they have to take it from struggling single parents??

This is a serious problem that needs to be addressed. But forcing people to stay in bad marriages isn't the solution.

It is a myth that a weapon you know how to use will be taken away from you, if you have committed yourself to use that weapon in self defense.

The point is that you shouldn't have a weapon that you don't know how to use--most people get weapons and don't bother with any training, except maybe for one trip to the shooting range with a gun. That's why I don't think having a weapon is a good idea, unless you know how to use it. The second point is that you must be PREPARED to use it, and it's not as cut and dried as you might think. My father is retired NYPD, and he taught me that that you should only pick up and use a gun if you are prepared to kill. That a gun is not a defensive weapon, that it's an object with one purpose: to kill people. That you have to respect the weapon. If you thin