I cannot, at this moment, express how deeply upsetting that thread is.

Connery has been married for 31 years...and there haven't been any complaints...

Yeah, cause he'd smack the shit out of her if there was.

yeah that thread was most upsetting. in addition, when you run that video through a search engine a lot of sites are labeling it as a comedy.

because when a male icon (a 007!!) talks about slapping bitches it's hilarious!! not problematic.

Mel Gibson and Michael Richards get blasted for being racist, but Sean Connery gets compliments for admitting to, and condoning smacking women.

It makes me sad.

God, those comments are truly appalling. Mastermind is right, the racist equivalent to this display of sexism would never be tolerated.
I also spotted one who basically said that he thought it was ok to "slap a bitch", but no-one had better do it to his mom or sister or else... Guess what, you moron, the "bitches" you want to slap are someone else's daughter, sister or mother... I can't believe those Neanderthals.

I could only read so much of that thread. That is so freaking ridiculous. It really makes me sad that someone so famous could condone such abuse.

What is the difference between a woman slapping a man and a man slapping a woman with equal force? I am asking a serious question here bc I am not really sure some things are coonsidered when automatically everyone starts screaming domestic violence. Especially if the woman starts hitting the guy first. I have been thinking about this alot lately since I happe to know alot of girls who regularly slap their boyfriends when they are pissed. I dont think thats right either. I mean, is slapping a girl back after she hits you and is going crazy different then the beatings usually associated with domestic violence? I would be inclined to think so, but i am not sure.

katie,

first, i challenge you to see who is "screaming domestic violence"...

next, he's talking about slapping a woman for talking too much, not in response to an assault.

i have no problem hitting, knocking down or restraining anyone who tries, earnestly, to hurt me (and, if they are not earnestly trying to hurt me, i have no qualms about tickling)...

however, i have never and will probably never hit someone for talking too much. and if someone hits me for talking too much (which i do more than i ought), i get rightly pissed off.

listen to what connery said...

then look at the digg comments, where many of the commenters mentioned that they are willing to "knock out" their friends for being annoying...

among other things, from a bunch of digg-commenting geeks, that's just unbelievable...

heights and blessings

UNBELIEVABLE!!!! I cannot believe those comments on the thread....OUTRAGEOUS!

Why should people be resorting to violence at all, regardless if you are male or female! What is the message we send children when we use our fists in solving a problem? NOT A VERY GOOD ONE!!

Exactly. A lot of times, the original comments get blown out of proportion here. Connery isn't saying, "Hey my wife backhanded me so I slapped her back." He is saying "women" get worked up and the only way to deal with them when they're like that is to slap them.

No self defense. No fist fight. Slapping a woman for getting worked up. I wonder if she was worked up because he slapped her for not making his coffee correctly...

I wasnt talking about people on here, and I was more posing a hypothetical question about something that is pertinent to this situation. I think Connery is a jackass and I think those guys on that thread are even bigger assholes.

and no, violence isnt the answer no matter what your gender.

A lot of those guys on that horrible thread say "Well, it's OK for women to slap men..."

Since when? The only time I would ever strike a man is in self defense, and it sure as hell woudn't be a slap. Men are the victims of domestic violence too, and I wish to hell we would recognize all forms of hitting for what they are - abuse.

It is NEVER OK to hit.

And I just lost all my respect for Connery. Whodathunk a man with a reputation like his would slap a woman for not respecting his authoritah? I always think of abusers "Wow, that jerk must have NO self esteem."

Alot of women think it's ok for a woman to slap a man. While I would never compare it to a man beating a woman in the amount of damage it can do, it still doesn't make it right.

Clearly if men think it's ok for a woman to slap a man there is a larger culture of violence here at work, and clearly they have had experience with a woman hitting a man. Personally, I think the difference is that a man can do far more damage than a woman. Neither is ok though.

What's really odd is just yesterday I got flamed on a Keanu Reeves board for blasting his comments in Playboy about how some women seem to like violence. I brought up the Connery thing today and was called a prude and told to leave. This board is a piece of work, ugossip.net.

"I think the difference is that a man can do far more damage than a woman" Well, It's not just that. I don't think it is ok for a woman to slap a man but I think it is more reprehensible to hit someone that is less likely to be able to hit back or restrain you. And that’s true most of the time about men and women. It’s even worse to hit a child because they can’t fight back (well, that and many other reasons).
Didn’t we get reprimanded the most if we hit a younger kid when we were children? At least I did, maybe y’all were more civilized kids and never punched, bit, or scratched, or pulled pigtails of your playmates….

I don't think half of the people in the Digg thread were serious. The anonymity of the internet makes people a lot more bold than they may actually be. Granted, it would be interesting to replace the word "woman" with the racial slur of your choice and see what the reaction would be, since we all know sexism is a lot more accepted than racism.

As far as the domestic violence issue goes, women and men should not hit each other. It really bugs me when guys talk about not being able to hit a woman, though. That just implies that women are somehow inferior and more damage would be caused by the guy's mighty man-hands. If some guy actually smacked me, I would fight back, just like if a girl smacked me. And I am not a particularly strong woman, but I'm not weak either.

There is something wrong with Sean Connery when the only way he can think of to end a dispute is by smacking the other person. Male or female, if you can't end things without using violence, you're not looking hard enough for a solution.

But Mary B, more damage *is* done when a man hits a woman than when a woman hits a man. I remember when I played water polo in high school being pissed that even the skinny guys could throw a hell of a lot harder than I could, and I was a competetive swimmer at the time. Males just have a denser, bulkier muscle mass than females do. It sucks, but there's really nothing that can be done about it. I know that even though my boyfriend and I are roughly the same size (and can wear each other's pants, a fact that disturbs us both to no end), he could easily knock me on the floor if he wanted to. The physical brute strength of men and women is inherently uneven, which is why it's shittier for a man to use force against a woman than for a woman to use force against a man (although both are crap and belong in the realm of those who do not know how to ues cutting words properly).

Ack! "Use," not "ues."

It's more than the difference in physical strength; it's the way that the threat of violence has been used to control women. Hanging a white person in effigy is obnoxious. Hanging a black person in effigy evokes a very ugly time in our history. We all understand why the latter is much worse.

did anyone notice that most all of the anti-domestic violence comments were hidden?

this whole thing is completely outrageous

magpie_malone:

It's true that men build skeletal muscle faster than women do, but that doesn't mean that I couldn't do damage to a guy. Physical strength is just not as important as leverage. I learned some good techniques in a self defense class that I took last year that emphasized women's strengths (flexibility, taking men by surprise because they think you're too weak to fight back, knowledge of vulnerable points, etc.).

With enough training, women can be just as strong as men, physically or otherwise.

I think it's pretty lame when men or women use force against each other when it's not a situation that warrants violence. Like keeping someone from having the "last word".

I did notice that all the anti-domestic violence comments were dis-proportionally "buried" in the comment thread. The tendency of hostility towards those commenters, as well as the blatant insensitivity to the consequences of Sean Connery's words makes that thread very sexist, indeed. On top of that, as awall513 pointed out, many sites are labeling it as a 'comedy.' I ask you other commenters here to check out all these sites and see how many times they also post porn clips, which should cement the sexism of many viral video archivers, for pornography manages to degrade women even when it worships them (same goes for our many patriarchal religions).

Alot of women think it's ok for a woman to slap a man.

They're wrong, and I'd avoid them.

“With enough training, women can be just as strong as men, physically or otherwise.� No not physically. I mean, yes a female professional body builder can knock out an ordinary man but that’s very much beside the point. The point is that most women are not body builders, and aren’t trained in martial arts. I lift heavier waits than most girls I see at the gym but not as heavy as even the skinniest guys. Average women can’t physically subdue men and that’s why it’s uglier for a man to hit a woman than vice versa. No and I don't think it is OK for a woman to hit a man.

I'm not defending Sean or any of those assholes on Digg, but what was the context of this clip? Why is this important now if it was nearly 10 years ago? I mean, I'm always up for talking shit about a wifebeating type, but are we beating a dead horse by even talking about it?

I think this is something I needed to know about Sean Connery. It does make me see him in a different light.

And his comments are, really, inexcusable. I am completely freaked out that anyone jumped in this thread in his defense, and I can't even bring myself to look at the YouTube thread.

FYI: It is much worse when a man slaps a woman than it is when a woman slaps a man, even if equal force is applied, primarily because for thousands of years it was taken for granted that a man could slap "his woman" around to assert his dominance over her. It was, in other words, institutional violence. To say that it's no worse when a man slaps a woman than when a woman slaps a man is tantamount to saying it's no worse when a white man says the "N" word than it is when a black man says "cracker." It is worse. Much worse. Context matters.

Well, it says 1987, so nearly 20 years ago.

But apparently, despite the passage of twenty years, the world is still clogged with Neanderthals who are willing to slap, hit, or shake a woman if she starts getting uppity. Because isn't that what "getting worked up" really means?

A summary of their words:

"You need to keep your bitch in line! They don't appreciate the hard work you do all day while they're just lounging around eating bon bons. All she has to do is take a couple of minutes to get off her ass and clean the house, take care of the kids, run the errands, and work at her little "job," where she clearly doesn't work as hard as I do, because she doesn't make nearly as much money as I do. She also doesn't have as much responsibility, and the little bitch keeps whining about being passed over for promotions because she's a woman, as if a proper, pretty, little lady like her has any place in authority. Sometimes, I throw her a bone and let her think I give a fuck about her opinion, but really, I just want to shake her and tell her to get back in the kitchen and work on making her pot roast less dry."

Sean Connery can go fuck himself. I've never understood why he's so special. But him saying shit like that just lets all the misogynists come out of the woodwork to degrade and belittle women as if we're children, diminish all our work and accomplishments, and we're reminded of just how much work us feminists have left.

Apparently, Connery wasn't just whistling Dixie, either.

Depressing. I liked Connery until about an hour ago.

Cheers,

TH

I've read (though sadly I don't remember where) that men carry more upper-body strength, while women tend to be stronger in their back and legs, thus giving some credence to the "men hit harder."

Regardless, it isn't okay for either side to hit.

I I read the other day that Sean Connery lost half a billion dollars (yes, that's right, half a billion or $500 million) by turning down the role of Gandolf in "The Lord of the Rings" because he didn't "understand" the role or the concepts posed in Tolkien's book.

Karma is a bitch and she bites back.

What I found sad in that comment thread was the fact that even the men who said that they'd never hit a woman felt the need to call the men who said they would either "pussies" or "vaginas."
So maybe they adhere to a more chivalrous form of sexism than their brethren, but they still resort to insulting the men they disagree with by calling them women.

Sad.

As for the question, "Can a man hit a woman who is assaulting him?" My view is, if she's larger and stronger and that's his only recourse, then yes. But if a woman of average height & weight with no martial arts training attacks a man of average height & weight with no martial arts training, I think the odds are pretty good that that hypothetical man would be able to employ his greater height, weight and upper body strength to restrain the woman without hurting her--beyond some minor bruising--so that she can't continue to assualt him. A woman, on average, is much less likely to have that option when a man attempts to assault her. Therin lies the difference.

That said, ideally no one should hit anyone, be they man, woman or child, but if you find yourself in danger of significant injury or death from anyone you should defend yourself to whatever degree necessary to escape, regardless of the sex of your attacker.

“thus giving some credence to the "men hit harder."�

AM, have you ever arm wrestled with a man? Any man? A skinny man? If you had not read somewhere that they have stronger upper body then you wouldn’t believe that men are on average stronger than women by a lot? Women have stronger lower bodies but even that relative to their own upper bodies not relative to men’s lower bodies. Has anyone here ever played soccer with men?

I just find it odd that it should be a point of contention in this thread that men have on average bigger bones, bigger muscles (when they work out their muscles bulge a lot faster than n ours too) and therefore can apply more force.

All of that doesn’t make it ok for us to hit them. Though I once did hit a man, many years ago, because he grabbed my ass on a dark pedestrian bridge. ( No, I wasn’t "in danger of significant injury or death"). And I still remember the look of surprise on his face with immense satisfaction. And I’d do it again.

I don't know why either, sojourner. It's like some people can't admit that men are bigger because that would be a stereotype... but stereotypes do come from somewhere.

I mean, it doesn't even matter if men are bigger, because bigger hardly means better. Most women are bigger than me as well as most men, and I have no problem with that. It's still not ok for me to slap someone for being irritating.

I find it interesting how, though the mentalities of the commentary and Sean Connery are different, they are still incredibly sexist and flawed in logic. Sean Connery is obviously a sexist asshole who thinks women should be put in their place, and most of these people in the thread come from a slightly more modern mind-set, but think that violence is an answer to solving a problem they cannot manage to reason. I can understand both sides of the fence when regarding violence towards women while respecting women's rights; my male best friend and I slap, punch, and hit each other all the time (playfully), and how sexist would it be to suggest that this behavior is acceptable just because my friend is homosexual. If a man thinks I'm to fair and weak, just because I'm a woman, and upon this information deems that violence towards me would be wrong, I would call him sexist, just as I would a man who thinks I am best put in my place through violent intimidation. The attitude of the comments in the thread is not only disgusting because they are merely sexist, they are disgusting because they suggest that violence is the solution to frustration and that if women are going to be equal to men, we must partake in that violence simply because it is perpetuated in masculinity.

Sean Connery is clearly an asshole, but I strongly suspect that the majority of posters in the thread, especially the one quoted by prairielilly, are trolls. I can only read that quote with the impression that the poster is using biting sarcasm.

Just to clarify, when I said the bit about "significant injury or death" I wasn't implying that that is the only time any kind of violence is acceptable--just that in that situation you need not "pull your punch" as it were, but should fight back with all your strength without regard for whether or not you might severely injure the other person.
I guess it depends on what you consider "violence"--an open handed or closed-fist strike with a lot of force behind it is a definite "no" in my book. You giving your buddy a playful sock on the shoulder or me giving my cat a swat on the butt to get him off the coffee table, isn't.

Good for you, sojourner! When I was thirteen or so, my dad told me that as far as he was concerned, any man who touched or grabbed me without my consent was doing the equivalent of hitting first, and that I had every right to defend myself physically from such unwelcome advances. Just because the grabber claims that his move is sexual, not hostile, doesn't mean that he's right. If someone grabs your ass when you don't want him to, sock him.

Just thought I would mention that anyone interested in some excellent reading on the subject of the differences between genders and strength should read: The Frailty Myth: Redefining the Physical Potential of Women and Girls by Colette Downing.

What the fuck?! It's OK to hit somebody because you don't like what they're saying? Fuck you, Sean Connery, just plain fuck you.

I mean it, shithead. Come on over and slap me, asshole. I'll put you right the fuck out of business.

You know how angry that makes me? I'm actually ashamed to be Scottish because of him. He's such an asshole that he's made me irrational. Which is really, really hard to do.

You still have Ewan and that dish on Desperate Housewives.

Dougray Scott