I am deeply freaked out by the fact that the readers get to *vote* on who her date should be.

I am a 29-year-old virgin myself...and I shudder at having something so personal turned into a game show. I'm no prude, but this is just pathetic.

After checking out this contest on Jane....I feel that I may puke. The whole contest is ridiculous for a number of reasons, but really-you should check out the questions they ask these guys!

How many woman have you deflowered??????? Please!

Interesting. The entire thing seems to be her idea from start to finish (she contacted the magazine, rather than the other way around), and it seems to be less a matter of pimping than a matter of arranging dates that could eventually lead to a strong enough relationship that she'd be willing to have sex.

I find myself wondering if this particular method for arranging to meet people is really any worse than any other dating service -- they all, after all, function by filtering the applications of strangers through the advice of other strangers, in an automated fashion or otherwise. Presumably, she has something in common with other regular readers of Jane, so there is an elementary filter in progress here as well (though so little information is provided, perhaps it is insignificant).

Will there be a viewing of the white bed sheet post-date?

ack...

Timely piece since I just finished reading Paula Kamen's "Her Way" which has an awesome section on the power of choosing virginity.

You know, maybe I'm a cynic, but it wouldn't surprise me if this whole thing was bullshit. I mean- it just looks like a stupid publicity stunt to me. Who does this? I mean, if you're going to wait until you're 29 to screw someone- obviously you've attached some sort of meaning to the whole whoop-dee-do0, so why would you ask some magazine to pimp you out? I don't get it.

You know, maybe I'm a cynic, but it wouldn't surprise me if this whole thing was bullshit. I mean- it just looks like a stupid publicity stunt to me. Who does this? I mean, if you're going to wait until you're 29 to screw someone- obviously you've attached some sort of meaning to the whole whoop-dee-do0, so why would you ask some magazine to pimp you out? I don't get it.

Robyn, I read the backstory. I'm usually pretty cynical, but she went to a women's college and high school, and she was an awkward teen and has grown into a shy adult. It's a plausible story. I mean, we all know attractive women who get jerks making applications for access all the time, but can't seem to get a relationship off the ground.

As to why she would do it in a national magazine: she does comedy at open mike nights, and will chronicle the dates on her blog. She's giving herself an instant audience, apparently in the hope of jump-starting a career.

If none of it is bullshit, I applaud her self-confidence.

I find the whole thing suspect too, but if it is legit, I also find it understandable. I'm a 27-year-old virgin and I can't tell how sick to death I am of how big a deal everyone makes out of it. I can imagine resorting to outrageous methods to find a way to get it over with and have it be with someone I cared about and as a big bonus get the whole world to get off my back about it. A magazine cover wouldn't be my style, but hey whatever works for her.

p.s. It seems there's an internet community for everything except this. If anyone knows of one, I'd be interested.

JesC, I'm a 28-year-old virgin but find that most Internet communities along these lines are full of folks who are either deeply religious or deeply crazy or both. Martin Poulter's Celibate Life listserv is a welcome exception to the rule, or was when I belonged to it eight or nine years ago. Contrary to the list name, it's not just for folks who have chosen lifelong celibacy, but rather folks who, for whatever reason, have chosen a celibate lifestyle (usually temporarily, sometimes permanently).

Cheers,

TH

Mmmmm, how do I get to meet Vince Vaughn ... I know: think-up a "screwy" stunt (think she took that notion literally) that will get splashed across the "news", maybe the information will filter through and generate curiosity on behalf of the aforemetioned prey. Yeah, very suspect!

(BTW: one particular guy on the "list" is a bit of a worry, seriously)

...and if the magazine thing doesn't work out, she'll be putting her hymen up for auction on eBay! No reserve!

Seriously, though--this is somewhere between unbelievably pathetic, and just plain unbelievable. I imagine she's just doing it for the free publicity. I'm so sick of these "Look at me! Please pleeeeeze look at me!!" people who will do anything for 15 minutes (or even 15 seconds) of fame. Shock value is NOT, and never will be, an acceptable replacement for geniune talent, and fame is NOT the be-all and end-all of existence.

I dunno, if it's her idea, and she's not feeling pressured into it...and it's more of a "vote who I will date" rather than "vote who fucks me"...I don't think there's too much wrong with it.

If her goal is just to have sex, she can go lots of places for that. If she hangs in public at all, I wouldn't be surprised if a number of guys hit on her.

If her goal is a relationship, the magazine stunt is just as harmless as online dating (perhaps even much safer).

It is sad that she says she is doing it to get everyone off her back. Why are we so interested in the sex lives of others? I hope she finds happiness but otherwise couldn't care less about her love life.

The magazine will get lots of attention. And whether or not she meets someone to sleep with, I imagine she will get lots of material for her stand-up act. And we get to comment on her here. Everyone's happy!

I'm a 36 year old nonreligous virgin and I'm waiting to lose my virginity via long term boyfriend or my husband.I'm tired of seeing adult virgins over 25 being protrayed this way"Let me get rid of my virginity".
I think Jane magazine is just trying to use the word "Virgin" to sell magazines.This is sad.
I was watching CNN tonight and saw Sarah.Her "Real" goal is to meet more available men not lose lose her virginity by 30.Sarah hasn't been on a date with a man in a long time and that's how she kinda got the idea.She also said she's not going to grab the first man midnight Nov 9th(her birthday) and have sex with him. This tell me this is not about losing her virginity .

I think what Sarah is doing is very gauche, but I can entirely understand her sense of desperation.

I am 29 years old, never been laid, never been in love (with anyone who’s been in love with me), never been kissed. I am religious, but I am not “waiting� for marriage per se. I am not ugly, and I find that I am a likable enough fellow to women, but for some reason or another no one that I know of has found me physically attractive. I was home-schooled, and never went to college, and I feel uncomfortable with the “clubbing� scene.
I tried online dating this year, and met a young woman earlier this year about ten years younger than me, also a virgin, and we get on great, and I am attracted to her, but she doesn’t want to be “more than friends�, which I guess is just as well because I don’t want to marry her anyway, but it still was heartbreaking when she said that to me.

But the young woman does live in Europe, and I've never felt at ease with American women, so my recent experience proves at least one thing: that I am in the wrong "love market".
And possibly this is the same problem for Sarah- she needs to move out of Manhattan. Some of the prospective deflowerers (is that even a word?)look like assholes.