Well, here's my sleep-deprived, excess-heat-affected, completely knee-jerk take on this.
The Lap Pillow is disturbing, but not terribly. Mostly it looks uncomfortable. Ballsies? Just stupid. I don't quite get the mouse pad. I mean, if you're on your computer, you can find pictures of real breasts. Is this supposed to be sort of a cheap tactile aid?
Pimp costume? Parents who would buy that are disturbing, not the costume itself. Dick shirt? Hard to be disturbed by something that, well, needs to use such large letters to make its claim, if you get my drift. The placenta chair doesn't scream "placenta", so it gets a pass from me. Antenna Stripper - a great way to show you're a dumbass, and who couldn't use a handy identifier to help weed 'em out? Cell phone girlfriend is just pitiful. The Durex ad is a tad disturbing, but there's so much advertising that is. Seems odd to market a product that presumably has most appeal to the fellator from the point of view of the fellatee, but oh well.
Vulva purse - possibly bad taste, not particularly worrisome. I wonder if they make them with teeth? Pregnant key chain would be seriously disturbing with one change: Make it a real fetus.
That leaves the toilet, which seems to me to go beyond the normal objectification and tackiness into the realm of errrrgggghhh. Nothing like equating elimination and intercourse, is there? It gets my vote, for what it's worth.

While the girlfriend lap pillow is pretty damn creepy, I think I'm going to have to vote for the pregnant torso key chain...this is probably because I was the one who found it, and the fact that it was being sold in a toy store. Nothing funner to play with than a headless and limbless baby receptacle!

This is actually quite a coincidence...This morning, I was riding behind a truck with silver "truck nuts" dangling from the rear bumper. I was thinking to myself, "are those balls??" and now I know that they are, indeed, balls. CLASSY.

Do you have links to web site where these are sold?

I'd like to buy a few of them.

I'm going with either the child pimp costume or the keychain. All of them are fucked up in their own special ways, but these two are particularly weird to me.

Toilet, pimp costume, blow job ad... toilet, pimp costume, blow job ad. So hard to decide. Coin toss says:

Pimp costume. Because it hits the trifect: sexist, racist, for little kids.

I kind of like the vulva purse, though. And I'm used to thinking of "VCF" as "Vaginal Contraceptive Film," which is actually a pretty handy little product--spermicide on the go, as it were.

TrifectA.

I vote for the truck balls, they combine two wonderfully hideous patriarchal together, rubber balls and trucks. I'm a firm believer that no one needs rubber balls on their truck, and that 90% of the people who own trucks do not need trucks. For comibining two symbols of over the top masculinity, I think the truck balls should win.

The woman toilet. Symbolically pissing & shiting on or in a women is the worst for me.

I'm giving the pillows and the mouse pad a pass because the Japanese are weird and I don't want to be judgemental. The testicle neck chain and car accessories are... in astonishingly poor taste, but I can live with poor taste. The vulva purse gets an a-ok from me due to repurposing via the addition of teeth. The child's pimp costume and the toilet are easily the 'winners' here.

The vaginal cleansing films get a solid runner up.

The keychain.

Headless, limbless baby receptacle, indeed. The other ones all merited an eye-roll, but this one sent shivers down my spine.

When I was directed here from Pandagon I thought nothing could match or top the fetus keychain. I may be wrong--the toilet is creepy. So which is creepier--women as headless incubator or as headless toilet? In terms of hatred for women, the toilet. But in terms of a THREAT to women--the keychain.

So I'm voting for the keychain.

I don't know if I'm the only one, but that mouse pad repulses me a little more than the rest. Perhaps because I can imagine pent-up, snivelling college freshmen feverishly trolling sites with one of those close at hand. "Oh, my beautiful, chesty mouse pad girl, you're the only woman who understands me..."

Something's just wrong with that, I think..

I have no idea where you ladies find these objects, but my vote goes for the women toilet seat. Seriously, it can’t get much lower than that shit....literally.

Although, I’m not going to lie- the pregnant key chain was a close second.

Quite an amusing contest, but I can't believe you left out AbsorbShun -- the product that deals with the horrible problem of "excess vaginal moisture during lovemaking."

Although I'm dismayed by your omission of AbsorbShun (see my comment above), IMO it can't compete with the grossest of these products. I gotta go with the Woman Toilet Seat for sheer misogynistic sickness, although the Pregnant Torso Keychain is a close second.

Definitely the durex blow job ad.

Toilet, no doubt about it.

The pregnant keychain gets my vote. Quite an eloquent summary of the right's view of women...

Although the toilet is definitely disturbing too.

My top vote is torn between the toilet and the baby-in-a-torso keychain. It looks like the baby might be free-floating. Is it? Just curious.

Kid's Pimp costume comes in third.

i think i have to go with the toilet...that's about as bad as it could get. a close runner up for me would be the keychain, especially after hearing vanessa describe it. i'm definitely going to remeber this for xmas as part of my "if you ever buy this shit for me, i'll kill you" list.

I vote for the toilet. Nasty, degrading, not even a little bit funny. Also ugly and poor user interface design.

The torso/fetus is disturbing, but I could see buying one as a gag gift. The pimp costume is child abuse, but somehow I think that any kid whose parents buy him that suit has deeper problems, the kind that will lead him to buy the toilet when he grows up.

The VCF is just another in a long line of defective pussy products - AbsorbShun is much worse.

You know what would be cool? - if the torso/fetus was a game where you have to juggle the fetus into birth position, and then squeeze and out pops the baby. And it's Jesus!

The toilet is the worst. I vote for the toilet.

Pregnant woman key-chain is the worst, especially considering it is sold in a toy store. As I was scrolling down, I thought that is might be positive, until I saw the FLOATING CHILD.

I thought the toilet was just in poor taste, until I read some of the other posts. It's second.

Vaginal Cleansing Film is a very close third. I am so sick of this, "Ladies, you need to shove more shit in your body to smell 'fresh'." Give me a break. If you have normal hygiene, you shouldn't need to smell fresh. And fresh doesn't smell like "spring breeze" or "chamomile". Those are scents for potpouri, not you vagina.

You may to have to pull the child pimp costume from the voting. It looks like the company no longer has it on its website.

I'm voting for the headless 'woman as transparent vessel' keyring.

Ugh, just because it so sums up well the anti-choice position on women.

Though the toilet seat and the vaginal cleansing film were VERY VERY close behind ... *shudder*

The toilet and the keychain are (rightly so) the clear frontrummers, but I think we're giving the t-shirt a bit of a free ride.

It's blatantly misogynistic without even trying to be funny (such as the classic "200,000 battered women and I'm still eating mine plain").

Now that I think of it, that sorta undermines my argument. There are hundreds of flat-out unapologetically sexist or misogynistic t-shirts out there, but very very few pregnant-torso keychains or woman-shaped toilets.

Here's a quote from AbsorbShun's website to illustrate it's creepiness.

"But hey, even if you do get sore genitals, it's all worth it, because AborbShun 'Makes men feel larger.'"

And goddamn if that ain't the most important thing.

(Aie, nevermind, that quote wasn't from their website, but the blogger's comments. Withdrawn.)

I second the t-shirt vote. What's scary about that is that, obviously, people are comfortable enough displaying "blatant misogyny" in public to the point where a man could wear it without a qualm. Also, while the other products are mostly in bad taste and are definitely indicative of some fucked-up attitudes, the T-shirt is the only one that explicitly declares a sentiment that can get women hurt or killed.

But, I kind of liked the vulva purse and placenta chair. I guess those depend on the context in which they're being displayed.

(As I type this, there is a commercial on Comedy Central about how history is being made by Pam Anderson being the first woman to be roasted on their network and they'll be celebrating her "incredible body -- of horrible work". Damn, feminists, I think our work is done!)

I think the pimp costume is most disturbing. Most of the others could be considered novelty or joke items (and in regards to the "dick shirt", I've also seen a female version). The vagina cream...eh, I don't care what other people do to their own vaginas. And the placenta chair did not look enough like a placenta to me. But the pimp halloween costume was intended 1. to be actually used and 2. for children.

I vote for the woman toilet and the blow job ad. They're like promos for the current national (U.S.) attitudes towards women...

Well, I actually think the boyfriend pillow is quite disturbing, especially since

> The pillow comes with two removable shirts its owner can use to bone-up on washing and pressing.

I wouldn't even do the pressing for a real life boyfriend and I don't like the indication that women need a 'strong, comforting male pillow' to feel good. Really, if you're lonely, call a friend.

1)Toilet
2)keychain
3)T-shirt

Toilet and incubator tied for first for epitomizing the "woman as object" mentality.
Then the blowjob ad, but the t-shirt just missed making the top three.

girlfriend lap pillow - i want one
boyfriend pillow - doesnt go with my decor
ballsies necklace - shouldnt they be brass?
busty mouse pad - probably will help with carpel tunnel
child pimp costume - mixed feelings....both my daughters wanted to dress up as hookers for halloween when they were teens...seems harmless...although that kid in the picture seems a little young.
tshirt - i am all for clothing that identifies assholes so i dont waste any time with them finding out for myself.
blowjob ad - i absolutely love it....just need one of a guy for a gay mag...maybe with pop up ears/handles.
cell phone girlfriend - digital pet for lonely guys....who am i to judge.
placenta chair - very nice design...i want one covered in red velvet.
stripper kittens - id put a male stripper doggie on my antennae.
pregnant torso key chain - ok thats freaking me out.
truck nuts - needs a cock ring.
woman toilet - i absolutely love it and would definitely put one in my apt....esp if it came with a padded seat....nothing that comes out of the human body offends me as long as the intent is not to harm....i love pee....its warm and erotic....i can thnk of all kinds of things to do on that toilet that the design would just enhance.
vaginal cleansing film - i dont douche or spray but i am neurotic about cleaning my pussy....everyone says i have the best smelling pussy they ever sniffed....i wish more women were as fastidious as i am....but whats the difference between these and baby wipes?
vulva purse - i like anything pink.

I have to go with the toilet. I mean, it doesn't even have a head. Women have heads, don't they know.

Followed closely by the mousepad and the cell phone. God, it's so hard to pick.

Ah, you've obviously never seen the "I [heart] Gitmo" CHILDREN'S CLOTHING line on cafe press.

Nothing says patriotism like using an infant to support a torture center.

Tie.

Pregnant-torso-with-fetus and woman-toilet-thing.

It's exceedingly creepy that these products seem to think that recieving/carrying men's sperm or other excrement of choice is a more important part of a woman than who she is, up to the point where neither of them think she needs a head.

On the other hand, neither toilets or incubators have consciousness. Men can't feel manlier subjugating something that doesn't notice it's being subjugated.

The girlfriend/boyfriend pillows are just silly.

You wanna hang a set of balls around your neck? At least have the decency to have removed them yourself and gotten them bronzed. What kind of person thinks this is attractive neckwear??

Child pimp costume...this bears consideration. My kids wouldn't know what a pimp is, so moving from coastal city to middle of freakin nowhere has paid off in that regard. At least the site doesn't sell the costume anymore, and one hopes that it is because most parents wouldn't even consider buying it.

The T-shirt, while stupid, offensive and likely wrong, would just provide me and mine with a great opportunity to snigger or come up with pithy insults. I'll bet he gets that a lot.

They have flavored condoms now? Cool! I have to admit that more than a few things bug me about this ad - above and beyond the clever juvenile artwork that is making some ad guy really, really rich. What the hell is in her hair? I'm debating whether she's brown or just unnaturally tan. Her shoulders are so narrow that she resembles a pre-teen -- and for me that's what puts the ad in the running for most icky product.

Phone girlfriend? If that's the best ya got, babe, have at. With any luck, your unrealistic view of women will continue on in your life and you'll never date.

The placentero chair is just poorly named. The intention seems to have been good.

Stripper kittens and truck nuts are public service devices to tell you that the vehicle is being driven by an insecure asshole. These same guys own the mousepad, or would if they were allowed to touch the computer.

I can ignore the purse (though I like the teeth idea) and even the film, though the idea that my vagina should smell like herb tea or poupourri squicks me out.

Like so many others here, it's down to the toilet or the keychain.

I find the keychain deeply disturbing, largely because this headless, limbless thing carrying the baby is also supposed to tote around your fucking keys. Chain that bitch up and keep her breeding. Oh, man. Besides, a baby at that stage of development should not float free. It should have it's head pressing firmly down on the pubic bone and up against the bladder. I wonder if they'd make breech babies, too? You know, to be inclusive....

The toilet has such issues....not the least of which is the bondage attire. What is this supposed to do for the user - say "sit here and I'll crush you with my impossibly long legs? Yeah, that would make me want to pee there. If you're standing up, you'd be at eye level with those giant nipples, right? Tell me that isn't intimidating. If this chick stood up, she'd be a hell of a lot taller than any guy - providing, you know, she had a HEAD. I don't know about the whole taking a dump in her body, because it looks to me like she's actually behind the toilet, embracing it. Upon further inspection (the pic where the legs are over the toilet seat) I think she's actually protecting it. There's something very predatory about the whole thing. If I had one, I would hesitate to whip my dick out anywhere near this horrific sculpture.

I think the keychain wins, but only by a very slim margin.

I vote for the toilet - peeing in a headless woman? Yikes! The vaginal cleansing film comes next.

I vote for the toilet. The keychain comes in a close second. I do like the purse though.

another vote for the toilet. that thing is sick.

eeeck. either the toilet, or the keychain. it's a toss-up.

It's the keychain for sure.

I think the toilet seat if for anal retentive guys who need a dominant mommy figure to help them eliminate/masturbate. Scary, sure, but not overtly misogynistic like the keychain.

The vaginal dental film, for playing on paranoia and insecurities.

I actually have one of those keychains, given to me along with a lot of other equally amusing stuff from an abstinence site by a friend who knew I find perverse knick knacks like this amusing.

Looks like the toilet has it, unless there's a last minute influx of keychain votes. By my count, the vote so far (counting Jessica's vote in the post itself) is:

Toilet 14 full votes + 4 half votes = 16
Keychain 9 full votes + 4 half votes = 11
Pimp Costume 2 full votes + 2 half votes = 3
Blowjob Ad 2
Vaginal Cleansing Film 2
Mouse Pad 1
T-Shirt 1
Truck Balls 1

No votes for the boyfriend and girlfriend pillows, ballsies, cell phone girlfriend, placenta chair, stripper kittens, or vulva purse.