I've gotten a TON of emails about this crazy-creepy website, Marry Our Daughter. And while the site has been outed as a hoax site, I think it's worth mentioning. Because there's something severely fucked up about the idea that women are in such a bad place that a site like this seemed like it could be real.
After all, with things like purity balls and abstinence-only education teaching young women that their only value is as future wives--something like this site doesn't seem so far-fetched.
Luckily, the actual purpose of Marry Our Daughter is to bring attention to a somewhat related issue:
Contacted through MarryOurDaughter this morning, [site creator John] Ordover quickly conceded the page was a parody aimed at drawing attention to inconsistencies in state marriage laws. States consider it a crime for adults to have sex with minors, but they allow kids as young as 12 to get married with parental and sometime judicial permission.
Ordover is also a co-creator of the super controversial "Technical Virgin" website that Melanie Martinez was fired over.
So I'm actually kind of pleased about this--assuming that the issue gets some attention. In fact, I wrote about this in my book (shameless plug alert). People are up in arms about teenagers (well, teenage girls) having sex, but only if they're not married. Best example ever: the 13-year old in Nebraska whose parents married her off to the 21 year-old man who got her pregnant. You know, so she'd still be "pure."
UPDATE: Amanda has more. And it's disturbing.
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Somehow, coming from a country where an "arranged marriage" is the norm and sites of the bharatmatrimony.com and shaadi.com genre have spawned and where it is very much done to post profiles on the behalf of one's daughters, the "marry rdaughter" part did not seem very odd. The age did.
DISGUSTING.
I came across this site just yesterday using StumbleUpon, a webpage randomizer for Firefox. I sat there for a good 3 or 4 minutes, saying "It's a joke, right? It has to be a joke." I didn't get that it was a hoax until I read the testimonial section. Yes, it's a disgusting comment on society, but it's terrifying that I thought someone would and did get away with it.
Fascinating. The site ends up commenting on more than just the hypocrisy of state marriage laws.
For example, in the FAQ, one (ostensible) teen states, "...my mom thought I was getting 'too frisky'..." The kid says she needed to settle down pronto, before losing her "purity." Nice.
As Allytude pointed out, sites like this do exist. With this one, though, it is "OMIGAWD, not wholesome, white American girls!"
And the fact that men have actually offered proposals — deeply, deeply saddening and disturbing. That is just plain fuckupedness.
Just FYI, I got this message from AOL when i clicked on the link to that website. Just beware.
AOL Safety Alert: Known Spam Solicitation Site
The page you are trying to view was linked with e-mail determined to be spam.
For your protection, we have blocked access to this site from AOL.
To learn more about this threat and AOL's protections, visit AOL Keyword: Site Security.
Note to site owner: If you feel your site is being blocked in error, please visit postmaster.aol.com
I don't find the site itself to be offensive, because it's actually in many ways a feminist website--acting as a powerful parody to point out what's so effed up about sexual exploitation of women in general, and of young girls specifically.
What IS really disturbing is how realistic it seems in so many ways. Google's automated ads also bring up links for REAL websites that are shockingly similar (lots of scary mail-order bride sites that have women who are supposedly 18/19 but look very young and referred to as "girls"). It really doesn't seem to unrealistic when its automated ad buddies are placed near it.
I encourage y'all to click around on some of the automated links if you're looking for something REALLY disturbing.
I have concerns about the age allowing one to marry. My niece was 15 when she became pregnant by her 21-year-old boyfriend. When I suggested that she didn't HAVE to marry, that she could abort, adopt, or keep the baby regardless of her marital state, my brother looked at me like I was crazy. I also pointed out that the father was an adult, and she was a child, legally, and my brother could consider prosecution for statutory rape. Of course, that idea was shot down in a heartbeat. The couple married, she had her first child at 16, has had 2 more, and is only 21 years old. I can't help but wonder if the state had required that she be older than 15 to marry, would they have married. They are still married, and love each other and their kids, but I am so frustrated at the waste of her childhood and teen years.
Thanks for clearing this up. I'm in a web group where this website was posted and we were all concerned that this might be real. Honestly, I could see it being real because the marriage age is very low in some states, shows like Dateline have proven 40 year old men are looking to have sex with girls as young as 12 or 13 and there are always a few insane parents who would rather see their child married to an old man, then pregnant and unmarried.
Plus after viewing the Christian women who like to be spanked by their husbands website...I'm starting to think anything is possible. Insane, but possible.
"there are always a few insane parents who would rather see their child married to an old man, then pregnant and unmarried."
There's also always a few who would rather see their child married to an old man than virgin and unmarried, hence the way they marry off their daughters so young...
i thought this was real and tried to write to someone on there in hopes i could talk to them. thank goddess its fake!!!!