"You have body parts hanging from the hitches of cars."

I agree. That is a very serious problem--it's permissiveness run amok. What kind of society have we allowed to develop in which serial killers do not feel the need to hide their vicious crimes, but indeed are riding through our towns, with dismembered body parts hanging fr--

What?

What's that you say?

Plastic?

Oh. Erm. Sorry. Slight misunderstanding there. Carry on, then. As you were.

Those things are pretty creepy, not to mention unrealistic. I don't think I've ever seen a hairless set of balls in my life! haha, have you seen the blue ones? Absolutely ridiculous!

I wonder how many people who buy and display these items are aware of the whole "penis extension" joke which dictates that people only buy large, powerful vehicles (which they otherwise have absolutely no need or use for) because they feel they have something to uh, compensate for. Down there.

I just got a stupid idea. I want to put one of these on the "snout" of my car, put a bushy black mustache thing under it, and rim my headlights with black paint. Oh and a cigar sticking out of the grill.

*begin immature moment*

"truck nutz." tee hee.

*end immature moment*

Hooboy, Myers is from my hometown, which doesn't surprise me. Western Maryland, represent. :P

Don't these reps have better things to do? If the "nutz" aren't already covered (no pun intended) under indecency or pornography laws, they should suck it up and move on to a more important issue, IMO.

I would find it funny if the child of one of the parents who got in a tizzy about the children's book which contained the word "scrotum" saw one of these things and asked the parental unit(s) about it.

What if the deer's nuts are hanging out?

I think these things are awesome...iin the way that pro-rape tees, confederate flags (sadly common in TN), and "Marriage = 1 Man + 1 Woman" bumber stickers, and things relating to the support of George W. Bush are. I am all for anything that encourages people to advertise their stupidity. It makes it easier for smart people to aviod sex, reproduction, or even long-term contact with the dumbasses of the world.

Of course, we came pretty close to the ban on breasts hanging from bumpers in Arizona.

"Plus, this is one of those items that serves to warn you away from guys that you probably don't want to be dating anyway."

Yeah, that's been pretty much my response. They're all over the place here, although I think the real winner is the guy with the happy face drawn on his truck nutz.

Maybe this legislator should get together with whoever it is that wants the kid's book with "scrotum" mentioned in it (once, in passing) banned.

Oh, noes. We can't ban the ballz. They make such effective warning labels.

Mien Gott! Feeling a bit exposed just now. Got to go...

I like the mudflap ladies on this site. ^^

i would never have seen those little nasties if that republican hadn't waved their existence in my face. i'd seen them zero times before today, and now this is the second time i've seen a picture of them. how nice of that republican to advertise these things so effectively.

Hehe maybe this is unfair objectification of male parts? ;)

I'm originally from Central MD...and I generally see them on every third truck. Is it common in any other state?

I think it turns on the issue of "anatomically correct." As a practicing attorney in Maryland, I hope this law passes, because I might - just might - get a chance to defend such a charge.

The cross-examination prospects are mind-boggling.

"Officer Jackson, do you believe that these nuts are 'anatomically correct'?"

"Well, then, ma'am, if I may, on the basis what personal TKE (training, knowledge and experience) can you substantiate these balls as 'anatomically correct'?"

"Have you been formally trained in your work with the State Police in testicular analysis? Do you have your nutsack analyst certificate with you presently and is your certificate still valid as of this date?"

"How many pairs of nuts have you examined in the course of your career?"

"Do you have professional experience in ballsack appraisal from prior employment?"

"At the time of the citation, was the set of ballsack calipers that you used to measure the subject nutbag calibrated for accuracy both before and measuring the nuts?"

While as a freedom-minded individual I would oppose these laws, as a defense attorney this could be my ride to professional prominence. "Protect your nuts from the police and call Godfrey...."

As a Marylander, I find that the truck balls serve the same purpose as the Ehrlich for governor stickers: just another idiot about whom I'm going to roll my eyes, and then move along with my day.

Though if talking about truck balls keeps the anti-gay marriage amendment from getting a vote, go ahead, talk all day. The legislature is only in session for a short period of time each year. Waste it on this crap if you like while we anxiously await the court's decision on the marriage case it heard in December.

I don't see why everyone things that these are a "warning".

Now, I don't have a motorvehicle so you can't accuse me of having truck nuts.
I don't see why we assume that everyone with trailerhitch-testicles is a creepy man, or a man at all.

I personally think they are silly and I like silly.

Is it stupid? Of course!
But so is this
http://www.stupid.com/stat/TRIM.html
And many other things.

The way I see it, if disembodied female parts are free speech, same goes for male ones.

Stephen Colbert will not be happy...

Although I am a daily reader of Feministing, I have only commented once or twice, mainly because most of the other commentors can say things much more clearly than I can, but...
Bruce Godfrey's remarks were so funny I nearly couldn't finish reading them out loud to my husband! After a long Friday after a long week, that was a much needed laugh! Thanks, Bruce! (And if I'm ever in MD and need a testicle lawyer, I'll make sure to call you!)
Keri

A hunter could still throw a freshly killed and uncovered deer in the back of his pickup, though, because the deer's body parts would be real, Myers said.

Opens the doors for some creepy taxidermy, don't it?

Once, on the Lindsey Creek Bypass down at Fort Benning, I saw a huge pickup with all kinds of military stickers and a pair of "brass" ones on the bumper.

Jami is absolutely right...I had no idea these existed! Myers has totally inspired me to make a companion piece to this one (NOT SAFE FOR WORK):

http://www.flickr.com/photos/52702311@N00/341637753/in/photostream/

SOMEBODY is getting a special birthday cake this year. :)

also, this looks like the ideal practical joke. I know that if I lived in a "car culture" and had access to Spencer's Gifts, my friends and I would be secretly affixing this to the back of each others' vehicles until it was discovered by the victim...to be fair, I imagine this probably happens frequently.

I agree with Manda. They're great. It's like having a big "Don't Date Me - I'm an Immature Baby" sign on the back of your car. My thoughts? "Good to know."

Is there any equivalent of truck nuts in places like New York, where nobody has a car?

what a good ad for the truck nuts place!

If it's going to be outlawed for items to be shaped like scrotums, it isn't a big leap to imagine that next, all phallic shaped items to be struck down, as well.... there go many buildings, monuments, etc....

my husband was reading over my shoulder and now his deepest desire is to own a pair of these for his jeep.

we also read out loud the comments from bruce godfrey-too funny!

Legislation brought to you by the same pinheaded bigots who want to ban gay marriage just so they won't have to explain it to their children.

LOL. Can't we find something better to talk about? LOL

Oh my god! "truck nutz".

Seriously though, who cares if someone hangs these things from their bumper? It's not imposing on anyone's rights.

Good light-hearted topic though. Thanks to the admins. :)

Bruce Godfrey, you really need to comment more often!

Hilarious!

He also goes by "The Crab".

Haha, I just came here right after Wonkette and I thought this was a joke. I think that anything that puts up a big "dork" flag on anyone is a good warning and should be protected speech.

Heeeey...I have a pair of those!

When I discovered these (last night on Livejournal), I bought a pair. They are currently down at the local trophy shop.

The proprietor looked somewhat shocked when I gave him my instructions, but acquiesced with good humor.

In three days, I will have my truck nuts mounted on a walnut plaque with a brass plate bearing the inscription, "In Loving Memory of My Ex-Boyfriend."

Ha Ha.

(Really? Gross.)

these things have been around for a long time.

i was in the car with my sister many years ago and i believe we were counting all the turquoise cars new englanders drove--this was just a silly observation we had made at the time--when we noticed a gentleman driving a turquoise vehicle that appeared to have testicles.

we got a big kick out of it, dubbed him "nutsack" and followed him until our paths diverged.

I just saw a pair hanging off of a truck when I was taking my dauhter (age 7) to school.

Maggie: Mommy, what is hanging off the back of that truck? Is that what I think it is?

Me: Yeah

Maggie: Why would someone want to have that on their truck?

Me: I have no idea. What do you think?

Maggie: That is gross! The man in that truck is an idiot! (Brief pause) But you know what would be funny, mommy... sticking a big ol' butt off the back of our car!