Is that a man's shirt or a woman's shirt? If it's a woman's shirt, it's still not right, but it is less scary, given that males have a near-monopolopy on serious violence in America.

What I find more creepy than the actual message is that it is written in blood-red and in a slasher-esque sort of font.

What pisses me off about it as much as the entire message is this 'love' in single quotes crap - as in, you don't think so? Deal with it because it is my definition...

Although I've certainly known young men who fell victim to rather stalkerific women in high school. :\ It's really just not funny.

Article sez:
"So when she saw the T-shirts, clearly aimed for the teen-younger adult set, she didn't see the humor."

So - where's the sexism? Thank God for feministing, or else I wouldn't know what to pigeonhole men as next!

Give me a fucking break. Jessica, you're losing your edge; simply because a woman reacts to it does not mean the shirt was aimed at women. Shocking, I know.

Watch out everyone! Joe's knee just jerked super hard!
WTF are you even talking about, man?

The image shown here and in the linked article is quite clearly that of a man's shirt. Therefore the message is intended for men to display. Unless you think they're targetting homosexual men with this one, the message is then intended to be displayed by men towards women.

Does that clear it up for you, Joe, or are you still confused?

Joe, what you call assault, I call me kicking your ass for being an idiot.

If you honestly don't see the problem with this, I don't know what to tell you.

Somehow, making "humor" out of the plight of women is just not funny ...nor is it cute. I'll bet Nicole Brown's family finds it real funny, huh?

On the other hand, I find my "I (heart) pro-choice girls" and "This is what a violent feminist looks like" quite amusing.

It's a men's shirt, I believe. And Joe, maybe I have lost my "edge," because I have no fucking clue what you're trying to say. Do we have a troll-translator in the house?

Is there any indication here that an identical women's shirt is not produced and stocked?

I'm not inclined to disagree that the message is offensive; stalking isn't a laughing matter, sexism aside. That being said, that the particular shirt which caused the reaction was a men's shirt doesn't mean that they only produce it in "men's sizes", so I'd like to know that there isn't an identical message in "women's sizes" before I go lighting up an extra torch.

Granted, I didn't RTFA, so if I missed something, by all means, light me up.

As someone who has been stalked by an ex, no, it's definitely not funny.

What Joe says is wit, I say is idiocy. Or, Joe calls it outrage, I call it just plain confusing.

I feel silly after that quite ...mean response now. But I suppose this is another reason to not shop at Wal-Mart, aside from all their shady and questionable practices regarding women workers from Global South nations.

I'm with you, Jem-the first thing I thought is 'why does it appear to have been written in blood?'

This is a different typepad account, because feministing started modding my comments - obviously, censorship is a feminist ideal.

So anyways -

ProFeministMale - unless you really, really want to believe that stalking solely affects women - your argument falls apart. "Women's plight?" I'm sorry for telling you this, but - men get stalked too.

Jessica - "It's a men's shirt, I believe." Oh, thanks! Silly me for wanting proof. Seriously? Usually your an opponent of belief - of the belief of what fetuses are, of what a "family" is, of what a women's role is in society - and usually I agree with you. But you "believe" it's a men's shirt? Does that make it true? You know the answer.

Cara - what? Backing up my claims by reading the article? Sorry.

My female neighbor owns a shirt with that phrase. It's not the same design though. I've always thought it was a bit creepy, regardless of who wears it.

FYI Joe: We discuss domestic violence in general, not just violence towards women.

Joe, I doubt you're not being modded for your ideas. Rather, you're being modded for how you're expressing them.

You ramble incoherently, sarcastically and with venom. You leap to the attack at every opportunity.

Also, you do things that blatantly attempt to circumvent the site administrators' content moderation, which isn't going to get you anything but more hate. I guess that won't make a lot of sense to you, but whatevs.

Joe, didja notice anything tittie-shaped disfiguring the front of the shirt in the picture? No? That's because it's a men's shirt. Women's shirts are shown on mannequins that have breasts.

Wow, I messed that you. Joe, I doubt you're being modded for your ideas.

Whoops.

My argument doesn't fall apart when the majority of the stalking is done by men, and negatively affect women. So, stop your "oh, we men have it so bad" bitching for someone else, because I am not on your side on this.

It doesn't matter whether the shirt was made for men or women, the fact is to make light of such a situation just isn't appropriate. Add that to the fact that most victims of stalking are women, I'd say this is a pretty gendered shirt.

What would you say to this shirt: "9/11 -- what you call a tragic day, I call a day with real news!"?

Regardless of which gender this shirt's intended for (and come on, that shirt is obviously a man's shirt - look at it's cut), can't you admit that it's tasteless and frightening, Joe? God. Like you can't muster up the outrage if it's something that affects women.

The shirt does not appear to be gender specific.

At the very least it is a 'unisex' shirt, but it is probably a men's shirt.

But hey, Joe's onto something here girls! Because you know a woman president is so offensive, while stocking women is fucking hilarious. Ugh.

Just another thing to add to the list of why I hate Walmart.

At the risk of incurring Joe's wrath, OK, I googled it and, yes, I find that lovely slogan also appears on women's shirts - big deal:

http://www.cafepress.com/buy/stalks

OK, Joe, of course stalking is wrong no matter what, but it's a real problem for women and not a major one for men because more men are stalkers, more women are physically hurt by stalkers, and a lot of women live in fear of stalkers while few men do. Can we just leave it at that?

The joke promotes the selfsame wrong-headed notions about "romance" that promote stalking to begin with.

And yeah, the bloody lettering makes it extra threatening and creepy.

Joe, you're being moderated because I went through your past comments and noticed that you violated quite a bit. I love when trolls cry censorship. Please.

The shirt isn't misogynist, it's laughing at psychopathy. Saying something deeply inappropriate is funny because it's ironic: you create stimulation by saying something strange, then you create relief when people realize you aren't serious, then they laugh.

I typed "shirts" into Google, clicked the first link, and found these jokes written on T-shirts:
"If you can read this, you are in my Roundhouse Kick Range"
"Meat is Murder. Tasty, Tasty Murder" (written in blood)*
"Come to the dark side - we have cookies"
"If life hands you lemons, squirt them in people's eyes!" (with a picture of a little girl squirting a lemon).

None of these shirts are actually promoting the violence they seem to endorse. That makes them ironic, which makes them (allegedly) funny.

Geez, no wonder feminists have a reputation for humorlessness.

*The meat shirt may promote meat-eating, but it doesn't promote murder. Indeed, like the cookie shirt, it laughs at the psychopathic idea that great taste would be a justification for evil.

OK, Joe, of course stalking is wrong no matter what, but it's a real problem for women and not a major one for men because more men are stalkers, more women are physically hurt by stalkers, and a lot of women live in fear of stalkers while few men do. Can we just leave it at that?

I'll agree that stalking is more of a problem for women, but:

According to the United States National Center for Victims of Crime, one out of every 12 women and one out of every 45 men will be stalked during their lifetime.

I'd say one out of 45 is still a major, real problem.

I just emailed a comment to Wal-mart & saw something that made me laugh. After the email was sent (through their website), there was a link that would lead me back to the Wal-mart home page, or... feminisiting.com! I'm sure this is because I clicked on the link here to get to their site. Might be the first time Wal-mart has ever linked to a feminist website & I have to say I loved the irony.

Hey Ashley (real name: Steve), if you can't come up with an argument other than feminists are humorless (are you going to say we burn our bras too?) then I suggest you go back to anti-feminism school. Seriously, that's just pathetic.

And no offense, but when I think ironic fashion, I don't think Wal-Mart.

Lucky for me, l.e.lyons, Ashley here has come to teach us the meaning of the word "irony," so I now understand your comment about WalMart!

The shirt is lame whether it's for men or women. But I do always appreciate when people telegraph their assholish-ness by wearing shit like this. Makes it easier for me to not associate with them to begin with.

Hahaha, is Ashley's name really Steve? I wonder what Jessica's discovered behind the scenes.

AshleySteve also needs to learn the definition of irony: the use of words to convey a meaning that is the opposite of its literal meaning.

None of the examples cited by SteveAshley, including the original shirt, fit the definition of irony.

Ms. Pitt, I don't know if you're aware what CafePress is. It's a place where anyone can set up a shop to sell their logos and designs. I have several myself. If you've seen the stalking shirt in a woman's style on CafePress, that has no connection to Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart doesn't sell CafePress items, and CafePress doesn't sell Wal-Mart items. Which isn't to say that it's not still disgusting (it is). But since the original article was about what Wal-Mart is selling...

So Joe, you're saying that it's ok to stalk men? How about kids? Your mother? Son or daughter? So even if you don't see it based at women you still don't have a problem with it? Good to know you're fine with people staring at you through your bushes as you pee, change clothes, or go about your daily habit. Personally, I find it offensive whether it be aimed at you or or girlfriend. Glad to know you don't mind being a piece of meat.

Mac The Libertarian says: "According to the United States National Center for Victims of Crime, one out of every 12 women and one out of every 45 men will be stalked during their lifetime.

"I'd say one out of 45 is still a major, real problem."

It is a problem, for certain. And I'm not going to jump down your throat with sarcasm and indignation. But your comment goes to a wider issue that I really think needs to be addressed.

I don't hear you saying this is not a problem for women. I think you hear us saying men have no problems. We don't say that. It's all a matter of proportion. Women are much, much more susceptible to being seriously hurt by the men in their lives than the other way around. We're not here to attack the good guys. We need your help. We need men to become aware of the violence that some men perpetrate. You're not a perpetrator, I would guess, so when we talk about "men" doing these things, you become indignant. Well, instead of becoming indignant, could we please solicit your help? This is a real problem that hangs over our heads on a daily basis -- we're your wives, girlfriends, mothers, sisters and daughters. Help us instead of telling us not to make a big deal out of it!!!

As someone who has been semi-stalked (at work by a customer who showed up, miraculously, every time I had a shift and tried to wait for me after work), and as someone who is dating someone who was all-out stalked (drive-bys and waiting outside of his apartment, going to his workplace and harassing his co-workers, angry phone calls, etc), AND as a feminist with a VERY HEALTHY sense of humor (y'know, we have to take time out of braiding our armpit hair once in a while to go watch a funny movie), I...don't get the shirt. Maybe, and this is a big maybe, it would have been more funny had it not been written in "blood".

MsPitt: Help us instead of telling us not to make a big deal out of it!!!

I don't want to misconstrue what I'm trying to say: I think stalking is a big deal. I think it's a tremendous problem that needs to be combated. I don't think saying that the glorification of stalking is sexist or misogynistic, regardless of whether or not it appears on a men's shirt, is a useful or accurate portrayal.

It is certainly the case that some shirts which glorify criminal activity are sexist, and I don't believe they have to explicitly mention or even significantly imply women as the victims to be so. I just don't feel like this is the case with this particular shirt.

Sometimes those novelty shirts are funny. When I worked at a group home for people with mental illness, someone had a shirt that said something about escaping from the mental hospital or something like that. That's when a shirt like that is funny. I think there's a line between funny and creepy, and when someone's making fun of a serious crime, then it's creepy.

Kimmy, I don't know if Wal-Mart's version of thatshirt is gender specific or not. I personally can't too many men wearing that particular style. My point was simply that other(s) think its appropriate for a woman. Let's say it's gender neutral -- it's still hurting women much more than men, that's all I'm saying. See my previous post.

Ashley, you're missing the point entirely. I'm sure those who designed the shirt didn't intend to encourage stalking, but by making light of what turns out to be a serious (often deadly) situation for people. And the majority of these people are women statistically speaking, go ahead and look it up yourself.

And for the record, I'm a feminist with a major sense of humor and these type of slogan t-shirts, even the harmless non-gendered ones, are not the least bit funny to me.

SarahMC, I do indeed have inside knowledge on commenters. Mwa-hahah. No seriously, it just always cracks me up when people sign in using multiple names to make it look like people agree with them or use a female name when their email address says something like Joe or...Steve. And shockingly, it's always the antifeminists who do this.

"Meat is Murder. Tasty, Tasty Murder" (written in blood)*
"Come to the dark side - we have cookies"
"If life hands you lemons, squirt them in people's eyes!" (with a picture of a little girl squirting a lemon).

I find these funny because they are totally over the top and don't reflect reality. In real life, little girls don't go around squirting lemon juice in people's eyes, and I'd totally go over to the dark side if the cookies were chocolate chip.

The difference with this T-shirt is that stalkers often use the "I'm stalking because I love you so deeply" rationalization/ excuse all the time. It's not funny to me because it's true reflection of what the stalkers are thinking.

Damn, Jessica. I really wish that you had the time to run around outing them all when they pull shit like that. But I imagine that if you did, you would never get anything else done.

Whoops, in my above comment I meant to say that by making light of stalking in any small, seemingly insignificant way it makes the public that much more likely to take it less seriously as a crime.

In addition to the utter creepiness of this shirt, I think it's really sad that if I as a woman wore this, I'd probably be considered sad and pathetic, unable to catch a man - the type of girl who follows her ex-boyfriend around everywhere because she can't get anyone else. If a guy wears it, though, it can be seen as a funny joke. I know I can't prove that'd be people's reactions to both genders, but does anyone else get that impression? If it's true it makes it even more sexist...

wow. this is a ridiculous posting--how jessica "found" the misogyny in this is unbelieveable. women stalk, too.

also, for those of you going back and forth about whether its a mans shirt or a womans shirt because "there are no tittie shapes" (whatever that means), fail to consider that there are women who do not have breasts, there are women who wear "mens" clothing, and a lot of clothing these days are marketed as unisex for ALL people.

No one is denying that women stalk too. That doesn't make this shirt any less disgusting or disturbing.

Dear lord this one brought out the trolls.

Wow, the trolls have all come out from under the bridge today. WTF.

I think the trolls are hopping back and forth from Feministing and Feministe. There are a Joe and a Steve over there right now making trollish comments.

I remember a men's shirt at Hot Topic that had "I love it when you play hard to get" superimposed over a restraining order.

Even my roomie's MRA misogynist boyfriend had thought that went too far.

internetone, you obviously haven't "read" any of the comments above.

Also, your insightful rebuttal that "there are women who do not have breasts"- wow. Just wow. So are you saying the mannequin obviously represents a woman who has had a double mastectomy? My bad! How could I have missed THAT one?

Wow, DrkEyedCajn, you're right! How very inclusive of them! Gee, and here we are giving them a bad rap.

"Some call it assassinating the President, but I just call it sticking it to the Man."
What, you can't take a joke?
(Like I'd make Darth Cheney Emperor...)

Uh oh. Now the Feds are going to come shut down Feministing and taser Jessica. Thanks a LOT, StarDragon. Sigh.

If worn by a woman, I would look at it as a parody of the crazed Fatal Attraction-type woman. If worn by a man, I would think of him as creepy. Now, that may sound like a double-standard, but given the threat that some men pose to women, I don't think it's funny on a man.

I thought two things upon seeing that: "The bloody font definitely brings the creepy" and "White? My ex who stalked me definitely preferred black. Easier to hide."

And look at all the trolls, bleating how "Teh menz are totally stalked tooooo, humourless feminists!".

The shirt is just disturbing, and absolutely makes light of a very serious issue. Yes, sometimes men are stalked. But most of the time? It's women.

This shirt is creepy. Not necessarily misogynist, but definitely creepy and wrong. The scary thing is, the feelings that motivate stalking someone really do feel like love.

The shirt itself seems like an attempt at dark humor that forgot the "humor" part. In "TV Tropes" terms, they tried for CrossesTheLineTwice (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CrossesTheLineTwice) but ended up with DudeNotFunny (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DudeNotFunny).

i just think it's a creepy shirt, regardless of who is wearing it.

and as was pointed out earlier, the difference between creepy and inappropriately-funny is a fine line. i think those other shirts mentioned walk it because no one is really going around squirting lemon juice in other people's eyes, and last i checked, satan wasn't luring converts with baked goods.

this shirt crosses the funny-but-kind-of-wrong line into just plain not funny territory because the slogan on the shirt is EXACTLY what actual stalkers often say to rationalize their behavior.

MSPITT: "Is that a man's shirt or a woman's shirt? If it's a woman's shirt, it's still not right, but it is less scary, given that males have a near-monopolopy on serious violence in America."

As someone who dated a very possessive woman for a year, I would say that shirt is pretty fucked up, for both genders.

How about this for a slogan?

What they call funny, I call totally fucked up.

Regarding sex differences in stalking.

I did a quite academic lit search and this is what I pulled up:

Yet, stalking is a form of intimate violence (Coleman, 1997; Douglas & Dutton, 2001; Kurt, 1995), affecting approximately 1 million women and 400,000 men each year (Tjaden & Thoennes, 1997), who are primarily stalked by current or former love interests (see Spitzberg & Cupach, 2001, for review).

So, basically more common for women to be stalked, but a large minority of individuals being stalked are men.

MSPITT: "We're not here to attack the good guys. We need your help. We need men to become aware of the violence that some men perpetrate. You're not a perpetrator, I would guess, so when we talk about "men" doing these things, you become indignant. Well, instead of becoming indignant, could we please solicit your help?"

I completely see what you are saying. I think there are several ways to solicit people's help.

One way is appeal to their self-interest. For example, you could say to a guy:

Well, you know how horrible it is when a guy is stalked, harrassed, and humiliated by an ex-gf? That's really fucked and we need to stop that. And it's even more common for women to be stalked by men, and many women are killed and severely maimed by their partners. So let's come together and work really hard to devote the resources we need to combat the stalking faced by men and the more prevalent stalking faced by women, and to target the different types of stalking men and women typically face.

But the problem, on this board at least, is that is not the response you get. Often you get a derisive sarcastic remark along the lines of "WHAATT ABOUTZ THE MENZ??" - ridiculing and dismissing the poster's concerns. Sometimes that is justified because the person is trying to claim men and women face exactly the same thing or trying to justify inaction by pointing out the lack of gender differences. Other times the poster is trying to make sure that the problems men face don't get swept under the rug or dismissed.

I think there are a lot of issues like that: Where one sex faces the issue more, but a large minority of the other sex still faces that issue as well.

ok...saw the shirt at walmart (i really hate shopping there...not a lot of options on the islands...i limit myself) in the men's section...not that it matters...i buy men's long sleeved t-shirts all the time...but it's creepy no matter who wears it. i was stalked by a girl who was stalking my (at the time) boyfriend, who used to date her...not even a little funny. i think we ALL know stalking can go any which way...
and i can't remember where i saw it...i will have to dig around...but i DID see one that said
"it's not rape, it's suprise sex".
charming.

I think it's kind of pathetic that "Ashley" was discredited by being "outed" as "Steve."

What does that have to do with anything? Ashley could also be a dude's name.

My screenname doesn't have a gender connotation, but when I posted a "borderline" or oppositional viewpoint - people called me a "dood."

It's pretty hard to have an intelligent discussion about misogyny when the people discussing the comments are ridiculing somebody's comments BASED ON THEIR GENDER.

Also, calling someone a troll is just an excuse to ignore their point of view. Why not try refuting them instead of resorting to grade school insults?

UCLAbodyimage, most stalking, domestic violence and sexual assault pose no real threat to the vast majority of men, so to present these problems as serious issues facing both men and women doesn't ring true, and because of that, your approach would not resonate in any way with most men. That is not to say there aren't important issues that are male-specific (e.g., why do men years earlier than women on average -- isn't that a concern to you? Prostate cancer? etc.). This board's mission is to help women with their issues, of which there are many, but that doesn't mean feminists are dismissive of legitimate male-centered issues. That said, I just don't see stalking, domestic violence or sexual assualt in that category. And I say that without being flippant, or dispectful. I am not rolling my eyes at your response.

If you read all of the comments, Q, you would see that their arguments were refuted. And we called them trolls. Because they are. If you're not a troll and you disagree, you do so in a respectful manner. Those who have been called trolls are not.

And it matters because the poster has commented under several different names for the purpose of creating a false consensus in his favor. Its purposely misleading. And the majority of people who troll on a feminist blog ARE men. That's just the facts. On my blog, it has to be at least a 70-30, if not an 80-20 ratio. From my observations, it is the same elsewhere. And that's just going off the names that they chose to post under. Male trolls will often post under female names to be taken more "seriously." It doesn't work, but they do.

OMG!!! STALKING IS NOT ABOUT LOVE!!! ARRGH!!! XO How many frickin times do people need to be reminded-

Stalking is an intimidation tactic used by sociopathic aggressors to make the victim feel weak and boxed in!!! Sometimes it may be the crazy ex/someone who "likes" you, but let's all remember that murderers and other aggressors stalk their victims too, so they can know their routine better/make them intimidated. Much like a "hunter stalks prey" mentality.

Also, calling someone a troll is just an excuse to ignore their point of view.
That would be true if not for the fact that people who are labeled as trolls are, typically, being trolls.

Why not try refuting them instead of resorting to grade school insults?
Because that would detract from what the value and focus of the discussion for everybody but the troll (thus serving the troll's mission).

...this is starting to resemble a chat instead of a comment box about the topic, which is the offensive stalking t shirt...

And yeah, don't feed trolls.

Given Wal-Mart's history of sexism (they were involved in the largest civil rights suit in history for sexual discrimination with 1.6 million plaintiffs, I believe),I'm not suprised that they would market shit like this. I guess they figured, "Gee golly, we can't continue to bar women for promotion oppurtunities anymore, so let's just market sexist and agressive shirts instead."

JACKI: "I just don't see stalking, domestic violence or sexual assualt in that category. And I say that without being flippant, or dispectful. I am not rolling my eyes at your response. "

Hi Jacki - I understand the point you are making and appreciate your comments.

What I am saying is that just because violence isn't the typical outcome of stalking for men doesn't mean that stalking doesn't have serious negative impacts for men.

I don't personally know any guys who have faced bodily harm from stalking ex-gfs. But I do know guys who have had their property damaged or reputations damaged because of stalkerish ex-gfs. In one case, the woman plastered his workplace with 100s of flyers with his picture, a penis inserted in mouth, and the words "John is a cocksucker" after he refused to get back with her. In other case, one of my friends had his tires slashed by (presumably) his ex-gf.

Although I do think it is important to focus on and prevent the physical violence that women face from stalkers, I think this can be done without minimizing the horrible emotional stress, property damage, and sometimes more serious issues that stalking creates for men (and women).

JACKI: "This board's mission is to help women with their issues, of which there are many, but that doesn't mean feminists are dismissive of legitimate male-centered issues."

I admit I still feel confused on this. Personally, I take feminism to mean concern for all the ways that men and women are treated differently, both legally and by society. This includes issues that are unique to women and unique to men, and also where they overlap.

For example, women's bodies are objectified more than men's and women feel pressure to be thin, but men's bodies are increasingly objectified more than women's and men feel pressure to be muscular. One feminist-oriented analysis might point out this creates that this pressure men feel is part of a larger system where men are expected to display power, not just in the workplace and socially but also physically. This provides one lens for understanding why men feel distress over their muscularity. But some people might feel that feminism doesn't cover issues that are male parallels to female experiences (e.g., men's feelings of concerns with their bodies as a result of their gender role, and the importance of remedying that issue).

[I'm apologize that this post is a little off the original topic, but I often feel conflicted about exactly what feminism's role is in terms of addressing the issues men face, so this seemed like an opportunity to express that and see what people think]

Eeeek! The perils of not proofreading.

What I typed: "men's bodies are increasingly objectified more than women's and men feel pressure to be muscular."

What I MEANT to type:

men's bodies are increasingly objectified and men feel pressure to be muscular more than women do.

I really don't think it matters at all whether it is a men's, women's or unisex shirt. It is a thin line and that shirt crosses way over into tacky, offensive, and potentially dangerous territory. It is not funny because it is feeding the popular misconception that stalking is about love, and therefore is acceptable and ignorable, often with deadly results.

If I may add to the disgusting slogans, I think the worst I ever saw was "Help stop rape" and on the back of the shirt was "Consent." Everyone loves a rape myth.

Q, no one mocked anyone for their gender. But it's a common tactic for anti-feminist trolls to use female user names in an attempt to make their arguments seem more "valid." Which, of course, is ridiculous on its face because it assumes that feminists are more likely to take women seriously than men--and as you can tell from some of the wonderful male commenters at Feministing, that certainly isn't the case.

For example, there was once this troll who was arguing that women shouldn't be firefighters and police officers and tried to give that argument validity by saying, "I was a female police officer." Interestingly, the same IP address on another thread identified themselves as a "female lawyer," and tried to argue that women were to blame for rape. (Whenever someone uses female as a qualifier before a profession, it's a pretty good clue said person is a dude.)

So, while I agree that a commenter's gender is generally of no concern to me and shouldn't be in terms of their comments--in this case (and others like it), I think my "outing" was warranted.

"

Article sez:
"So when she saw the T-shirts, clearly aimed for the teen-younger adult set, she didn't see the humor."

So - where's the sexism? Thank God for feministing, or else I wouldn't know what to pigeonhole men as next!

Give me a fucking break. Jessica, you're losing your edge; simply because a woman reacts to it does not mean the shirt was aimed at women. Shocking, I know."

Jessica WAS justified; that was Joe's post. Oh and speaking of which, I have seen his name several times- hasn't he been banned yet?

"Joe, you're being moderated because I went through your past comments and noticed that you violated quite a bit. I love when trolls cry censorship. Please."

Indeed. If they actually cared about having free speech instead of just trolling, they'd set up their own websites (plenty of free ways to do that!) instead of whining about other people not hosting their opinions for them.

"Also, your insightful rebuttal that 'there are women who do not have breasts'- wow. Just wow. So are you saying the mannequin obviously represents a woman who has had a double mastectomy?"

BTW: Either that or possibly a women with a body like mine. My breasts are AA-cup and if I wear an unpadded bra it might as well be chest bindings...

UCLAbodyimage: I do not think that most men can appreciate living with the apprehension that a lot of women face on stalking and related issues, and from what I am reading, a shirt like this raises some serious red flags. Let's not dismiss those red flags because we don't know what it's like to have an entire gender generally bigger and stronger and more aggressive than you.

Certainly these issues affect men from time to time, but to a far lesser degree, with far less apprehension. As a previous commentator noted, we (I'm a guy -- for real) have issues that are unique to us that deserve to be addressed, including our shorter lifespans (why aren't we outraged about that??), but that dosen't mean they should be addressed on THIS Web site. Women deal with a host of oppressions that we simply don't, and that's what this Web site is about, and I find it informative. We have a few oppressions of our own that they don't have (you noted some) but frankly, I'd rather be a guy in America right now. You may disagree.

I don't understand why it is that every time the host of this Web site raises an issue underscoring that women are treated unfairly in some facet of society that we see a bunch of guys jumping in to say, "Us, too!" I mean, no matter what the issue is. Sure sometimes that's got to be true, but this seems to happen ALL the time.

Not to interrupt the debate going on and all, but you can buy the t-shirt for only $15 at this website: http://www.womenarewonderful.com/order.html

I just bought it, and I'm going to wear it as soon as I get it!

I am a relatively new commentator. I think my first one was just Sunday if I am not mistaken, even though I've been reading for a long time. I have to agree with Tim. This shit happens all the time (at Feministing and elsewhere). It's obnoxious to have to constantly reiterate that I don't want to have it better than men, I simply want equality (heh, if only that was simple indeed). I have not seen anything on here that indicates that crimes such as rapes, stalking, etc. etc. don't happen to men. What I do see is the assertion (over and over and over) that there is a hell of a discrepancy between men and women, and that we need to analyze why that is from many angles. What I also see here are the viewpoints (over and over and on) that either argue with stats (never been a fan of stats because those calculating them almost never not have an agenda) indicating that no, the difference is not big, or that sighhhh, it happens to men, too. Something that doesn't have to be debated. That in of itself tells me something about feminism and contra-feminismo.

Also, on a completely different note Tim, et al. - while it is true that most men live shorter than women, age has nothing to do with quality of life. As I've found with my research, we ladies may reach centenarian status more than men, but we are not as autonomous. Men who do reach very old age, live better lives. I know...that sucks.

Well said, Jem. (I would add that I'd like for you to live better and for me to live longer.)

Guys, we can fight for issues about which we are familar with (prostate cancer; the problems boys are having in school; the incredible incarceration rate of men in America) while also being much more sensitive to the issues that uniquely effect women (and a lot of those directly involve some of us, too -- domestic violence, rape, etc.)

Let us be honest, throughout history women's groups have been responsible for most of the progress women have made in rising out of second class status. Why is that, guys? What does that say about our gender? No, we may not be personally responsbile for establishing the "patriarchy" since we just happened to be born into it like the women, but I believe we are just as responsible as women (or more so) to work for de facto, not just legal equality. So pretty please, with sugar on it, let's cut out the divisiveness and finally work together. (And for some of the regular readers here, let's cut out the excessive sarcasm unless the troll truly deserves it. You all are familiar with feminism; a lot of the guys wondering into this site for the first time are just discovering it, believe it or not, through the incredible magic of the internet, and you ought to be embracing them.)

Mina, as another small-chested lady, I appreciate how easily my chest can disappear under a baggy shirt. I just had to point out the absurdity of internetone's suggestion that the mannequin is a female because of existence/lack of "titties," as s/he (I'm guessing he) so tastefully put it. I sincerely doubt he was trying to add anything thoughtful to the debate.

I know, I know, I shouldn't feed the trolls... but I couldn't help baiting that one.

Tim, I'm all for embracing people of both genders who are genuinely here to learn, not to poke fun and belittle the work this site does. So, thank you for your thoughtful posts- you're obviously here to add to the discussion, not detract from it.

The actual t-shirt that Wal-Mart is selling is grey with the word "stalking" in pink glitter and the other words in white ink. It is clearly and women's cut t-shirt sold in the Juniors department - marketed to girls/young women.

1.4 million people are stalked each year in this country. In in 12 women and 1 in 45 men will be stalked at some point in their lives. Nearly 36% of women who are stalked by a current or former partner have the stalking escalate to physical violence. Three-fourths of women who were murdered by an intimate partner were stalked by that partner prior to their death. Stalking is real, it's dangerous, and it's a crime. For Wal-Mart,or anyone, to minimize the seriousness of stalking by selling such a shirt is reprehensible.

Regarding the dire consequences of stalking for women:

David Buss, an evolutionary psychologist, recently published a book called "The Murderer Next Door" which talks about stalking. Based on his study of 13,000 wife killings, he says:

Separation is also a powerful trigger for murder. According to a study of homicides in Chicago, 50 percent of wife killings took place within the first two months of the separation, and an astonishing 85 percent of these women were killed within the first year. In contrast, among the women who contemplated killing their mates, getting dumped accounted for only 13 percent.

Among women killed by a partner they have separated from, 88 PERCENT HAD BEEN STALKED PRIOR TO BEING KILLED� Buss said. “Although most stalkers do not kill their victims, most mate-killing men do stalk their victims. Stalking is one danger sign that women should not ignore.

“Just when women feel as though they have successfully escaped a bad marriage is precisely the time when their lives are most in danger,� he added. “It is likely that the key danger is not the length of time per se but, rather, when the man realizes she will never return to him.�

Based on existing research, Buss concluded for the few mate killings that occur a year or more after estrangement, it seems the couple actually had sexual contact during the year even though the woman had moved out. The hope that she might return, as indicated by sex, offers a protective buffer, lowering the odds the man will try to kill her. But then when the sex stops, and he realizes she will never come back, the woman’s life is in danger.

oh, and I totally bought the cool "Someday a woman will be president!" shirt... not the creepy stalking one. *shudder*.

for clarification, that link was for the cool "someday a woman will be president" shirt... not the creepy stalking one. *shudder*