This is pretty upsetting to read. I worked at Hannaford for a long time and I was always pretty sensative to people with WIC or EBT cards but I know a lot of colleagues and other customers who weren't. It kills me the assumptions and judgements people make about ordinary families. And it was always pretty frustrating how complicated the state seems to make it. WIC is a great program, but the restrictions and red tape and beourocracy are ridiculous.

Ugh. Just ugh. Please keep us updated as to Safeway's response.

I distinctly remember the year I turned sixteen, as I spent most of the summer tending my mother. She'd been in a horrible accident, was paralyzed on one side, had pins in her ankle, and a rod later inserted into her arm. She couldn't work. We were on food stamps that summer; I remember how we would drive to the store and my mother, unable to walk more than a few steps, unable to care for herself, was so ashamed of being on government assistance that she was often unable to meet the eyes of the cashiers.

We only caught crap a few times, but I will never forget how those few incidents made my mother cry. We honestly and sincerely needed help, and those scumbags made my mother so ashamed of herself, it made me angry to see.

Has she sent this letter to the website Consumerist?
www.consumerist.com
This is exactly the kind of stuff they deal with, and they tend to get great results. The stores don't seem to want the bad publicity being on The Consumerist website generates.

How utterly infuriating and heartbreaking. My younger sister is also a full time student, pregnant, and was just approved for WIC. I hope that she does not endure such insenstive, judgmental, crass bullshit as this. I hope you get some justice, Deanna.

Those guys are working retail for Safeway, as if they can JUDGE.

You are not alone! Thank you for sharing your story. During my food stamp days, I went to a QFC, and didn't have a "QFC Advantage Card" because I was wary of my purchases being tracked. The cashier smugly said, "Maybe you wouldn't need to be on foodstamps if you got an Advantage Card." Any indication you are low income is taken as an invitation for smug bastards like that guy to treat you like trash. What a respectable way to puff up your ego.

That really, really sucks. As if people ENJOY being on WIC. As if they LIKE the fact that they need assistance.

My mom was on WIC when we (my brother and I) were little, and that was even with my mother working and my father in the military. I do not remember the hardship but the hardship mentality has stuck with her- she is very frugal (as am I, which I actually think is good!). She would drink KoolAid and pretend it was juice, and we kids would get the real juice.

No one has any right to treat someone that way. I have been a cashier and people on WIC are not the problem!
Inconsiderate people who hold up the line, put themselves before everyone else, write checks in the express lane, yell at you when their expired coupons don't work- those are the people who need a talking to- not a mother trying to feed her child.

The fact that she even put her groceries in order so as to be convenient to the cashier- I hope the cashier gets fired. I also second the consumerist.com suggestion.

I have never understood where this prejudice comes from. I work in a non-profit clinic that sees plenty of women and children everyday. The mothers don't resort to "being on the system" because they don't feel like working. Often they are working, their significant others are working, and end still don't meet. The stereotype that the poor are "lazy" or "inconvenient" blows my mind. Someone is making money because they are paying people less than what can be lived on. Deep down I think the people like this checker realize that all it would take is a lost job, medical emergency, or broken-down car to put them on food stamps as well. That is the line most Americans walk everyday.

"Those guys are working retail for Safeway, as if they can JUDGE."

For those of us who have or continue to work these types of jobs to support our familes or for whatever reason: OUCH.

agreed with asrai, that comment was just as judgmental /classist as the jerky Safeway employee's response to the WIC checks.

I don't understand why someone would be so rude just b/c the woman is using WIC.

I was a cashier for nearly 5 years and never gave anyone an attitude b/c of how they choose to pay (except for maybe those who JUST realized, as I scan their last item in the express lane, that oh! They need to write a freaking check!)

But ppl on WIC are trying to eat like anyone else. It's not as if I was so damn eager to check-out the person behind you. I'd rather take my time and hopefully they'll leave and I can take a 5 to get off my feet!

That is really unfortunate and disgusting. I'm sure some of that cashier's coworkers are on WIC or foodstamps, which you would think would make him a little bit more sensitive. You would think he'd know that you can work full-time, and work very hard, and still need additional assistance.
I used to be a cashier at a grocery store. We were explicitly told in training to treat customers who used WIC and foodstamps as courteously and politely as any other customer. I did, but I'm sure quite a few of my coworkers did not.

I'm interested as to the age of the checkout guy. I will shamefully admit that when I was a supermarket cashier from the ages of 15-17, the people with WIC checks did annoy me. I didn't know any better then, and it's incredibly embarrassing to think back on now. I don't know if I was openly rude, and I was never Ms. Pleasant to anybody, but I probably was not very nice, either (though I'm quite sure that I never did anything like this).

With that being said, and with taking responsibility for acting like a shitty person, I have to say that I was also a kid. I think that it is the management's responsibility to teach their cashiers -- very large percentages of which are teenagers, who are by and large selfish little pricks (myself former included) -- about the importance of making sure to never treat these customer's any differently. Of course, this should go without saying, but when you're stuck behind the register and something is going to make your job slightly more difficult, common sense can sometimes go out the window.

I also think that the system was designed for these types of embarrassments. As Deanna mentions, recipients get many checks. Each of them tend to only have a few items on them and on average there was at least 4 checks for each customer that came through. Each of those had to be rung up as separate transactions by law in order to process them. Also, my store had a rule where a manager had to come over every time someone had WIC checks. They had to make sure that all of the items the customer bought qualified (yet another embarrassing facet when they don't, because the rules are very strict). This wasn't an option, the register wouldn't process the transaction without a manager's key. Not only did this take time, it also drew extreme attention to the person using the checks when the manager took more than a few seconds to come over. Which was frequent.

I'm in no way defending this cashier. What I'm saying is that he needs to bear full responsibility for his actions, but he and people like him are incredibly far from being the only things wrong and humiliating about this system.

My brother used to be on food stamps, and I went grocery shopping with him once when he was staying with me. We got food, went to the cashier, she curtly informed us that they did not take food stamps (this was the Upper East Side of Manhattan, I was subletting my professor's apt. for the summer) so we left the food and started to leave the store. The manager stopped us and demanded we empty our pockets and then he searched my purse. Of course we hadn't stolen anything, but it was absolutely humiliating anyway. My brother has been through a lot of rough times and has no degree or steady income, so he was on food stamps at that point. That's why gov't assistance exists! So people can, ya know, EAT. This manager at the Food Emporium was beyond insulting.

I hate that because of this experience I dread ever having to be on food stamps (with student loans and a BFA in drama, it certainly seems possible). So many people are rude, judgmental, and well, assholes.

Cara, thank you for being so honest. We all make mistake and (hopefully) learn from them.

I can attest to the other cashier's story that the WIC checks are already embarrassing because the manager comes, then each check takes forever to fill out, and it's not the person's fault who is on WIC. They are simply not ABLE to make the transaction go faster.

I was a cashier at one of my first jobs and I can say that I can understand the extra hassle being somewhat annoying to someone making barely minimum wage, but that customers who were actually RUDE were much, much more of a hassle than a WIC check.

Ultimately,I understand where the cashier was coming from. I don't think he was thinking "How dare this woman be on WIC, how dare she try to support her family as best she can". I don't even really think this is a uniquely feminist issue. He was rude to her because she was going to take longer than the other customers. People treat me rude all the time for a variety of reasons, all of those undeserved, but I don't cry about it. If need be, I speak to a manager, I don't make a national case about it. Regardless of her personal situation, she was still making the cashier do more work. Even the "rude people who write checks and hold up the line etc" have circumstances of their own. Cashiers shouldnt be rude, but this is not a feminist issue. (waits for the outcry)

I can't say I'm very surprised by this. I work at legal aid in the government benefits unit and I hear a story like this at least once a week. About 2 years ago, CA switched from issuing cash aid (welfare) and food stamps through checks and actual stamps to using a debit card system (Electronic Benefit Transfer, or EBT). It was supposed to help deal with a lot of this, because you can pay with welfare dollars at a point of sale just by using the same machine that a credit card or debit card user would.

The good part of the new system is that it's a lot harder for the other people in line with you to tell that you are using welfare or food stamps. However, the cashier can still tell, and at places that don't have an automated system to screen for food stamp allowable purchases, the cashier still has to go through each of the items to make sure they're ok. Sadly, this seems to mean that consumers using welfare or food stamps to make purchases are getting the same flak from cashiers that they did before.

I agree with hopeisawakingdream above, that this is all based on the horrible misconception that people are poor because they are lazy or because they are morally bereft. I don't know what needs to be done to change this public perception - which would require us acknowledging that our supposed meritocracy has anything but a level playing field - but until it changes, the poor will always be treated like this. And people will always feel justified in treating them that way.

And you should wait for the outcry, dirtybug. First of all, someone has taken the time to share a particularly personal and difficult story with us and you're being incredibly insensitive to it. It's really quite gross. Secondly, as the wisdom that comes with age taught me, they're not "making the cashier do more work" -- they're trying to eat. And those are their options: use the checks, or don't eat. You make it sound like some kind of choice, and that she should feel guilty for eating.

And yeah, I think that the treatment of people using a program called Women, Infants and Children is somehow a feminist issue. Not to mention the fact that hugely disproportionate amounts of single mothers are on welfare. The treatment of low-income women is in fact a feminist issue, and she has every single right in the world to be upset.

But really, I spend way too much time responding to this kind of thing, so I'm going to restrain myself from here on out and only pay attention to the comments that are actually constructive.

@dirtybug:

WIC is a federal program uniquely aimed at women. (It's even in the name of the program.) The program is designed to give them access to food at places like Safeway. The procedure chosen to allow access is through these checks and signatures which inherently take longer for a cashier to process than any other form of payment. As you say, this results in negative treatment due to the extra administrative burden on the cashier. Who is affected by that negative burden? Uniquely, the WOMEN who receive this program. Thus, the construction of the program in a manner that uniquely affects women in a negative way is 100% a feminist issue.

Jeez.

What a horrible experience that must have been. Regardless of what that cashier thought, his role is customer service. I've seen this happen before, the most disheartening examples were fellow military friends of mine who got crap for using foodstamps. I wished just once my friend would have made an issue of it but the effect those kinds of comments can have on a person can be just shattering. I hope you find some sort of resolution working with the store.

Dirtybug, first of all, telling somebody who was humiliated and left in tears that they shouldn't "make a national case out of it" is really fucking rude. And you obviously knew it was, becuase you were aware there would be an outcry. So why was that necessary to say?

The reason this is an issue is because people who are on government assistance are made to feel bad about it at every step of the process. The system is set up to be humiliating. "Sure, you can have assistance, but only if you grovel for it and apologise for needing it at every step of the way".

"The good part of the new system is that it's a lot harder for the other people in line with you to tell that you are using welfare or food stamps."

Indeed.

I've never been on EBT/WIC/food stamps/etc. (which makes me more fortunate, not better, than some) and I still felt sorta-first-hand how those cards can be neat but have room for improvement.

See, sometimes when I swiped my debit card through the machine at a CVS I use a lot the thing assumed it was an EBT (after I selected the "debit" option!) and the cashier would have to reset some stuff so we could complete the transaction. No doubt the machine probably assumed "debit card" during some EBT purchases and similarly annoyed those customers too. However, it's been fixed in more recent years. :)

"Secondly, as the wisdom that comes with age taught me, they're not 'making the cashier do more work' -- they're trying to eat."

Besides, of course not every transaction takes the same amount of time, but buying one $1.00 item with a dollar bill is no more a virtue than needing change back, using WIC, redeeming several coupons during the purchase, considering oneself too elite to touch cash and using a platinum credit card, etc. ;)

I'm saddened by the cashier's response. My heart goes out to you. Feministing, please keep us updated on this situation?

This letter just made me cry. when we were kids, my family was on WIC - and the fact that we were able to eat pretty healthy food in a time when we couldn't afford to go to the doctor or get any kind of primary care did a lot to keep me and my family healthy. shame on those who think they know who people are based on how they pay for groceries.

"Those guys are working retail for Safeway, as if they can JUDGE."

Seriously, STFU. I work retail, and I make damn good money doing it. We need people to work retail, and we retail people deserve respect too.

Ahem.

On topic? Deanna, that really sucks. The bagger... depends on the store and how many customers there were at the time. I work for a grocery store, and we are perpetually understaffed. The baggers are taught to shift around- if there is a small order on the register they are at, they need to move to a bigger order, because our company won't give us the funds (and some of the baggers make too much money for us to afford) to staff each register. If you were shopping at my store, the bagger would almost certainly leave the register since most people getting WIC are only getting half a dozen items (unless there were just very few shoppers at the time).

Your cashier was clearly a jerk. Maybe its his training, maybe he is apathedic to the world, maybe he's just a snob, but he is a jerk.

I will say this about being a grocery store cashier- the thing that sucks about doing WIC is that because it takes so long to check the items to make sure they are the correct ones (if they aren't we have to send someone to get the right ones, or else the government doesn't give our store money for the purchase, and half the time the WIC customer is pissed off because he/she wants to get home and they don't care if they are ringing up 'cheese' or 'cheese food') and because the paperwork takes a little longer and it can be confusing on the computer, or at least it always was for me. The thing that sucks, though, is that it does take longer, and who gets mad at you? The other people in line, who want to be home twenty minutes ago and have attitude about retail workers and don't want to pay for their groceries when they could be already driving home and they hate the rising prices. They always direct any and all anger at the cashier, which isn't fair, but its an accurate picture of the grocery industry- five of ten of the things that make or break a grocery shopping trip have to do with the check out. It would be fantastic if they streamlined WIC as they have EBT food stamps in my state, but I think it is harder with WIC because the items are so specific whereas the EBT food stamps are for almost every item in the store classified by the government as "food" (which isn't all the food products in the store, interestingly enough). I can imagine that if the items were wrong, it would be like when an EBT customer thinks all the items they purchased count, and then we have to figure our what items didn't count as 'food' and either remove them or replace them- another long process. Unless the WIC customers get very good at picking out items, I don't know how easy it will be to streamline the process.

My mother was on WIC when I was younger because we had a foster child. I don't have many clear memories of it, but I remember even then that there were only very specific types of things we could buy.

I am also interested in how the company responds. My guess is, if they are anything like my store, they will send a gift certificate with a standardized letter.

I worked at super target last summer and I never treated people with WIC or EBT cards any differently from other costumers. The screen looked the same with EBT as it would a debit card so I never actually knew if someone was using an EBT card. The only time I ever was annoyed with someone using an EBT card was when this costumer used it to buy 12 cases of soda and then started screaming at me because the cost went over $1.30. The only reason I knew she was on food stamps was because she was like "Its food stamps!! and I only bought food so why should I have to pay!! Then her male companion just gave me the money. I was more annoyed at being yelled at than anything which is probably why I still remember it so well. I think part of the problem with the WIC checks is that the store actually gave you a speed score and if a costumer was too slow, you actually got in trouble. I never paid attention to my score though but some of my coworkers took it really seriously.

I recently started working for WIC and this story is really just very upsetting to me. What gets me most is that cashiers/managers/ others who antagonize WIC clients are essentially taking food out of children's mouths when inevitably some women decide that having more nutritious food is not worth all the shame.

Ah, Deanna, that flat-out sucks. I'm sorry. I am glad you are taking up the issue with Safeway. I can't help but think that there might be others who are being subjected to similar disservice there. Good for you for having the grit to speak up and not internalize it.

Oh and, yeah, it is possible to work your ass off and be poor. I recently found out I am eligible for food assistance because of the low pay for my new assignment teaching college classes.

I have the utmost respect for people who can get through school while parenting.

I don't understand why cashiers get so annoyed with women on WIC for the reason of it taking longer. When I was a cashier, I was trained to serve the person I was with until their transaction was through. If a line started to form, I was to call for another cashier. If another one wasn't available, I apologized and told the line that I would be with them as soon as possible. A customer is a customer regardless of how they are paying.
If I ever witness a cashier giving attitude to a woman on WIC, you can believe the manager will here about it.

MelKnee:Please note that I'm not defending the cashier. But there's a lot of people who don't understand why taking longer is bad. I'll explain it.

It's all about performance. Getting a WIC person (or any other complicated transaction) coming through your line slows things downs, and makes your "SPM"..Scans per minute (You think I'm making this up?) Go down. Your SPM goes down, you don't get that raise, maybe your hours get cut back...

Maybe you get fired.

Again, not that I'm defending the cashier, but that sort of behavior is the result of customer-antagonistic corporate policies in the name of efficiency.

What an asshole. I work at Target, so I understand being afraid of how the customers are going to react to having had to wait longer than usual,but this woman didn't have a choice in how she would pay for her groceries. It's not like she's paying with WIC to get her kicks. He sounds like a classist, but if his hang-up really had to do with the fact that he had a line forming, all he had to do was call for backup. If his store is hideously understaffed like the place where I work is, all he has to do is thank the other customers so much for being patient, and explain to them that you were having some "Technical difficulties."

If this kid (and I'm assuming he's a kid) doesn't want to help people, he shouldn't be in customer service. Or, if he has to work in a retail job of sorts, he should request to be put on the back stock team or the truck team, where interaction with people is limited.

Lame. This cashier clearly didn't do his job. As a CUSTOMER SERVICE representative, he should be courteous to every customer, regardless of how they pay, if they're rude, or any other circumstances. It's unfortunate that this is an issue. It's important to bring up the stigma that comes along with being on government assistance, but this particular case is one to speak to a manager about. Corporate has no way to check whether or not each 15 year old sophomore in high school they hire as a cashier is a tool or not. I'm glad that no one is calling for a boycott of Safeway... I feel that sometimes we attempt to use that tool too often and then fail miserably, making it even less of a threat than it was before.

Thank you so much for everyone’s support. I needed to see if it is a big enough issue and if sending a letter was the right thing to do. Everything that everyone has said has made me even more glad I sent the letter. I haven’t heard anything yet but I will keep everyone posted. Also to give a little more of a mental picture I would have to say the cashier is in his mid to late 40's in age. A little bit about me is I am a preschool teacher going to school for Registered Nursing while raising my four year old daughter and my 7 month old son. By all means I work my butt off for every Penny I earn and no matter what policies or requirements of any store are no one should be subjected to any type of humiliation. I understand how everything works in grocery stores with baggers rotating and so on but on this past Wednesday they were not at all understaffed. The line I was in only had me and my boyfriend behind me. I wish I could just paint a mental picture to everyone on how this man made me feel. Usually I am not the type of person that would go down without a fight but it was pretty heart wrenching and at that point I had felt ashamed to be on WIC and embarrassed. But I am not taking it anymore so thank you everyone who has helped see that this is an issue and doing something about it is the right thing! I am still going to except my WIC as long as it is available to me and when I do go to a store I am still going to be the same person that puts everything in order and be polite to work with every cashier I run into. I will not be ashamed of a program that’s buys formula for my son and milk and cheese for my daughter but I will be ashamed of people that are so close minded to it. Thank you so much
Deanna

Thank you, Karmakin. I have never had to work with SPM. I can understand that would add pressure to a cashier. It still doesn't excuse the crappy attitude of the cashier in the OP.

Slightly OT, but one thing I felt I should add:

Unfortunately, even if the cashier were forced to go on food assistance, there's no guarantee that his classist attitude (assuming that's the problem, and it sounds like it is) would lessen. I know several people who have been on welfare at one time in their lives, and though the bulk of them are understanding towards those poorer than themselves, some just say, "Yes, but I had good reasons for needing government assistance." As if most people don't!

"Your SPM goes down, you don't get that raise, maybe your hours get cut back"
HOLY CRAP.
Sorry for the language, but my job doesn't seem nearly so bad now. Our cashiers are not judged that way, so I guess maybe we are doing something right as far as customer service.

That said, I used WIC for a very long time, along with food stamps, and I never perceived any rudeness on the cashier's part towards me. And it seemed like the WIC checks in Oregon have everything on them so you only have to validate one overall check, but maybe I only used one at a time? I was able to use it at a small neighborhood store though and no manager was ever needed, even when I used one at Safeway. I'm really thankful, cause that sounds horrible. =(
And I may just be oblivious to people being assholes around me, I tend to make excuses for people.

ShifterCat, that never ceases to amaze me. I read somewhere recently that even ultra-conservatives want limited government for everyone but themselves. It's so true. My boyfriend is doing a volunteership with Americorps, and part of his living stipend is having food stamps. He always uses the self-checkout line now, and he used to get kind of testy when I did, b/c he said that using the self-checkout is going to result in fewer jobs. I can only conclude that someone made him feel shitty for using EBT, b/c he was so anti-self-checkout before. It's ridiculous. He works so fucking hard, and he's a good man, but someone thinks it's okay to be rude and judgemental b/c they think they know something about him based on his payment method.

I worked at a small food co-op when I was in high school. We didn't have a scanner; every purchase had to be manually entered into the cash register by typing the price and then hitting a button corresponding to the category of food the purchase was in. If a person wanted to pay by debit, credit, or Access card, we had to plug in the card swiper and wait for it to connect to the network. Thankfully, all this meant we weren't judged on swipes per minute or anything (though I wonder how many WIC customers you'd have to have to really lower your average). However, when I started working at this store, I assumed the food co-op would generally attract nice people who were making ethical choices about the type of food they bought. Nope--our customers were just as likely to be rude and mean and impatient.

If I had a customer who had to dig out their coupons, write a check, and decide whether they wanted a magazine or not (and these people always wait until I've rung up the entire transaction); if I had a customer who didn't bag (we had no baggers and put up little signs explaining this); if I had a customer who forgot an item and left me standing there while they went back into the store to search it out--I was the one people got mad at. I am in no way excusing this cashier, because he obviously didn't have a long line and he was seemingly reacting to the customer's WIC status rather than her "excessive" time, which she clearly tried to limit. I'm just responding to people who are blasting all cashiers.

By the way did they ever kick the anti-choice activists off of their parking lot in Aurora?

It does suck about some people's attitudes regardless of whether they are cashiers.

I'm glad the woman I support (she's disabled) has an EBT card, but since she uses it for only part of her groceries the person working the self-checkout area always has to ring up a new transaction. We do this once a month. The checkout person is always different, and has ALWAYS treated my client with respect. He or she has always thanked us for coming in, and is very pleasant to deal with.
Now, couple that with the fact that my client is black in a SUPER-white area of the midwest, plus she's got disabilities - and you've got a fantastic situation going.

Everyone in Wisconsin should shop at Woodman's. They deserve the praise.

Regardless of why this guy copped an attitude, it's ridiculous. Whether it was because Deanna had WIC or because WIC takes more time, it's his freaking J-O-B. He's getting paid by the hour, it doesn't matter how long one transaction takes or which types of payment are used. SPM is an aggregate number--one, two or ten WIC transactions won't make that much of a difference over the hundreds made over the space of a week or a month.
I've been on WIC, Food Stamps and Medicaid. When we had custody of our nephews for a year, we also got cash benefits for them. You KNOW these people when you run into them. They make it very clear, even without words, that they think you are dog shit for daring to be on assistance, using up "their tax money"--never mind that you have been (and still are!) paying taxes, and probably a higher % of your income than someone who makes more than you. YAY sales taxes!

Deanna, thanks for sharing your story. I'm usually not one to say something upbeat here, but technology is a good thing: Here in NY food stamp purchases are done by debit card, which cuts down on a lot of the shaming as people have said, and I haven't seen a WIC transaction in the supermarkets in years, so it too might be handled more discreetly. I'm thinking of my youth when a busybody would peer into a mom's wagon and sneer to a companion, "Look at all that junk food!" and "If she would buy generics she'd save money" and the like.

Cara, I had a cashier experience very similar to yours. I never treated anyone rudely on purpose, and I never consciously singled anyone out for differential treatment, but I wasn't exactly the type of person born for customer service (not good at smiling or smalltalk), and I did inwardly cringe every time I got a WIC check transaction. Not because I was judgmental of the people, but because I had to wait for our nasty manager every time, who could be quite condescending to everyone, WIC-users included.

And of course there were the impatient idiots in line who directed their anger toward me, as if I could do anything about it!

WIC users were cake though compared to the few *really* nasty old people (one lady cursed me out for several minutes as she opted to wait for less than ten cents in change, because I couldn't leave my station and had to wait for the also-nasty AND slow manager to bring me the change) and the old guy who came in at least once a day to hug/grope the youngest and prettiest cashier available.

I feel for cashiers AND WIC-users, obviously.

Since when is it any duty of mine to try to prevent the cashier from having to "do more work?" It's his/her JOB to ring up my groceries, and take whatever form of payment I have. They are not allowed to be pissy and rude just b/c a transaction takes a few extra seconds.

This seems like a typical checkout person. I rarely get a polite one.

The woman on WIC here seems a bit melodramatic. Discrimination is a horrible experience, but she should be proud that she's in school and raising her kids. She should not crying over one cashier's interaction with her. She's doing the right thing by writing the company, but she needs to grow a stronger backbone.

Um, it seems that she DOES have a backbone, Destra. She wrote an articulate letter to the company! And, there is nothing wrong with crying if you feel embarrassed or ashamed. I know I felt that way when I was on food stamps and other people were examining the contents of my cart, as if I was not allowed to buy organic produce or ice cream (only powdered milk and PB for you, poor person!). I got close to tears a few times too.

I’m with MelKnee and am glad we don’t have SPM scores where I work. At least, not that I know of…

I am a cashier myself. Although I don’t work in a store that sells food, per se (just candy) I will get folks who make multiple transactions (needing separate receipts and such) or want to teach their kids to make purchases on their own that get others behind them in a hissy.

I understand how delays like that can get cashiers annoyed, especially if you’ve got long lines of people glaring at you, but I figure you have to treat each customer as if they are the only person in the store while they are in front of you. I try to be as efficient as possible at the same time, but refuse to do anything less than the person in front of me requires.

Cashiers take a lot of abuse for things they have no control over as well as dealing with heaps of rude behavior. I’ll admit a few bad transactions can affect my mood, but I do try not to take it out on subsequent customers.

There is no excuse for the treatment Deanna got, though.

Deanna, my mom also went to school for registered nursing while raising us...in the early 80s...during terrible winters in the Upper Peninsula of MI...commuting 40 miles each way...collecting cans for gas money....you get the picture. :) Anyway, you have chosen quite possibly one of the most flexible fields for securing employment and choosing specialties. My mom had worked in obgyn, psychiatry, and finally dermatology (where she met my stepdad!).

I can't remember exactly what kind of assistance we had, but it wasn't much, since my dad was technically employed by the Cathoics but making shit (surprising I know). I do know she bartered something with one of her Native American friends so she could get some of her rations. We were the family with a block of Reagan cheese in the fridge (if you remember this, you are old). Our clothes came in garbage bags, and the free lunch tickets in elementary school were always more brightly colored than the full or reduced price ones (tho we eventually graduated to the latter). So yeah, we learned how to adapt to this kind of thing pretty early.

When I first moved to NYC as a student in '94, my mom suggested I go on food stamps. It had never occurred to me, so I went through their process and qualified. During their manadory educational class, they passed out a booklet of truly abysmal recipes (all brown food!). Despite my childhood I had still previously judged some people using food stamps when they were buying a bunch of crap and no vegetables. Though some of them were indeed abusing the system, a lot of them didn't know better, since NY state certainly wasn't helping with nutritional information.

For many years I did my time in customer service, and it's not at all pleasant having to deal with the public (therefore I am always your most polite and low maintenance cutomer). A day requiring interaction with strangers to make a living can be thoroughly draining. I'd expect that more people here would know this, and am actually really surprised to see a comment like this in this forum:

This cashier clearly didn't do his job. As a CUSTOMER SERVICE representative, he should be courteous to every customer, regardless of how they pay, if they're rude, or any other circumstances.

SouriezLaJoconde, are you fucking kidding me? He's not selling a Mercedes, or representing a Fortune 500 client. Why don't you stand in a supermarket cashier's shoes for a week and get back to me. I'd be really surprised if you've ever worked with the public.

What this cashier did was rotten, period. This isn't defense of his behavior by any means, but sometimes cashiers don't have all the information to make a complete picture (as I didn't before actually going through the food stamp process), have had a bad day, or whatever, and that extra bit of work they have to put into a transaction might me the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back on an already crappy day. He may have even friends on WIC and since he already knows them, it doesn't affect his view of their situation.

If this had happened to my mom back in that time period, she would have ripped him a new asshole, and another one after that. I was really hoping I'd read the same in this account, or that the boyfriend would have stepped in at the time it was happening (why didn't he?). Sometimes scathing sarcasm can help, as well as other ways to interact with someone who is blatantly snubbing you. You can actually turn the tables and have fun with this kind of situation...before going to the manager of course. I just don't care for stories that end with people crying because of how they were treated. If you realized it was happening at the time, be aware of this and do something.

Sometimes we freeze when something shocking happens (subway flashing, vulgar catcall, etc) but if the incident takes 5 minutes then it's worth at least trying to derail the perpetrator. If anything, it's really important for your kids to see you take control of a situation like this. This will help teach them not to accept inappropriate behavior; you want them to see you ass-kicking rather than wondering why you're crying. I learned a great deal watching my mom respond to potentially humiliating incidents when we were dirt poor.

I hope Safeway addresses this, and yeah I also second the consumerist.com suggestion. Keep in mind I'm not trying to blame the victim or the boyfriend, but a shitty grocery store transaction can be addressed at the time. Good luck!

What a jerk.

I don't care what's going on or how rude other customers would be/had been, I worked as a cashier in high school and I would never have treated anyone that way.

People who are noting that not all cashiers suck, and that the job is thankless is right, but there is no excuse for that kind of behavior.

In my experience, 99% of the time, the women I rang up on WIC were likely to order their items by coupon, have their stuff ready to go, etc., and it never took that long to get through. After doing a few WIC transactions you get a sense for what qualifies and what doesn't very quickly, and the checking of the items doesn't even take too long. Scan, cash out, scan, cash out, scan cash out. This is not rocket science. Even hunting for items to put onto the coupons in the 1% of tie when they didn't order their stuff was not that bad. Again, once you've seen a handful of them, you remember what to look for.

Anyway, that's my two cents as to why WIC is not as big a pain in the ass as everyone seems to think, and why crazy mean cashier man needs to suck it up and stop behaving like a spoiled toddler.

Doctress Julia: There's nothing wrong with crying when you're humiliated or embarrassed. I'm saying she should not be humiliated to such an extent by a complete stranger at a single occurrence. If this were a repeat event, which she did state it is not, then I could see how it would wear on you. But if a single person is a dick, this should not make you cry.

What's worse? She cried in front of her child. It sets a horrible example for your child if a stranger can reduce her mother to tears. She needs to work on stabalizing her feelings and her image of herself. What's that old saying by Ms. Roosevelt? No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

I'm glad she's writing this letter because I don't think a cashier should treat anyone as such, and I am also saying she overreacted to the situation.

Destra, how is it that you get to decide what is worthy of another person's tears? Some people get so pissed that instead of saying "hey, fuck you asshole" they cry. Its as simple as that. Its also kind of shitty for you to be saying that she is setting a horrible example for her child by showing emotion. I'm a mom and I would absolutely take it personally if someone told me I was a shitty example for my kid by being human. Deanna is obviously busting her ass day in and day out with a four year old and a 7 month old and work and school. She doesn't fucking deserve to be treated that way. If she wants to express her frustration with the situation by crying, let her.

Deanna, I'm so sorry that this happened to you. I probably would have cried in that situation as well, and I think that you letter was great! Just be sure to keep after the management so that the cashier gets disciplined (or fired).

Destra and Jane Minty, do you seriously have no compassion? She didn't say it was the only time that had happened. She said it was the only time it got that bad. And you're going to say she sets a shitty example for her children b/c someone humiliated her and she reacted in a very human way? Give her a break.

P.S. Jane Minty, customer service occurs at all levels of business, even if you aren't selling luxury cars. You are expected to treat people with basic human dignity while you're on the floor, regardless of your shitty mood. If my manager ever saw me treat a customer like that, I'd be lucky to have a job, and I'm just a lowly barista.

I got WIC from the time I became pregnant with my daughter untill the time she went off formula. Not only did I get the checks but I also got nutritional advice, breastfeeding support, and tips on how to make the food last. I was by no means poor, more solidly middle class, I didn't qualify for food stamps, but the WIC program has higher income limits, and I think if more people knew about them they would use WIC.

All that said I will tell you MY Safeway nightmare. It had to do with KIX cereal. The checks have very specific amounts on them, thus if you chose the wrong size box of cereal you cant get it on WIC. It was probably only my second time using the checks and I went to Safeway with my little envelop in hand. I picked out my WIC items and took them to the cashier. I had been advised by the WIC rep to buy only WIC items because the cashiers can be very rude about the time it takes to process the checks. So there I am at the register with a mean faced women in her 40's huffing at me over the checks. I was pregnant, embaressed, and near tears when she got to my box of KIX that was the wrong size. She said the most demeaning thing to me I had ever heard in my life... it was under her breath but I heard it just the same "Maybe if you'd waited untill after high school to have that baby you'd be able to read" I was apppalled I was 20, finishing my second year of college, and working full time at a good job. Granted I have always looked young, but to say something like that to me... I was heated. I loudly told her I was 20, and she shouldn't make assumptions... I started crying... She called her manager to tell him I was making a fuss over the WIC checks and blah blah blah... and the end of that story is I went to the Albertson's to use my WIC after that...

Later on in life I worked as a branch manager for one of those banks inside the safeway store, and I saw things like that happen on a regular basis. Safeway clerks actually make a good living and can be very snobby. I watched them be flat out nasty to people.

Oh and Destra... the hummiliation that comes with using WIC is bad enough... and most of the time the cashier hates you because of the hassle with the checks, so I know for a fact, that one little added hummilation can break a person... it happened to me and I am a pretty strong woman

This sounds awful! I'm working in customer service as well, and have been since I turned 18. I can't imagine treating someone so awfully, especially to their face, if I have a gripe (and oh, sometimes I really do) I wait till the store clears out, or go in the back to vent about it - it's no good to keep it in, but I would like to keep this job (rent, food, the little things).

If I ever see someone being hasseled for using WIC, you can bet I'll step in though.

And as a side note, a lot of Safeway employees hired recently (in the past 4-5 years maybe) are under a new contract, which limits their max pay to like $10-$12 dollars, and they can no longer get the "bagging at $20-an-hour" jobs. They're also pushing out as many of the higher-paid people as possible, for obvious reasons. Sucks to be in retail :P

but sometimes cashiers don't have all the information to make a complete picture (as I didn't before actually going through the food stamp process), have had a bad day, or whatever, and that extra bit of work they have to put into a transaction might me the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back on an already crappy day.

Actually, JaneMinty, I've had lots of customer service jobs for years, like most of the population. You're not the only one who has ever had to deal with people. With your comment about selling a Mercedes or serving Fortune 500 company owners you're insinuating that only the rich get customer service. But I've got news for you- the job description says you treat everyone well no matter what. I don't care if you've had a bad day, I expect you to be nice. THAT'S YOUR JOB. Believe me, I've had shitty days at work. Everyone has. If it's going to affect your performance either 1. hide it, like most people or 2. take the day off. No one should be treated like this unless they expect to be fired. It's not the best job in the world, but it's part of the job. If that's not your thing, which it isn't for some people, then get another job. Don't be a customer service representative if you can't give customer service. (NB: the "you" is the non-specific, plural "you".)

What's worse? She cried in front of her child. It sets a horrible example for your child if a stranger can reduce her mother to tears.

I see. So if you're a mother struggling to make ends meet with WIC, not only do you have to work, take care of your child, endure assholery from strangers, but somehow you're also expected to have inhuman control over your feelings at all times? God forbid Deanna's kid realize that her mother is a human being with genuine emotions. God forbid Deanna imply through her actions that crying is an OK response to painful situations.

You know what? Seeing one's parents cry is upsetting for children, but it can also be a vital part of the maturation process. It can help them realize that they're parents are human, not immortal superheroes, and it can help them actually develop their politics--I know someone who dates his political awareness and feminism back to seeing his mother cry at how badly a customer had treated her.

"their parents," not "they're parents." I've been reading too many student essays.

I worked as a cashier at a small town grocery store over the past three summers. Here in Michigan we have "Bridge Cards," which work like debit cards. There's a food and a cash portion, and if there's only enough for part of the order, we can take it off the card and then take cash/credit/check/debit to pay off the order.
Every now and then I would get people paying with the Bridge card and only with the Bridge card, and then we got to play the fun game of, 'what can we take off?' But I got paid by the hour, and never really minded, except for when the customers were rude to me while I tried to explain that food stamps doesn't cover certain things - like taxable grocery items (warm items from the deli/bakery) or even beer.
I hope I get the kind of (may I say, wonderful) customer service I provided next year when I plan on going on food stamps so I can eat during my year of student teaching.

No one is saying that crying is bad, and apparently some advice here has been misconstrued as not having compassion. If this is indeed a repeat occurrence, then you need to be prepared for it and know how to stick up for yourself. Exactly how is this a bad thing?

Yes, I DO think it sets a negative example to let yourself be humilated in front of the kids, especially if you suspect it might happen again (as opposed to a freak occurrence). When you're a poor child, it's embarrassing enough to deal with it firsthand but you're supposed to be able to look to your parents to be strong. Parents don't have to be perfect, but you have to develop what appears to be a tough veneer to at least give your kids reassurance that you will take care of the evil in the world.

SouriezLaJoconde, during my time in customer service, I've never had the luxury of taking the day off when customers get to me. Let me reiterate: no one here is defending this guy's actions, myself included. I think it's wonderful you were able to treat every single person with a smile, but not everyone can do this all the time. Come to think of it, the only customer service gig in which personality is the only part of the job description is a Wal Mart greeter...most other ones involve other tasks like ringing up, and keeping an exact cash drawer (especially with a manager breathing down your back). Like it or not, your sparking disposition isn't the only part of most jobs.

EG, I had ample opportunities to know my parents as human beings later on, when the time was right. I saw my dad treated horribly by the Catholic Church while growing up, and still hate to this day that he didn't tell them to fuck off years ago (as my mom wanted him to do). Subjecting young children to their parents' humiliation at too young an age is scarring, not particularly beneficial. That's why when you berate someone in public for assholery and their kid happens to be along, they are going to react more harshly than if they were alone.

I'd still like to know why the boyfriend didn't jump in.

"MelKnee:Please note that I'm not defending the cashier. But there's a lot of people who don't understand why taking longer is bad. I'll explain it.

"It's all about performance. Getting a WIC person (or any other complicated transaction) coming through your line slows things downs, and makes your 'SPM'..Scans per minute (You think I'm making this up?) Go down. Your SPM goes down, you don't get that raise, maybe your hours get cut back...

"Maybe you get fired."

...and maybe you end up on WIC yourself.

"ShifterCat, that never ceases to amaze me. I read somewhere recently that even ultra-conservatives want limited government for everyone but themselves."

Like when someone who claims "abortion should be illegal, unless the mother was raped or will die from the pregnancy" has a pregnancy that isn't about to kill her and wasn't from rape, aborts it on purpose, and keeps claiming that such abortions should be illegal...

Subjecting young children to their parents' humiliation at too young an age is scarring, not particularly beneficial.

Indeed. That's one of the many things that makes this clerk's behavior unacceptable. But berating Deanna for responding to humiliation by crying?

However, change that "is" to "can be." There isn't one right way to raise children. A young kid seeing his or her mom cry after an upsetting encounter isn't going to be traumatized for life, especially if the mother later talks to the kid about why she was crying. There are all kinds of ages and ways to learn to appreciate your parents as human beings. You didn't do it this way, you didn't do it at this age. That hardly means that Deanna's kid is going to be scarred for life!. The person I know wasn't.

Crying is not a bad thing. It is a perfectly respectable and normal way to signal emotional distress. Especially given that the boyfriend was there, so that the kid was not responsible for consoling Deanna, I really don't see what the big deal is.

"She said the most demeaning thing to me I had ever heard in my life... it was under her breath but I heard it just the same "Maybe if you'd waited untill after high school to have that baby you'd be able to read" I was apppalled I was 20, finishing my second year of college, and working full time at a good job. Granted I have always looked young, but to say something like that to me... I was heated. I loudly told her I was 20, and she shouldn't make assumptions... I started crying... She called her manager to tell him I was making a fuss over the WIC checks and blah blah blah... and the end of that story is I went to the Albertson's to use my WIC after that..."

That deserves a fucking punch to the crotch!

Yes, I DO think it sets a negative example to let yourself be humilated in front of the kids

Jane Minty, do you HAVE any kids? It's actually GREAT for your kids to see you cry, even if it means they learn that the way you treat someone is NOT OKAY if it makes that person cry. Geez. Why don't you burn your copy of "How to be the perfect parent" while you're ahead?

And how, exactly, did Deanna "let herself be humiliated"? Is that the same thing as "letting" yourself get raped? Or "letting" yourself be sexually harassed?

Your air of entitlement carries with it a quite offensive stench.

Also, to others who have written their lofty and smug advice here: It is not Deanna's moral or societal responsibility to make things easier for anyone but herself and her children. She has no obligation to pile her things up neatly so as not to offend anyone the cashier or anyone in line behind her. It is not Deanna's job to caretake to the point that she tries with all her might not to let the cashier have a bad day.

May none of you with all the answers ever need public assistance, and may you never be faced with a child-rearing situation where you don't do it perfectly (ha, ha! Like THAT's ever gonna happen!).

Must be nice to have all the answers for everyone else, from how to raise kids to how to earn a living to how to "grow a backbone."

"May none of you with all the answers ever need public assistance,"

Good point.

"and may you never be faced with a child-rearing situation where you don't do it perfectly (ha, ha! Like THAT's ever gonna happen!)."

Actually, never being faced with such a child-rearing situation *does* happen to a lot of people out there.

Think about it: not *everyone* who tries to avoid having children fails and ends up stuck with custody of an unwanted child after an unwanted pregnancy...

Well, you know, Hattie. It's mommy-blaming--if you're a genuine human being with emotions and you don't do everything perfectly all the time (leaving aside the fact that I feel as you do that there is nothing terrible about crying in front of your kids once in a while) your children will be scarred for life.

As to "letting yourself be humiliated"...yeah. That's why I've always hated that Roosevelt quotation. I knew from a very early age--i.e. when other kids were making fun of me in gym class and some lame 5th-grade teacher trotted out that crap--that it was nonsense. You'd have to be sociopath to be utterly unaffected by cruelty.

"As to 'letting yourself be humiliated'...yeah. That's why I've always hated that Roosevelt quotation. I knew from a very early age--i.e. when other kids were making fun of me in gym class and some lame 5th-grade teacher trotted out that crap--that it was nonsense. You'd have to be sociopath to be utterly unaffected by cruelty."

I totally agree. That kind of attitude seems to let bullies off the hook. For example, if I punch you in the face and you don't enjoy it, then would that be your fault or mine...?

Yes, Mina, it's a given that if you don't ever have children you'll never be faced with ANY child-rearing situation.

I am not sure I get your point.

"Yes, Mina, it's a given that if you don't ever have children you'll never be faced with ANY child-rearing situation.

"I am not sure I get your point."

I was responding to the part of your post which included "ha, ha! Like THAT's ever gonna happen!" and remembered that yes, it could very well be gonna happen. ;)

So instead of going to the store manager who might have been able to actually do something about this employee, she writes a deliberately vague accusation to the corporate office (without providing the store location beyond “California� or the employee’s name off his tag) while sending at least one other copy of said letter to a political blog. Curious.

To clarify: I am not questioning if this event occurred. I am just curious as to this point of attack.

Ah, Noname, I don't think she's seeking to get that particular cashier in trouble, but wanting a change in ATTITUDE amongst those the company hires. Which will be done by some administrative punishment to that single employee, but by copmany wide insistance.

when I worked at publix they told us we must not treat those using food stamps, ebt, or WIC differently than another customers. I was so very fortunate to not even know what wic and ebt was, so to treat anyone differently based on payment process was a no-brainer to me.

However, people who pick food out of their mouths and then wanted to borrow my pen to write a check--well.

I meant,
"Which will NOT be accomplished by some administrative punishment to that single employee, but by copmany wide insistance."

It seems like a lot of people in this thread are forgetting that cashiers are humans too (and that the majority of retail salespeople are women!). I certainly think that there are times where it's acceptable for a cashier, or anyone who has to deal with customers on a regular basis, to treat them badly, just as I don't think that we should have to keep smiling and being nice to everyone who is a jerk to us; there is a point at which a person's behavior can be so unacceptable that we don't have to be nice or civil to them anymore. Plus, I recall reading about a study that said retail salespeople had higher incidences of mental illnesses that was possibly caused by their need to constantly stuff down their feelings. And I know from my own experience that some customers are just major assholes.

However, (if it even needs to be said) it's only the major assholes that deserve to be treated with such contempt, not someone who is not only trying to feed their family but also has everything arranged to make it easier for the cashier in the first place.

She has no obligation to pile her things up neatly so as not to offend anyone the cashier or anyone in line behind her.

No, that's just called being polite! (Which she was). Things would go much more smoothly in general if people thought about others for half of a second (i.e. take your shit out of your basket instead of just putting the basket on the conveyor belt).

I already expressed what a thoughtless and indecent human being the cashier was and how this woman was completely in the right. This post in particular is about just being courteous to others. Someone has a stick of gum and you have 20 things? Let them go first!
Sorry it's a little off-topic, but that comment kind of irritated me. Service people aren't servANTS. They can be helped out a bit, and I don't agree with what some people say that they should be nice to people who are mean to them. In THIS case, it was unacceptable, but I've had some jerks come through my line who I have told that I hope their day gets better!

Actually, noname, complaining to the manager is one of the least effective methods of recourse in a situation like this. Managers receive all sorts of complaints all the time, and have less vested in seeing that those complaints are resolved. Contacting higher-ups is pretty much a necessity if you want to elicit any change in company behavior or policy.

Jane Minty, do you HAVE any kids?

I'm sorry, I assumed I'd never have to hear this question in this kind of forum? Such an inquiry is counterproductive - have we really reverted to judging women based on their reproductive choices? No, I don't have kids. Yes, I was once a kid, so my opinion is just as valid as yours. Enough with the "you'll never understand and why do you hate mommies!" crap, this is about tackling a bad situation head on. My mom was my closest friend until she passed away last year, and her legendary approach to conflict will continue to live on in my family. To imply I have no respect for motherhood is absolutely ridiculous.

No where did I berate anyone for anything. Please find the quote and paste. I merely made a suggestion that used to work nicely when my mom was faced with such a situation.

When my single mom friend was also placed in this position, she too felt that calling someone out immediately was preferable to stewing...I saw her cry many times, but she kept a brave face in front of her kids. Kids DO need that kind of stability and protection early on. Stating this doesn't make me insensitive, cruel, or any other adjectives people care to throw my way. No I don't think a child would be "scarred for life" if he or she saw mom or dad crying due to someone's ill treatment, but if it's an ongoing thing, it might not be the most positive example.

Sometimes an unpleasant incident will take place out of nowhere, and you're not prepared to deal with it at the moment. As menioned earlier, this seemed to be an ongoing situation, so maybe there was an indication that it would happen again. Maybe not, which is why she wasn't prepared? Not sure about this...however, I'm thinking that calling him out on his rotten behavior (and YES, humiliate him back!) at the moment it happened might have made him think twice before doing it again. I wonder how many other WIC recipients he treated like shit afterwards? Perhaps saying something at the time might have prevented other incidents that day?

It would be great if the chains implemented some kind of sensitivity programs, but this kind of thing is going to happen unfortunately. Luckily this is the kind of situation that (hopefully) won't leave you physically injured, or completely traumatized. In the meantime women can speak up and defend themselves during such an incident. Use your imagination by dispensing biting sarcasm, kill 'em with kindness, give the evil eye, or just be straight with the offender. You'd be surprised how people will back down and maybe reconsider their behavior.

Tinfoil, clearly you didn't read my posts; I have been on public assistance before, both as a child and an adult. As far as the "offensive stench" emitted by my "air of entitlement," I think this is often confused with the manure one smells when sitting atop a high horse.

Thanks to others for reminding everyone that cashiers are also human. A few of them (like the man in question) are downright nasty, but they're not your doormats. It's a good thing to pile groceries neatly on the belt, not scream at your barista that your cap isn't dry enough, or realize that the person behind the window in the bank isn't responsible for the long line.

gitan312 - Contacting the manager might not work, but at least at that point you would have the name of the employee and the name of the manager. Send this information (and the store location) to corporate and maybe to a third party (with names redacted) willing to apply pressure, and you might actually get somewhere.

"Actually, noname, complaining to the manager is one of the least effective methods of recourse in a situation like this. Managers receive all sorts of complaints all the time, and have less vested in seeing that those complaints are resolved. Contacting higher-ups is pretty much a necessity if you want to elicit any change in company behavior or policy."

How about both? Write to the manager, and cc: a copy to the manager's manager (so the manager will know her or his boss will see the complaint too!).

Jane--
I'm glad that you had such a great role model to teach you how to deal with these situations. It just really bothers me when people equate crying with weakness. Are there other ways to teach children not to put up with bullshit? So Deanna's kids see her crying after being treated badly instead of "kicking ass"...but then they see her writing a letter to complain about how she was treated--another perfectly valid way to deal with a situation like this. Not everyone does the in-your-face confrontational thing well.

I'm a bit late in posting this, but I wanted to let you know that you're not alone; I am a married mother of two and we live of one income and because of this we use WIC checks to help us make it through the week. Several times I feel like I have been treated rudely by employees when using WIC checks. One did the same thing the checker in the letter described, he stared at me silently and when I didn't say anything he held out a hand and barked "Checks!".

I think it's worth noting that my husband has done our WIC shopping several times and has never felt that he has been treated differently for it. It could be luck, but I wonder if people think a man using public assistance must REALLY need it, whereas us women are obviously just lazy breeders trying to support our children on taxpayer's money.

I don't know what to say about this. It's like everywhere someone turns trying to get help from these government programs they make a huge deal about it. Applying is a pain, using the checks is a pain, then you have the people that look at you like you are abusing the system and at the same time would probably claim that women should stay at home and take care of their children. Anyone else remember when if you didn't have the last few bucks for your groceries, that someone would just let it slide? Or when friends and family would just come to your house with food if they knew you didn't have any? What has happened to people in this country?

"Anyone else remember when if you didn't have the last few bucks for your groceries, that someone would just let it slide?" - dhsredhead

When was that?

"I think it's worth noting that my husband has done our WIC shopping several times and has never felt that he has been treated differently for it. It could be luck, but I wonder if people think a man using public assistance must REALLY need it, whereas us women are obviously just lazy breeders trying to support our children on taxpayer's money."

Unfortunately, I wouldn't be surprised. Meanwhile, I wonder if any clerk has given him "hey, it's not MIC" attitude.

My family was on welfare growing up and I can totally relate to the embarrassment and the feeling that you're somehow unworthy or undeserving (to eat for christ's sake!!!) It's messed up that society is totally cool with tax cuts for businesses and people who don't need them but they look down on those who are trying to take care of their children.

On the subject of food stamps and EBT cards, my (scumbag) dad used to make us kids go to the store to buy candy so he could get the change back from the food stamp dollar (for example, you get a tootsie roll for 10c pay with a food stamp dollar and get 90c back)so he could buy alcohol and cigarettes with the combined change. But with the EBT cards you can't do that. Not that I'm saying anyone else on assistance is somehow undeserving or doing this but even if they wanted to they can't with the EBT so at least the money on the card is going to actual food.

Cara and the others, you OBVIOUSLY MISSED MY POINT. I am not insensitive to her plight, I am simply suggesting that rude cashiers are not just rude to women on this program, but EVERYONE who makes them wait or take longer. Maybe they should be less rude to people on food stamps, or older people who have more trouble gathering their things together due to arthritis. The issue is rude cashiers, who should, theoretically, never be rude. The WIC system and the way that it works is something that is worth discussing, but to make this particular instance of cashier misconduct (given the fact that we dont even know if he knew WIC had anything to do with women or as anything beyond a type of system that makes him do more work) into a a feminist issue is laughable. The reason this shouldn't be a national case? A cashier treating someone rudely for any number of reasons happens daily. We don't know his motivations so there's no point in being irresponsible in proclaiming it to be a situation unique to WIC. Glad she wrote a letter, sorry this detracts from issues that actually do showcase womens' struggles.

EBT cards can't be used for cigarettes or alcohol, but they are still able to purchase "junk food" and pop. I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing - everyone deserves some oreos every now and then, right? But it also pays for the deposit on the pop cans (10 cents in Michigan).

whats funny to me is that i used to be a cashier at a "giants food stores" in Hershey Pennsylvania...and i looooovveedd the WIC customers.....not cuz they were on wic obviously but because it offered such a change of pace to the regular people....it was a chance to slow down in an industry that reward you for speeding up and developing wrist problems...lol anyway im rambling...its f* up that someone can be treated this way....even with the really mean mommy that was upset with me one day because the cheese that she usually was able to get wasnt processing and shehad to change cheeses....she was seriously about to slug me

I worked as a cashier for almost a year and a half at one of the worst supermarkets in my area, so I can understand a little bit of where a cashier may be inclined to act like an a$$hat. The store I worked at, besides having the "fresh" food in the area and being the filthiest store around, also treated its customers and employees like absolute trash. I knew coworkers who, because of the manager's attitudes towards allowing bathroom breaks, were subject to frequent UTIs. On many occasions, workers who were sick - hacking, coughing, and generally miserable - were forced to come to work lest the front end be "short." We were barely paid minimum wage, despite the union, I might add, and were frequently overworked, consistently yelled at by managers and customers alike, so it may be a little more understandable why people who are generally unsuited to customer service jobs anyway may lash out at completely undeserving customers.
With that said, I absolutely don't condone any cashier reducing a customer to tears, regardless of whatever the customer has done - even if the customer was the nastiest person to ever grace the supermarkets doors, they still should not be treated as such. In such a case where the customer is so blameless, the blame falls not only on the cashier, who should probably be kept away from people to begin with, but also with the management and whatever policies are in practice at the store, to let any rudeness towards a customer be tolerated. Whether the rudeness came from the cashier's elitist attitude or from the way management had been treating him that day, it is still the responsibility of the store to ensure that EVERY customer receive the same level of respect and consideration - either by relocating the ill-mannered individual, or by treating their employees less like crap so they don't lash out at customers.

ooops, i meant to say it had the "worst 'fresh' food in the area."

Er, is anyone else having trouble accessing more than the first two paragraphs? I click on "continue reading," and nothing happens... :( Help?