Cara at The Curvature received a response to her letter (I'm sure one of many) condemning Cosmo's craptastic "gray rape" article. And it's completely insulting--they basically insinuate that readers who are upset over the article just didn't "get it." We get it, and it still sucks.
Their response to Cara after the jump.
Dear Reader,
We received your letter of concern regarding our September story “A New Kind of Date Rape� and want to address what seems to be a misunderstanding. Cosmopolitan did not invent the term gray rape. The phrase emerged when the author of our article, Laura Sessions Stepp, was researching a book on today’s hookup culture.
In fact, the words were used by women who were left confused after a sexual encounter they were not one hundred percent sure they had consented to and by women who had known friends who were similarly confused. The confusion, many of these women admitted, was the result of having been under the influence of alcohol at the time of the encounter. Our article endeavored to help victims in these situations make sense of their ordeal, explain their avenues of recourse, and offer advice on how women can prevent so-called gray rapes from happening.
Cosmopolitan has a long history of covering the topic of sexual assault and, more important, of being an advocate for victims. Linda Fairstein, a former Manhattan sex-crimes prosecutor of 25 years, is a regular contributor to our pages. She and other rape experts applaud Cosmopolitan’s efforts to keep our readers educated about such difficult issues as sexual assault.
Sincerely,
The Editors of Cosmopolitan
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Yeah, no, the issue is still...rape. This seems to be splitting hairs in the worst way. So what if you might have said "yes" or you might not have, or you might have consciously consented, once it had began, or any other number of scenarios? It is still rape. It's not sorta rape. It's not less colorful rape. Rape is rape. Sex should always, always, always be completely consensual, and if you can't prove it was completely after the fact, that should be the determinant. (Well, or that's what I think. Goodness knows that's not how the law sees it.)
Gosh, Cosmo, I knew you were gross, backwards and silly, but I didn't realize you were also evil.
Oh, I got that same response too! We didn't COIN the term, it just EMERGED. Like a butterfly. Oh, and we know women. Women who don't like rape. So there!
Indeed. Plus, what kind of bullshit dodge is it to say that Cosmo didn't coin the term "gray rape" -- the author of the article, which Cosmo published, did (or, rather, it emerged to Stapp...from her ass, no doubt). Dandy. So Cosmo's not responsible for publishing a misleading term used by one of its contributors? Would it consider itself responsible if it were publishing an article by a white supremacist as opposed to a rape apologist like Stapp? Way to serve the readership there, Cosmo. No wonder that magazine has been completely irrelevant to me since I was 17 and stupid.
I really like how their response says that they were trying to help women make sense of what happened and try to prevent it from happening.
The translation is that the victims were not totally raped, but "kind of raped." And if the stupid sluts were not out drinking and slutting around, they would have been able to prevent "getting themselves raped." Shame on Cosmo for quoting Laura Sessions Stepp. What's next? I mean, are they going to start quoting Dr. Laura? Cosmo didn't invent the theory that birth control causes abortion, so that means it is OK to quote Doctor Laura when helping women make sense of your life?
Sorry- I wrote my last post in a fit of anger. It sounded sort of like I was confusing Laura Sessions Stepp with Dr. Laura. What I meant to say was that I like how Cosmo refuses to claim any responsibility for their article. They are basically saying that it is okay that they support someone else's asinine belief system because they are not the ones who invented the said belief system.
yup. got the same response. word for word. thanks to cosmo i now know that i wasn't angry...just not understanding...
bull shit
This must have been the generic response sent to everyone because I got it too. It made me very frustrated because if the women had drugs and/or alcohol in their systems it can be considered "gray rape". Therefore, it is the women's fault, at least the men are not at fault, when alcohol or drugs are involved. What? And of course victims of assault are confused afterwards.
This is exactly the same reply I received, and boy I am pissed off! How condescending! I didn't misunderstand anything!
leave it to cosmo to issue something retarded like this. I'm not at all surprised. I love how at the end they try to excuse themselves by basically saying "I'll have you know that we've been working for women forx amount of years" with their nose all stuck in the air.
"Our article endeavored to help victims in these situations make sense of their ordeal."
Um, really? Because after reading that article I BECAME confused.
I got this letter too and I'm furious. If your magazine is getting so many complaints, shouldn't that tell you something?
we should respond this letter by telling them they are jerks for thinking we simply didn't get what they were trying to say and not because we are angry that they refuse to print that rape is rape.
"Our article endeavored... to offer advice on how women can prevent so-called gray rapes from happening."
Nobody gray rapes anybody. It just "happens." Emerges, if you will.
Damn I wish I had a subscription so I could cancel it.
Surprise, Surprise! This is the exact same response I recieved. In fact, I could tell the second I opened it that is was a cut and paste response.
Rape is Rape!
This really sucks. Not just the article itself (it's not like we could expect better from a rag like Cosmo, after all), but also that the bulls**t "gray rape" concept seems to have taken hold in society.
It's crap. If a rape happened, it happened, no matter how many drinks came before. Rape is rape is rape.
I got the same letter too and became felt just as ignored or that my opinion was "explained away."
I won't be buying Cosmo anymore, thankyouverymuch.
I blogged it here:
http://www.elainevigneault.com/cosmo-correspondence-gray-rape.html
What the fuck? "Being under the influence of alcohol" doesn't make it less likely that a rape occurred, it makes it more likely. And that's just sick that they say "rape experts" approve of their trashy little magazine -- but note that they don't say they approve of this specific article. Maybe we should contact Linda Fairstein, the writer they mention, or ask them to produce the rape experts who supposedly support them , just to see if they support this particular article. My guess would be even if they've done articles in the past that rape and trauma experts have applauded, they're not applauding this one.
Just keep spinning, Cosmo. We'll knock you off your high horse, and soon.