It's just another case of damned if you do, damned if you don't. Breastfeeding mothers DO NOT get the support they need to both breastfeed and *live public lives*. But if you choose not to breastfeed (for whatever reason) you're a bad mother who doesn't care about your child. Soon to follow, of course, is a "war" between mothers who breastfeed and mothers who don't. When of course, we should all be pointing our fingers elsewhere.

I remember going to a class on breastfeeding just before my daughter was born. The teacher asked people to volunteer reasons why not to breastfeed and then shot them down as so much stupidity. I thought a lot of the reasons were good (i.e. "I have to work and there's no place to pump except the dirty bathroom"). So the whole thing *really* pissed me off. Keeping in mind that I was there *because* I planned on breastfeeding (and in fact, I did for about a year), I came away from that class wanting to bottle-feed just to spite her! :o)

In the end, while I was on the "good mommy" side of breastfeeding, I was on the "bad mommy" side of putting my kid in full-time daycare at 6 weeks. I quickly learned that there is no winning this game...

This is just disgusting.

They are comparing giving your baby a bottle to putting his or her life in danger. This is not like driving without a car seat or failing to put a baby gate at the top and bottom of a staircase. Breastfeeding is complicated and not every woman can or should do it.

On behalf or all the moms who bottle-feed, I say to the government: WE GET IT! We leave the hospital and doctor's office with a handful of papers outlining the benefits of breastfeeding. Even the damn can of formula says that breastfeeding is best.
We don't need some spiteful commercial comparing us to mothers whose desire to have a good time outweighs their responsibility to keep their children safe. These commercials are not only offensive, they are entirely inaccurate as well.

I don't feel the least bit guilty about bottle-feeding either of my children, but then again I've never been one of those people who is overly-concerned with how other people view me or my family. Unfortunately, I could see other moms really taking something like this to heart, causing them to waste valuable time and energy second guessing this and every other decision they have made for their children. And I don't see how that could be good for any child.

I tried breast feeding and couldn't produce enough milk. Feeding times started to take an hour and a half and then an hour later I'd have to start over again. I went to a lactation consultant who not only made me feel guilty about my body not producing enough milk, but also made me feel guilty about having to supplement feedings with formula. It was the most terrible thing I've ever been through. I only gave up after I started getting depressed because I got no sleep. The really sad thing is that bottle feeding shouldn't make somebody a bad mom. What about the mom's that abuse their children?

Grrrrrr!! Why is it so hard for the medical profession to get this one right? I'm entirely with Barbara P on this one. The most negative comments I've had about breastfeeding have been from medical professionals - the consultant who was taken aback that I hadn't yet menstruated at 6 weeks post partum (hello?!!) and the GPs who told me off for still breastfeeding at 14 months. The WHO guidelines say 2 years - the medical profession need to get up to speed with this.

And yes, at the other end of the spectrum they need to be supportive not condemnatory about a woman's choice of nutrition for her baby. Although breastfeeding can be wonderful, and once established is sooooo much easier than having to sterilise bottles all the time (even if it does mean expressing at work, which is a depressing faff), but it can be really difficult to get started, and this is so often overlooked.

Mutter mutter mutter

I really hate this. As if it isn't bad enough that mommies and those who do not have children get pitted against each other, now the game of divide and conquer is being played against mommies who breast-feed and those that choose formula.

I breastfed my daughter for an extended period of time. However, I got sick and had to start bottle-feeding for awhile. My kiddo never did go back to breast-feeding after that. I sure don't need anyone telling me that I shouldn't have followed the advice my doctor gave me, especially when his advice was well within the framework of standard medical care.

I was breastfed, and I am grateful to my mother for making that decision---but, she was not working at the time, and was physically able to breastfeed, making it a plausible decision for her. Although I believe breastfeeding promotes a close bond between mother and child, I feel like that bottle-feeding moms can easily achieve that same closeness through other time spent with the child, and through lots of physical touch. I think the bond being made has less to do with the actual act of breastfeeding then it does the time spent together and the physical intimacy. The fact of the matter is, there is no one-size-fits-all solution to feeding a child; every mother is different, every child's preference is different and unique, and it would be very nice if the government chose to respect that, and leave personal decisions up to the people who have to make them.

I'm going to breastfeed at least once - I want to sit in a Starbucks after all the fuss they made awhile back. ;)

Seriously, though, it's getting ridiculous. They act like giving your baby formula is on par with giving it crack cocaine. LOTS of moms forumla-fed our generation and we turned out okay. Leave the decision up to the mom, and quit making her feel guilty.

Especially when lots of women still drink/smoke/use drugs while pregnant - go solve THAT problem first.

And then there are those of us who had no choice. I breastfed my daughter until she was 13 months old. However, she had her first formula at 4 days old, because she had lost weight to a dangerous level below her birth weight. She wouldn't gain weight for the first 3 months, and supplementing with formula basically saved her life. I get crazy when people start spouting about formula being "poison" and so forth. In a perfect world, we'd all breastfeed and it would be easy and would work for everybody. But that doesn't happen in the world I live in. And no one will make me feel guilty for using formula when exclusive breastfeeding failed.

My mother has three children, and tried to breast-feed all of them. She succeeded with my younger brother and I, but my youngest brother apparently kept biting her. It sounds strange, because he obviously didn't have any teeth, but they started to crack and bleed because they were inflamed and infected. She had to give up after a month.

The weird thing is... I think she still feels a little guilty about it.

In the end, while I was on the "good mommy" side of breastfeeding, I was on the "bad mommy" side of putting my kid in full-time daycare at 6 weeks. I quickly learned that there is no winning this game...

I suggest you feel like there's no winning, because you're being judged by people who are unable to accept that reality requires compromises. Don't let their warped unrealism get you down. :-)

This is awful and another attempt to drive a wedge between women. As a mother who breast fed her child for 14 months, I would never pass judgement on another mother who did not breastfeed. The decision has to made by each individual mother and the government should have no business getting involved.

It's so ironic that many of the same so called "breastfeeding advocates" in Congress are the same ones that to limit women's reproductive rights. This shows how anti-women these legistators really are

So how, then, do you all propose explaining to pregnant moms that, from a health perspective, breastfeeding is *by far* the best choice, without making moms who don't/can't breastfeed guilty? And on a budget a small fraction of that which the formula companies are using to imply that there really isn't much difference?

Why aren't you who can't breastfeed because of employment ANGRY, instead of guilty, that your baby is deprived of this advantage because of your company's policies, or your government's approach to health care and maternity leave?

Women in other countries have significantly longer maternity leave, with at least a percentage of their paycheck during that time, *and* national health services to help them breastfeed to boot. Why aren't we ANGRY that our babies and their moms don't have these things?

Moms deserve accurate info about feeding their babies. Some of those moms won't be able to breastfeed for all kinds of legitimate reasons - that's a shame, and they are right to feel sad. They and their babies have indeed missed something valuable and special - let's not minimize that.

We should be working to make the number of moms/babies who can't breastfeed smaller - but in order to do that, our society as a whole has to understand that such an investment is worth it. How will we get there if the message of the superiority of breastfeeding is watered down to avoid hurting anyone's feelings?

Moms who are feeling guilty about not breastfeeding should be blaming the patriarchy, not the folks who are trying to improve the health of moms and babies in this country.

Some of those moms won't be able to breastfeed for all kinds of legitimate reasons - that's a shame, and they are right to feel sad.

How will we get there if the message of the superiority of breastfeeding is watered down to avoid hurting anyone's feelings?

The teacher asked people to volunteer reasons why not to breastfeed and then shot them down as so much stupidity.

I think all of the changes you (Stargirl7) advocate would act to reduce the feelings of guilt without watering down the message, but in addition to that, the guilt and stupidity side of the propaganda needs to be dropped.

I think it's all a bit silly. Is breastmilk better than formula? No doubt!

Yet there are a myriad of things that are "better" for baby than the alternatives. No parent can cover them all. Parenthood is becoming a gaunlet of guilt pitfalls! Let the public be educated with those wonderful, cheery pamhplets that tell how great breastmilk is - and then lay off the moms! No more angry looks when you see a bottle come out of a bag - remember that IT'S NOT YOUR BUSINESS. That woman may have any number of legitimate reasons for using formula and even if she DOESN'T, it's still not anyone's place to approach her.

A woman should have the right to choose what to feed her baby; it's not like formula is poison; it's just not the best. I think we can say that about a LOT of things (I was fed lots of sugar growing up - not the best. I survived.)

i just talked to a cousin with a one-month-old son, who was on the verge of tears at how hard it's been to breastfeed. the upshot was that she's mentally and physically exhausted, she's tried everything, she's getting bitten and damaged, and the doctor says she's not a bad mother if she stops (but she clearly doesn't believe it).

i don't know how we can make women like my cousin feel better, but i don't think the mechanical bull commercial is the way to go.

Strange, but this discussion seems to be confined to moms living in Western countries. Whether we breastfed or not, all of the moms here have experienced mother-guilt. The issue at hand, however, has more serious, as in life-or-death, implications for women in the rest of the world - mothers who may not have access to clean water to santitize bottles and mix forumla if they choose not to breastfeed, and have little recourse if they are simply not able to do so. What's worse, these mothers are, and have been targeted by formula companies for years, who promote the notion that rich, Western women do not sully themselves by nursing their children. WHO has been boycotting Nestle for years for using such tactics to sell their "Carnation Good Start" brand. Go here for more: Baby Milk Action.

I wonder, should this news change the terms of the discussion? In the past, liberal feminists have been charged with ignoring the impact culturally confined rhetoric has on women around the world. I don't mean to imply that the lack of clean, private places to express milk in corporate America isn't a pressing issue, but rather, I wanted to broaden the scope a bit. Mother-guilt seems to be a given, no matter where you are. There are a million things to feel bad about. But when I compare this study (which is suspicious, I'll admit) to the reality faced by billions of women and babies around the world...

Funny - from the 50s to the 70s, women were encouraged NOT to breastfeed, and were given injections after they had their babies so that their milk would dry up. Formula was far superior to breastmilk, they said. Jeez all-knowing medical community, make up your damn minds already!

Showing an ad depicting the mechanical-bull-riding-equals-not-breastfeeding-your-child is misleading, inaccurate and unecessarily hurtful. Another way, I suppose, to sequester women to their homes - push breastfeeding as the ideal, and then disallow it in public.

The issue at hand, however, has more serious, as in life-or-death, implications for women in the rest of the world - mothers who may not have access to clean water to santitize bottles and mix forumla if they choose not to breastfeed, and have little recourse if they are simply not able to do so.

The International Breast Milk Project is a fledgling organization that is setting up a milk bank to benefit women in developing countries who are unable to breastfeed. Closer to home, there is also the Human Milk Bank Association of North America. Unfortunately, there don't seem to be very many milk banks available in the U.S. yet. Perhaps greater support of milk banks would be another way to support providing babies with as much access to breast milk as possible without punishing women who are unable to breastfeed?

Well I'm a bit late on the post, but this issue is important to me. I've commented on it in another posting.
I breast fed my son for two months. It was by far one of the most painful and emotionally debilitating things I have ever endured. I had intense pain the entire time and never once enjoyed it. I couldn't even relax because the pain was so bad, I just focused on getting through it, just like I did during labor, breathing techniques and everything. I called lactation consultants and my obgyn and read tons on the subject both before and after the birth. I finally gave up breastfeeding and lost so much sleep and so many tears because of guilt. My baby on the other hand was fine. In fact, once I gave up the breastfeding, I could actually enjoy the time I spent feeding with my son. Still, its hard to express how guilty I felt about not continuing to breastfeed. In fact, years later I still feel guilty.
Its ridiculous that I feel this way. Honestly, my son has always had FAR better health than his breastfed cousins (he never even had the gastrointestinal problems that bottle fed babies are said to suffer). His physical development is appropriate. And he's extremely intelligent. His teachers want him to start a gifted program next year.
So in my case, bottle feeding seems to have worked out for all the parties involved. This includes my husband who hated seeing me in pain and later loved feeding his son.
I don't know why people are always pushing the breastfeeding leads to bonding thing. I know bonded with my son the second that I held him. Furthermore, everything that we shared in together increased our bond. We had a cosleeper, we took baths together, I held him constantly, and loved staring into his eyes while I fed him. There is an amazing bond betwen my son, his father, and me.
On the other hand, I know that my sister breastfed for a year. She fed the baby so often that she would do bills and make phone calls while he was on the breas, just so she could get things done. Good for her, I say, but you could hardly call that bonding. She also has a close relationship with her boy.
Finally, to hell with them for trying to make women feel guilty. Its simply not always reasonable/possible to breastfeed. Millions of people have turned out fine without a drop of breastmilk. Breastfeeding is an amazing, beneficial thing. It should be encouraged. (I'll even try it, if I ever give birth again). But not out of guilt.

I really wish there were a less political, more practical attitude taken toward breastfeeding, so people could get the information that suits their needs without having to wade through all the propaganda.

I'm breastfeeding as I write this. Like some other commenters mentioned, I don't seem to have enough milk (baby was induced early and I was directed to supplement with formula), so no matter how long I spend breastfeeding I still have to give bottles. I'm pretty much always either nursing or pumping. I've joined La Leche League and seen lactition consultants. The party line seems to be, "Well, you're just supposed to nurse all the time, what's the problem?" (The fact that I'm trying to work also goes against the party line.) There doesn't seem to be any guidance or encouragement for a modified approach -- everything contemplates breastfeeding exclusively. It's like you're either in the breast club or you're not.

Don't ever feel guilty. My daughter is breastfeeding exclusively, and for the first 3.5 months spent her life attached to the couch doing exactly that. She had that luxury, her Grandmother and I took split shifts of 7 weeks each to pick-up the slack. Her partner cooked, washed-up, bathed the baby, changed her and all other baby duties etc. All she had to do was nurse and nurture the baby and take care of her personal needs. All was very fulltime and exhausting for 3 people let alone one.

Everytime she grows (constantly) she nurses for longer to build-up supply, everytime she "drowned" she stopped nursing too soon ad nauseam, though she did quickly learn to shut-off the flow by clamping down. And so it goes on. As for pumping I don't know how you do it, fine if they run to a schedule but if not then there is nothing left for a top up.

Sometimes too, especially for sensitive women the pain just shoots straight through you, more so in cold weather.

I breastfed my son for 6.5 months, he required very few feeds per day (6 hourly), even then I had to initiate, he grew and grew ... rotund little cherub. My daughter on the other hand screamed and screamed (put on good weight) had to add solids at 4 months ... still screamed and screamed. Well, what do you know ... I gradually weened over two weeks at 10 months and as soon as she was off breastmilk, guess what - no more screaming.

Even now as a 29 year old some foods just go straight through her, causing a lot of pain in the process. So obviously I must have been eating something that disagreed with her ... most likely cow's milk.

So DON't struggle to the point where you are miserable, but whatever you do DON'T feel guilty besides who says that your breastmilk isn't more contaminated than goat or cow's milk. One thing though, do change polycarbonate bottles frequently ... as they break down they leach Bisphenol A into the milk.

Women need to band together, these people - midwives and lactation consultants etc all have contradictary methods ... they really are very slack, in fact downright irresponsible. When my daughter was in hospital, one would say this, then another would come and dress her down for doing exactly what the other had suggested ... these people need to get their act together and stop harassing mothers ... there are more important things in life ie bonding with your child so that you become a family.

PS I should have said: I breastfed my son for 6.5 months before introducing solids (I still breastfed him beyond that point) ie every baby is different. Hence the comparison with my daughter. Same mother, same boobs, different baby.