"Message: Women are sexbot automatons you control with your manly scent (among other things)." Nice! Or maybe, "Women are sexbot automatons you control by giving us $9.95 (or whatever our crappy product costs)."

Maybe it's time to revive the whole "Proctor & Gamble is Satanist" meme.

I've always thought that axe smelled horrible.

Now I know why.

Yet another reason for women to be on top (financially, physically. . . you get the idea).

I feel compelled to quote one of my favorite movies:

"Girl: My God, what is that smell? Oh.
Guy: That's the smell of desire my lady.
Girl: God no, it smells like, like a used diaper... filled with... Indian food. Oh, excuse me.
Guy: You know, desire smells like that to some people
Coworker 1: What is that? Smells like a turd covered in burnt hair.
Coworker 2: Smells like Bigfoot's dick."

Someone needs to interpose the dialogue from Anchorman over a collage of the Axe commercials. That's my idea for any YouTube enthusiasts who'd like to take it up :)

"Axeholes" -- Crafty turn of phrase.

Come on, though, wouldn't it be great for women if such a product really existed? We could grab any random dork, spray him, and be guaranteed ecstasy. No more catfights; no more searching for Mr. Goodbar. No more staying with some loser because he gives good head.

Spungen:

Or if such a product existed for women. Say goodbye to men's expectations involving our ability to satisfy their sexual desires "without being slutty about it," look like centerfolds "without being high-maintenance," etc.

I always thought those Axe commercials were disgusting--especially the vicious "Order of the Serpentine" bodywash commercials about washing away "questionable hookups," which is presumably what happens in Axeworld if you use Axe while drunk--but this takes the cake.

I'd never wear Axe even if the commercials weren't offensive, because (a) it stinks and (b) any eau de toilette you spray all over yourself like you're neutralizing a chemical weapons spill is obviously designed more to cover up bad hygiene than anything else.

Cheers,

TH

Spungen - I'm totally with you.

Personally, I always found the Axe ads kind of funny. I thought that they were so silly and over the top that they were making fun of themselves. I still think that... but I appear to be in the minority here.

Does anyone else think that this is satire? Think of all the ads that try to subtly say "if you buy this product, you will get laid." Axe is saying it outright, which (in my opinion) points out how silly it is to think that something you purchase could ever make you sexy. Sexiness comes from things like self confidence and natural chemistry between people, and I like to imagine that we all know that. Am I being naive here or what?

High school boys totally fall for this crap. I used to teach, and the boys asked me to smell which of their various Axe body sprays smelled the best. I told them that they all smelled vile and that if they ever wanted a girl to like them they would throw it in the trash. None of them believed me.

I tried the rancid polecat Axe spray and all it got me was my car keyed.

wtf. do guys really buy into this shit?

DT, I think you might be a little naive here, just because these are commercials designed to sell products, not satirize a well-worn advertising technique by taking it to absurd extremes. I think what you suggest is maybe a little to highbrow for the product in question.

Speaking of sex selling--has anyone seen that hair color for men commercial with Keith Hernandez and Clyde "The Glide" Drexler? They're standing on the curb outside a woman's house, like sports announcers commenting on the end of guy's date. He has grey hair, and "strikes out." Then he comes back, with "natural" hair color, and she invites him in. Of course, the whole interaction is about as cheesy as humanly possible. Anyways, after she invites him in, they cut away to a shot of the product, then, when they come back, Hernandez and Drexler are standing outside the door. Like they're trying to hear what's going on or something. There's so much there to comment on, but I'll just leave it at saying how weird and creepy I think that last shot is (of course, all my comments here are either about how I think something is creepy or about how I want to see a well-armed matriarchy).

Junior high boys totally fall for that junk marketing. They fall for that junk marketing EN MASSE, then shower in the crap. I've had to step out of the classroom for fresh air because the AxeFumes were so thick. I witnessed two boys literally HOSING themselves down in the junk after basketball practice.

But yeah, the commercial is pretty dang awful. Goes well with the product, I guess.

Hey, that's Walt "Clyde" Frazier, not Drexler. The Glide is pretty much bald

That's a pretty tough message to get past most discerning males, but younger guys probably fall for it because they are used to hearing "you smell like ass" from their sisters or female friends.

Wow, those ads really are about as mean to men as it gets. Does Axe think all men are rubes?

When I expressed disgust at one of those ads, my High School daughter told me very few boys at her school wear Axe "because it smells nasty and the girls make fun of them." If they're going for some kind of self-referential humor, I think they missed the boat-- if I were them, I'd spend less time and money on commercials and more on a new formula.

I'm not sure if this is any worse than any of their other ads. I recently saw an Axe ad in a magazine that was just a woman's vagina in an ink blot. It was just a vagina, ass, and legs spread. I was at a loss for words to see such a tasteless, disgusting attempt to sell nasty smelling shit.

Susan, sounds like your daughter is surrounded by an awesome group of girls. Good for them, not buying into this shit!

Riot: It's like the old Bill Hicks joke about the ultimate advertisement: a completely naked woman with her legs spread apart, followed by the words "Buy xxx"

Who the fuck USES that stuff?

I swear an old NYT article said it was mostly high school boys...

sigh. that is really gross.

Is it just me--or do those reactions look more like fear than arousal?

their newest product, Axe Lab eau de toilette, appeals to male consumers in a really, really gross way.

And the older Axe products do not?

Anyway, what is it with so many Middle School age boys and stinky "personal care" products? I remember in Middle School, a certain subset of the boys used some sort of spray on "de-orderant" that actually smelled worse than their sweat (and it slightly triggered my allergies besides)!

Axe: The Drakkar of the '00s.

Only worse.

Axe: Malibu Musk for boys.

I don't mean to sound *too* shrill here, and I haven't been to the site (not much interest, actually) but the term "dose" in quotes is kind of made me think of the whole date rape drug idea.

Which reminded me of another poster who mentioned Bill Hick's joke. In a way, I don't think the joke covers the whole thing.

Its not selling just sex. Its selling sex *and* power.

Which considering the US has kind of fallen into this sado-sexual funk, makes complete sense.

The Drakkar of the '00s. - linnaeus

Hey I like the smell of Drakkar (Noir)!

Malibu Musk? Reminds me that we males are not the only gender with bizarre ideas of what personal care products smell good ...

DAS:

With regard to Drakkar (Noir), that's why I added the "only worse" part. The smell itself is fine (though it was not at all my preferred cologne). I associated it with guys "on the make" during my undergraduate years who thought that dude, like chicks *totally* love a guy who wears Drakkar.

Axe just strikes me as a less-mature version of that. But that's just me.

Axe is owned by Unilever, not Procter and Gamble. Unilever also owns Dove.

As a middle school teacher, I will vouch for the boys using Axe-shite ad nauseam. I, too, have opened the classroom door (couldn't leave, alas), because Axe fumes were so thick 'n' pungent. Also, when I taught high school, many of the boys were also Axe-shite-addicts. Naaaasty!

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I have been noticing that many males 14-25 have this awful chemical odor in addition to the usual smokers' body stench. You have confirmed my suspicions. In fairness to guys, perhaps they wear Axe to get back at the women in their age group who tend to put sickeningly-sweet fruity chemical grease in their hair and on their bodies. Personally I have always loved Ivory - thank God there are still women who smell 99 44/110s percent pure. Yummy.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I have been noticing that many males 14-25 have this awful chemical odor in addition to the usual smokers' body stench. You have confirmed my suspicions. In fairness to guys, perhaps they wear Axe to get back at the women in their age group who tend to put sickeningly-sweet fruity chemical grease in their hair and on their bodies. Personally I have always loved Ivory - thank God there are still women who smell 99 44/110s percent pure. Yummy.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I have been noticing that many males 14-25 have this awful chemical odor in addition to the usual smokers' body stench. You have confirmed my suspicions. In fairness to guys, perhaps they wear Axe to get back at the women in their age group who tend to put sickeningly-sweet fruity chemical grease in their hair and on their bodies. Personally I have always loved Ivory - thank God there are still women who smell 99 44/110s percent pure. Yummy.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I have been noticing that many males 14-25 have this awful chemical odor in addition to the usual smokers' body stench. You have confirmed my suspicions. In fairness to guys, perhaps they wear Axe to get back at the women in their age group who tend to put sickeningly-sweet fruity chemical grease in their hair and on their bodies. Personally I have always loved Ivory - thank God there are still women who smell 99 44/110s percent pure. Yummy.