This is just as powerful and affecting as the YouTube comments are disgusting and frightening. The men who most need to understand what she's saying in order to change are the men who never will.

I'm not surprised by all those foolish comments. But then again you'll find all kinds ignorance on YouTube.

Nice. A really good piece.

Listen, I'm all over no sex discrimination, but I think the way it's being done is wrong, and this video sort of validates my opinion.

First, don't assume all rape is by men. Thank you.

Second, the speaker blames all men who aren't actively supporting the feminist movement, saying that I (a man) am just as bad as a rapist because I'm not "doing something." This is foolish. By not raping a woman, I'm just as bad as someone who is?

Third, this video (and idea) is about fear. Not calmingly it, but strengthening it. It makes women think they are always in danger. It makes women not only hate men, but fear them. A woman (nor a man) should not live in fear or paranoia. Making a woman believe that any man walking down the street is a potential rapist doesn't help that. It sends the message that it is healthy (and encouraged) to feel suspicion towards all men, even "the man who tells you he loves you."

If you want to take an initiative, define feminism for the public. Don't call it feminism. That would suggest a matriarchal society to most men, who will be threatened by it. Call it "gender equality" or something similar, but make sure it is unisex so men will be more accepting. Make sure people know that "feminism" isn't about reversing the patriarchal society we used to be and putting women in power. Make sure people know that feminism is merely leveling the playing ground, and not by giving women an unfair advantage. That's one of the reasons affirmative action is so hotly contested. That's your first step.

If you want to take an initiative, don't promote hostility to men. Don't promote violence. Promote peace. Promote love. Follow the teachings of Martin Luther King Jr., who preached nonviolent resistance. Be honest and open. Be willing to listen, not just preach. That's your second step.

If you want to take an initiative, promote a healthy use of pornography. Look up some studies, you'll find that as porn infiltrates our society more and more, rape numbers decrease. So promote the fact that pornography shouldn't be a stigma anymore. Don't look upon the man who buys a Playboy magazine with disgust anymore. Pornography can be a healthy outlet for sexual desire if allowed. That's your third step.

And really? YouTube? You should expect this. Internet = Anonymity. Anonymity = Corruption. Anyone should realistically expect someone to express their harshest, deepest feelings on this subject on the Internet.

While I disagree with some of Kendra Urdang's ideas, they were well-written and had good rhythm. The piece was delivered well, though I think the cursing near the end was not necessary to put emphasize her point and was merely there for dramatic effect. Otherwise great.

Listen, I'm all over no sex discrimination, but I think the way it's being done is wrong, and this video sort of validates my opinion.

First, don't assume all rape is by men. Thank you.

Second, the speaker blames all men who aren't actively supporting the feminist movement, saying that I (a man) am just as bad as a rapist because I'm not "doing something." This is foolish. By not raping a woman, I'm just as bad as someone who is?

Third, this video (and idea) is about fear. Not calmingly it, but strengthening it. It makes women think they are always in danger. It makes women not only hate men, but fear them. A woman (nor a man) should not live in fear or paranoia. Making a woman believe that any man walking down the street is a potential rapist doesn't help that. It sends the message that it is healthy (and encouraged) to feel suspicion towards all men, even "the man who tells you he loves you."

If you want to take an initiative, define feminism for the public. Don't call it feminism. That would suggest a matriarchal society to most men, who will be threatened by it. Call it "gender equality" or something similar, but make sure it is unisex so men will be more accepting. Make sure people know that "feminism" isn't about reversing the patriarchal society we used to be and putting women in power. Make sure people know that feminism is merely leveling the playing ground, and not by giving women an unfair advantage. That's one of the reasons affirmative action is so hotly contested. That's your first step.

If you want to take an initiative, don't promote hostility to men. Don't promote violence. Promote peace. Promote love. Follow the teachings of Martin Luther King Jr., who preached nonviolent resistance. Don't promote a "fuck you" attitude like with the feministing logo. Be honest and open. Be willing to listen, not just preach. That's your second step.

If you want to take an initiative, promote a healthy use of pornography. Look up some studies, you'll find that as porn infiltrates our society more and more, rape numbers decrease. So promote the fact that pornography shouldn't be a stigma anymore. Don't look upon the man who buys a Playboy magazine with disgust anymore. Pornography can be a healthy outlet for sexual desire if allowed. That's your third step, and a good start.

And really? YouTube? You should expect this. Internet = Anonymity. Anonymity = Corruption. Anyone should realistically expect someone to express their harshest, deepest feelings on this subject on the Internet.

While I disagree with some of Kendra Urdang's ideas, they were well-written and had good rhythm. The piece was delivered well, though I think the cursing near the end was not necessary to put emphasize her point and was merely there for dramatic effect. Otherwise great.

What a powerful piece.
Thomas - go read

http://pandagon.net/2007/04/13/how-to-not-be-an-asshole-a-guide-for-men/

Thomas?!?!? Heads up to you. 1 in 4 women are survivors of sexual assault in the U.S. and 1 in 2 worldwide...so that whole nonviolent resistance thing sounds great in theory, in fact, that's generally what women do. during a rape. 95% of rapists are men. 1 in 5 men have committed at least one rape, and 1 in 6 men have been victimized by rape. Also, over 80% of sexual assaults are committed by people known to the victim.

Clearly, men's participation is essential to end sexual violence.

Feminism does not promote hostility towards men- victimization and oppression make survivors hostile towards their victimizers and oppressors.

The only way to end violence against women is for people to stop tolerating it. Men have to be a part of changing the culture.

The internet is a new frontier, and yes, somewhat anonymous. However, I see no reason to tolerate hate speech in any context. We all know it exists, but why, exactly, are we supposed to grin and bear it? Because it's prevalent? Lots of things are prevalent that don't need to be.

Thanks kpsisu, I was feeling too lazy to rebut his post point by point.

I didn't realize that buying a Playboy stopped a rape.

Correlation != causation, and that's only if you buy rape stats as 100% accurate anyway.

I like Thomas' argument that pr0n is responsible for lower rape rates, and not say, oh, feminism.

Thomas-

First, she didn't say only men are rapist once in her poem, though yes, they are the majority.

Second, you don't need to go out and be politically active or speak out at rallies to support feminism. She's saying if you're one of those men who ridicules feminists, and this is what feminism is (aiding in putting an end to rape), then what DOES that make you? Do you believe that women aren't actually raped? Do you believe women should be raped? Do you believe that women shouldn't be speaking out against rape? Have you raped a woman? That's her point.

Third, as a woman watching this video it does not make me fear all men. I know plenty of men who would never rape a woman and yes I trust the men that I have in my life and will continue to allow men in. But yes, it does need to be talked about, because yes, women need to be careful in this world. Would we all love to live in a world where we DIDN'T have to worry about rape as we walked down a deserted street in the middle of the day? Fuck yes. But do we live in that world? No. It is a real, serious fear that women have with or without us speaking out about it, because guess what? It happens. And it happens way more frequently than you would probably think.

And her point about the fact that it could be the man who says he loves you? She's not saying "don't trust any man," which is how you interpreted it. She's saying that women can be raped by their boyfriends, they can be raped by their husbands, they can be raped on a first or second or third date. Our ideas about rape are still so distorted from the truth. Rape does not only happen in back allies or by perfect strangers. Rape occurs any time a man forces himself on a woman. No matter his relationship with that woman. And there are women in this world who do not realize, still, that they can be raped by their loved ones. That any time they do not want to have sex, and he forces it, that is rape.

Until you live through the fear that all women experience living in a world where the possibility of rape is very real and very frightening, don't tell us to be silent about the one thing that we should all be shouting about from the rooftops. Because it's fucked, and it needs to stop.

Feminism does NOT "promote hostility to men," by speaking out against rape. It is simply asking men and women to help STOP such a damaging and violent action that yes, is perpetrated mostly by men. As women, we can't do it ourselves, and the men who are raping and not aware or uncaring about the damage being done are not going to stop themselves, so yes, we need all men's help.

As to the Playboy Thing... Most rapes aren't perpetrated by particularly sexually frustrated men, although that is another common myth. Most rapes are perpetrated as a power display. In a study of marital rape victims, they had not been witholding sex from their husbands. Where are the studies saying porn reduces rape?

I know that feminism itself does not promote hostility to men. I am aware. But I've met and seen many feminists who were openly hostile with me simply because I have a penis. They twisted everything I said around to be negative to the point where I just gave up and walked away. That's why I'm saying that feminists should speak out against hostility. I don't see why it would be wrong to spread that message.

Now, about "1 in 5 men [in U.S.] have committed...rape" and "1 in 2 [women] worldwide [have been sexually assaulted]..." I don't buy that. I know 5 men. None of us have committed rape. I'm pretty sure that "20% of the male population in U.S. have raped someone" is false. I'm even more sure that "half the world's women have been sexually assaulted" is false too. There are about 6 billion people, the majority of which are women. Let's assume somewhere around 3.2 billion women. Are you seriously trying to tell me that 1.8 billion women have been raped? Wow.

On the Internet. No, we shouldn't just "tolerate" people being idiots. But we should "expect" people to be idiots when they feel like they can't be held accountable for their actions. That's human nature; I'm sorry. Anything I type on the Internet I would say directly to someone's face.

Did I say that women should "be silent" about rape? No. I don't think I even implied that. I'm just worried that feminists aren't getting their message across well. I think I'm in more of a position than a feminist to analyze whether feminists' messages are hitting home considering that I'm not a feminist (before somebody rips me a new one taking every word completely serious, that doesn't mean I don't believe in equal rights).

And on "the Playboy Thing":

"The incidence of rape in the United States has declined 85% in the past 25 years while access to pornography has become freely available to teenagers and adults. The Nixon and Reagan Commissions tried to show that exposure to pornographic materials produced social violence. The reverse may be true: that pornography has reduced social violence."
Source

I appreciate that you all are so passionate on this issue, but this is something where emotions are going to be heated and you have to try to put that aside and look objectively.

Hang on, I'm getting confused about something. Thomas, are you the same Thomas as the one who posted the sex-as-commody vs. sex-as-performance paradigm analysis?

Her "style" is all wrong for her voice. She needs to learn how to declaim. In a hip-hop context slam-style sounds good. In her voice, it just sounds whiny.

No.

I just discovered this site today.

Ah, OK, that explains it. I thought you were he, and was confused about why your comments were so out of character. You might want to add an initial to your name to make it easier to distinguish between the two of you, because he posts here not infrequently--your call, obviously.

Thomas - your source is from one article.
If you do a little research, you'll find that this subject is hotly debated, and certainly hasn't been decided definitively one way or the other.
So, you believe in equal rights?
How would you feel if I told you that makes you a feminist?

Dig the message. Hate the delivery.

I love it.
Rock on.
Toni Blackman did the NYC Against Rape concert at Joe's Pub that was awesome too. Does anyone know Alexi she is also an amazing feminist spoken word artist.

I'll add an initial after this post.

-

Do you want me to find every single study? I thought one would be sufficient to prove that I'm not just making stuff up to sound dramatic.

Yes, I believe in equal rights, but no, I am not a feminist. I realize this makes me sound ignorant considering that the definition of a "feminist" is "belief in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes." However, there is a difference between theory and practice, and I think I've expressed my experience with feminists.

I don't consider myself a "feminist" because I believe in equal rights.

I consider myself a normal person.

I just consider people who aren't for equality "idiots."

That's funny, 'cause around here we often think of feminists as "normal people". Crazy I know.

To be fair, porn doesn't cause rape. Rapists cause rape. But exposure to hardcore porn can desensitise the viewer to sexual violence.

It's strange that you identify as "not a feminist" but have come to and posted comments on a feminist blog.

True, but to be fair, I found this website not by actively searching, but because I was listening to a podcast about a webcomic that pulled up this site on accident or something looking for a David Spade video and found it humorist that they ended up here. (They aren't against feminism or anything, don't get me wrong.)

I decided to go for the hell of it, watched the YouTube video, then felt compelled to comment.

Well hey, Thomas, stick around, maybe we'll convert you yet! ;o)

Re: this ludicrous 1/5 of men have raped b.s.

I cut and pasted this from another conversation, but it bears repeating here:

Consider NOW's (Nat'l Org. Wom.) numbers:

132,000 women report rape *or attempted rape* every year. We’ll treat them as the same thing, though, of course, they’re not.

150 million females live in America (pop./2).

Let’s say only 50% of these women are of age to be susceptible to rape.

So, 132,000/75,000,000 equals .00176.

NOW says that the actual number raped is between 2 to 6 times more than this.

Let’s split the difference and say it’s 4 times then.

.00176 times 4 equals .007

or about 1 in 140 according to NOW’s estimates. The F.B.I. reports (not estimates, but actual tallied reports) says it’s 1 in 2500 per year (http://www.fbi.gov/ucr/05cius/data/table_01.html)

Let’s say the F.B.I. is full of shit, and that NOW has better access to crime data and go with 1 in 140.

So, the odds over 20 years calculated more precisely and statistically accurately than my last back of envelope calculations = ( (1 - .007) to the 20th power ) are the odds of *not* being raped. This equals .87. So, 13% of women will be raped over 20 years.

.13 x 100……….1 in 13 women will be raped over their most vulnerable years.

/If each and every single/ of those rapes had been done by a different male, you’d still be too high in your estmates (again, according to NOW’s numbers). However, having done little to no formal reading on rapist profiles, I understand from casual reading that many rapists are serial offenders, having committed many rapes over years.

Bottom line: There’s no way your 1/5 estimate is correct.

What’s a better estimate? That’s a separate, but interesting question. I’d bet a week’s salary (a modest bet, admittedly) it’s not more than 1/25. That’s just a guess, but I’m a good guesser.

And you still haven't acknowledged my assertion that:

"Let’s say only 50% of these women are of age to be susceptible to rape."

this sentence, sadly, has no basis in reality.

stupid arithmatic error at the very end. 13% is more like 1/8 over twenty years. However every step along the way was done with very conservative numbers. So, especially considering the serial rapists, there's absolutely no way 1/5 of men have raped at some point in their lives.

Ok, if you want the numbers to look WAY stronger in my argued direction, let's have it your way Anorak. I was actually strongly increasing the numbers in favor of high frequency rape with that 50%. Also, look at the literature, rape of females is very age-dependent. NOW's webpage will readily confirm this.

"Young women, women who are separated, divorced or single, low- income women and African-American women are disproportionately victims of assault and rape." NOW website

- Is this what you're refering to?

Disproportionately doesn't mean exclusively. As I said in the other thread where you put your arithmatic, babies and old women get raped too. It is not possible to say there is an age-group of women who are not going to be raped.
I agree, certain women are more at risk than others, but rapists don't always discriminate.

You're absolutely right, all women are at risk.

Love the message. It's not about fear, it's about the state of denial most people (male and female) live in. Men rape - but not any men I know.

Chances are everyone here knows and likes a man who has raped somebody. Horrible thought, but until people accept that rapists aren't monsters with "rapist" tattooed on their forehead rape will continue to not be taken seriously (not that it's a be all end all)

Hmm. If her message turns some guys away from feminism, maybe what we really need is a GUY doing something along the same lines! Which was, in part, her point.

It's like my position as a straight, white person. I have a responsibility not to be ignorant or defensive about the privileges that being heterosexual, or being white, give me. And a responsibility to speak out about it around other people who are similarly privileged. Not to let us get away with our comfy little world of similarity.

Women can speak out against rape like gay and lesbian people can speak out against homophobia. That's incredibly important, but it's equally important to have men or straight people speak out against these injustices. Injustices that support a power differential they, in some twisted way, have benefited from. We need to reject those privileges.

A non-sexist, non-homophobic, non-racist, etc., world will be a better place for all of us to be human . . . but it does involve giving up privilege, which is hard to acknowledge and complicated, practically, to practice. In this particular case, men need to speak out against rape around other men. They need to quit tolerating casual talk about sexual violence. That was what this poet was calling for.

Thomas, a few things to consider:

- Would any of your male friends mention to you in conversation that they'd raped a woman? Is that something you'd ask? That they'd admit?

- There's more to preventing or stopping rape than not raping women. It also means not accepting abusive language towards women, not laughing at "rape jokes", not assuming it's okay to threaten a woman with rape or other forms of sexual violence just because you don't like her, and it means telling your male friends to not do it, either. It means *not accepting* such behaviour as "okay". I think a lot of men accept the idea that making sexist jokes is wrong and perpetuates stereotypes and makes women uncomfortable, but far fewer of them call their friends on it when they do it, tell their coworkers to stop it when they start up, or thwap jerks online who think it's funny to threaten women with rape to shut them up.

In talking quite upfront about rape with my male friends, I've been continually shocked at how they've gone their entire life without having a single conversation with an adult or friend about rape that really *talked* about rape the way so many women have grown up having them. Help prevent rape by talking with your son (should you have one), nephew, cousin, friend, whatever about what rape actually is.

That's being an active person against rape.

Being passive and just letting things happen around you and saying "But I've never raped a woman!" doesn't really get you a cookie. Not raping a woman is actually the default position for being a human being. Now do something more than that.

"Chances are everyone here knows and likes a man who has raped somebody."

Heck, I know people who are still good friends with a guy they know raped a woman. See, they didn't like the woman he raped....

Strangely, these people are not *my* friends anymore. Funny, that.

You know what I wonder? How do those of us who've had more than one sexual assault or similar experience go into the statistics? Just once? Or once for each event?

Of course, I shouldn't say "us," because I wouldn't be part of any statistics. I never told anybody in authority.

Love it, love it, love it.

See, there's a thing called "innocent until proven guilty" that I abide by above all else, so I'm not going to assume or suspect any of my friends have committed something as horrible as rape unless I have proof. Just because I can't prove that they haven't ever raped someone doesn't mean I should just assume they have.

However, while I do not know any men who have ever even threatened rape or sexual assault, I do know some women who have used allegations of sexual abuse to get their way.

I find certain off-color jokes funny, and will continue to find some of them funny, but I do not tell any around women whom I know would be uncomfortable. There are certain women I know who honestly do find some jokes funny simply because they know that no one's taking it seriously. If I tell a joke about rape, that doesn't mean I'm saying rape is okay.

Now, I suppose this might be a little bit of a tangent, but what I don't get is why most feminists' message is "stop violence against women; stop sexual abuse against women." I don't see why it's "stop violence; stop sexual abuse." By making violence against women a more serious crime than violence against men, that's sexual discrimination right there.

The commenter using the name "Thomas" above is not me, the Thomas that has commented here almost from inception. In fact, he ought to choose a different screenname. Around here, "Thomas" refers to exactly one person.

Yeah, I tried changing it to "Thomas E." but it hasn't shown up. I don't get why.

If it helps, mine is always underlined.

Much appreciated.

"I don't get is why most feminists' message is "stop violence against women; stop sexual abuse against women." I don't see why it's [not] "stop violence; stop sexual abuse."

Bear in mind, underlined Thomas, that having a specific focus as an activist doesn't mean supporting that focus to the exclusion of all other social reform. I don't think there are very many feminists who wouldn't also like to see violence against men in decline; but it's very hard to enact any real change in the world without being specific and focused in your goals. If you set out to stop ALL violence - be it rape, gang violence, genocide, or anything else - you're not liable to get very far. But if you focus on a subset of violence that has a consistent array of social attitudes and biases behind it, your chances are better. That doesn't mean you think other violence doesn't matter; it's just picking your battles.

I'm not sure why fighting and stopping violence against over half the population isn't a broad enough mandate; why should feminists need to include violence against men in order to make our agenda legitimate?

The point is, feminism exists in order to rectify the systemic subordination of women. Hence, we focus on the ways in which women are made to suffer because of their lack of membership in the dominant gender group.

By making violence against women a more serious crime than violence against men, that's sexual discrimination right there.

This would only be true if we were on an equal playing field to start with; we're not. Take a look through the archives and think about how often male violence against women goes unpunished or is in some way dismissed as "unimportant." Devoting equal attention to two groups who do not have equal statuses already does nothing to remedy existing injustice; it merely perpetuates it. You might want to follow up this topic at the feminism 101 website.

Joking about rape does not necessarily mean that you think rape is OK, but it does mean that you're willing to use someone else's intense, gendered suffering to get a cheap laugh.

I'm sorry, Thomas, I should have been cleared about what I meant.

It's that you can't really state for 100% certain that men you know haven't committed a rape unless you've sat down and talked to them about it. It's like, I *could* say that none of my friends have ever had an abortion - but really, just because none of them have mentioned it to me, doesn't mean it hasn't happened. It's a discussion we haven't had.

There's also the complication of assuming that you can personalise statistics the way you seem to want to here. Maybe none of your friends has ever raped a woman - it doesn't make the statistic untrue.

For example - I live in a multicultural city, that has something like a 35% non-white population. If I were to personalise that statistic, 35% of my neighbours should be non-white, and the other 65% should be white. That this isn't true in my case doesn't make the statement of 35% of the city is non-white untrue.

EG, I think I love you.

In a purely platonic way, of course.

@EG: While feminism is about leveling the playing field so that women have a better shot, the definition I go by is the dictionary definition: "Belief in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes." And that includes men.

And maybe feminists don't outright support the seriousness of abuse to women at the expense of abuse to men, but that's the attitude in society, and nothing's being done about that. If a husband beats his wife, the judge is more likely to assign a harsh punishment than if a wife beats her husband. It's unfortunate but true. This is an extreme example:

A woman named Kim Tran cut off her boyfriend's penis because he wouldn't divorce his wife. She tricked him into letting her tie his hands up, then took a kitchen knife and cut off the guy's penis and flushed it down the toilet. What was her punishment for severing a (fully conscious) man's penis, torturing him by sawing off a body part? No jail time. Just has to attend counseling with her kids, learn English, and attend life skills. I almost threw up when I read that story. And I can guarantee you if an equivalent of that happened to that woman from a man, he would be sentenced to at least 20 years.
Source

So it's things like that that make me a little bitter about drawing so much attention to one gender's abuse. I don't see how treating horrifying crimes for both genders equally "perpetuates" discrimination. Treating one gender differently than another is discrimination.

And about the jokes thing, whatever. I get what you're saying, but if we lived in a world like that (which we do) where we're not allowed to offend anyone ever (I'm not saying that I would ever try to offend anyone or anything) then that really wouldn't be a good world to live in.

@Anna: I would rather assume that they haven't. Again, innocent until proven guilty. I'm not going to accuse any of my friends of rape without some sort of evidence to suggest that that accusation is necessary. I hope I've made my feelings clear in an earlier post about false rape accusations.

It's smarter to assume that someone hasn't committed rape before than to assume that they have.

If a husband beats his wife, the judge is more likely to assign a harsh punishment than if a wife beats her husband.

Hmm. I wonder if that has anything to do with the fact that men attack their partners far more frequently and in far more damaging ways than the other way round?

Now, as far as I know, that makes a grand total of two women who have castrated men in the past several years. Clearly an epidemic of violence. In the meantime, every day, men rape, beat, stalk, and brutalize women. Let me see, which is the more pressing problem...I know. I'll quote the spokesperson of the Anchorage Police Department in charge of the Kim Tran case: "This is something that I have never seen before in my 15-years at the police department....It's a very unusual type of assault." What are the odds, do you think, that she's seen plenty of rapes?

If two things are not already equal, treating them equally does not promote equality. If I have five dollars and you have fifty, giving us each 2 dollars will not rectify that inequality. If we are both waiting in the Emergency Room, and you have mild food poisoning, and I am bleeding out from three gunshot wounds, giving us equal attention, equal priority, and equal treatment will not bring us to an equal state of health. And if every few years, a few members of one group suffer a nasty, brutal, crippling sexual assault, and many, many members of another group are brutalized on a daily basis, and regularly are blamed for it themselves, treating the two problems as if they are of equal social import and impact is absurd.

Be serious. Do you regularly worry about being castrated by a lover? When you walk down the street after dark, do you keep an eye out for women wielding machetes? When you go out on blind dates, do you leave your date's contact info and instructions to take action if they don't hear from you by a given hour with a close friend in case you're tied up and castrated? How many friends of yours have been castrated? Is dealing with the after-effects of castration a regular part of your or your friends' lives?

An understanding of the impact of power differentials on members of different groups is very basic to undertanding feminism or any other social justice movement. It's so basic that again, I strongly suggest that you go over to The Feminism 101 website.

Specifically, check out their FAQ. Your ideas and claims are nothing new.

""NOW's webpage will readily confirm this."

darwin66

Did you really never bother to check out any of those studies I linked to...? What about the UN and WHO meta-analysis on sexual violence study methods? They cited a wide variety of studies, and I would expect the UN and WHO to be at least as credible as NOW.

Also, how is the NOW defining rape? I think perhaps studies that come up with higher numbers are including more in their definitions of rape...

Just because it's rare doesn't mean that should be taken any less seriously. That just means that it's an especially heinous crime (that the woman received no jail time for).

About your hospital example, that's missing the point. Do you think that doctors assign priority to emergency room patients based on gender? If I have a stomach ache and you were shot multiple times, then obviously they'll go with you; that's not sexual discrimination. That's just simple prioritizing.

For the record, I don't live in a constant state of fear that somebody's going to lop off my penis. However, I don't see how that makes the crime any less serious. No, none of my friends have been castrated, and yet none of them have been raped either.

And in your previous post I had actually thought that the "feminism 101" site was just a joke, s o I didn't look for it. I'm about to sleep now, so I'll read the site tomorrow.

"According to the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA), 1 out of 5 women has been raped or been the victim of attempted rape in her lifetime (State of the World’s Population 2005)"

"Of the 17.6 percent of all
women surveyed who said they had been the victim of a completed or
attempted rape at some time in their life, 21.6 percent were younger than age
12 when they were first raped, and 32.4 percent were ages 12 to 17." -U.S. Department of Justice, Full Report of the Prevalence, Incidence, and Consequences of Violence
Against Women. Research Report: Findings From the National Violence Against Women Survey

Thomas:

Something you appear to have little understanding of is that most female victims of sexual crimes /don't/ get justice. Only about 1 in 3 report, and even among those report it's incredibly hard to prove. I can remember at least two cases in the past two years of underage girls who claimed to be gang-raped, but because of some really screwy defenses and an obviously biased jury the rapists weren't convicted. Incidentally, if a person knows a rape victim or has any experience dealing with rape victims, they are not allowed to sit on the jury for rape cases. Pretty effed up, if you ask me...

"Women experience more intimate partner violence than do men: 22.1 percent
of surveyed women, compared with 7.4 percent of surveyed men, reported
they were physically assaulted by a current or former spouse, cohabiting
partner, boyfriend or girlfriend, or date in their lifetime...Women are significantly more likely than men to be injured during an assault:
31.5 percent of female rape victims, compared with 16.1 percent of male rape
victims, reported being injured during their most recent rape; 39.0 percent of
female physical assault victims, compared with 24.8 percent of male physical
assault victims, reported being injured during their most recent physical assault" -U.S. Department of Justice, Full Report of the Prevalence, Incidence, and Consequences of Violence
Against Women. Research Report: Findings From the National Violence Against Women Survey (http://www.ncjrs.gov/txtfiles1/nij/183781.txt)

"Approximately one-third of injured female rape and physical assault victims
receive medical treatment: 35.6 percent of the women injured during their most
recent rape and 30.2 percent of the women injured during their most recent
physical assault received medical treatment. "

Here darwin66, for the academic you are:

http://www.un.org/womenwatch/daw/egm/vaw-stat-2005/docs/expert-papers/walby.pdf

The UN Commision for the Advancement of Women talks about how survey methodology can affect statistic results, often resulting in lower statistics than what are accurate (for instance, they mention that especially if a woman didn't realized she was raped according to legal definition, she may not remember the details of the sexual encounter 10 yrs later, etc.)

Thomas, your comment in response to me makes me think you didn't read my entire comment to you.

"There's also the complication of assuming that you can personalise statistics the way you seem to want to here. Maybe none of your friends has ever raped a woman - it doesn't make the statistic untrue.

For example - I live in a multicultural city, that has something like a 35% non-white population. If I were to personalise that statistic, 35% of my neighbours should be non-white, and the other 65% should be white. That this isn't true in my case doesn't make the statement of 35% of the city is non-white untrue."

I'm not suggesting in any way that you sit down and ask your friends "Have you raped a woman?", nor am I suggesting you look at them all sideways and wonder about it. What I am suggesting is that a) you don't know if you haven't ever discussed the topic of rape and b) statistics don't personalise that way. I don't doubt for a moment that the majority of my male friends have never raped a woman (and yes, we have talked about rape - it's been a common subject on my LJ as of late). But I also don't think the fact that my male friends haven't committed rape makes the stats about rape impossible.

You don't have to ask or think or suspect your friends are rapist, but perhaps you shouldn't be sitting there insisting the statistics aren't true just because they aren't about you personally.

I mean, really - 35% of my city is non-white - and 90% of my neighbour is. Does this make the city statistic untrue because it doesn't apply to my friends and neighbours?

Until I can suggest that female friends take meditative walks on the beautiful forest trails near my home, any time day or night, by themselves, like I do and not be concerned about their safety, then there is a need for feminism.

On hot, sticky, humid nights, until women can sleep by themselves, with their windows open and not worry about their safety, like I can, and do, then there is a need for feminism.

When women, and to a lesser degree men, can choose to remain childless and not be pitied or thought to be lesser humans, then we need feminism.

A while single mothers are blamed for all the ills in our society (one of the the YouTube posts) then their is a need for Feminism.

Wonderful piece by Kendra Urdang

Feministing.com keep up the good work.

Your site has become a must read for me. Thanks muchley