shirtless guys

Let’s talk about the “Dad Bod”

“In case you haven’t noticed lately, girls are all about the dad bod” proclaims the opening line of Clemson University student Mackenzie Pearson’s now viral article Why Girls Love the Dad Bod. 

Oh, are we now? Are we all all about the dad bod?

I will honestly admit, when all this dad bod business started making its way across the Internet I thought this was a satirical piece. After reading, and re-reading, and re-re-reading Pearson’s article, I’ve come to wish this was satire.

Aside from the sweeping generalizations she makes, Pearson’s insanely sexist tone makes my skin crawl. Let’s examine her cringe-worthy “reasons that girls are crazy about the dad bod” one at a time, shall we?

Reason 1: “It doesn’t intimidate us.” Ok, well, that makes sense. Why would you want to be with someone who intimidates you, physically or otherwise? But wait a minute…Pearson isn’t talking about intimidation, she’s actually talking about insecurity; more specifically, a woman’s tendency to be insecure in her own body.

Few things are worse than taking a picture in a bathing suit, one being taking a picture in a bathing suit with a guy who is crazy fit. We don’t want a guy that makes us feel insecure about our body. We are insecure enough as it is. We don’t need a perfectly sculpted guy standing next to us to make us feel worse.

Pearson’s not wrong in assuming the majority of women are uncomfortable in, or unhappy with their own bodies According to a study published in the Journal of Adolescent Health, 81% of 10 year olds are afraid of becoming fat. And the National Institute of Mental Health reports that only an estimated 5 to 15% of people with anorexia or bulimia are male. She is certainly wrong, however, in asserting that there are only a few things worse than taking a picture in a bathing suit. (War? Famine? Genocide? Poverty? Stubbing your pinky toe on the coffee table in the middle of the night? Need I go on…?) The fact that she’s claiming not just her body image, but the body image of woman everywhere, is so easily swayed by the person standing next to them is insulting. No, you shouldn’t be with someone that makes you feel insecure about your body–but if merely standing next to someone potentially more fit than yourself immediately causes this discomfort, there are bigger problems at hand.

Reason 2: “We like being the pretty one.” Ummmm – what? Can someone please explain to me when it became a rule of modern dating that only one half of a couple was allowed to be “the pretty one”? Is Pearson implying only one party can be deemed attractive, or does she (or, well, according to her the female population in general) strictly strive to be more attractive than her partner? Also, since when is physical attraction not subjective? Last time I checked, beauty was in the eye of the beholder…

We love people saying “they look cute together.” But we still like being the center of attention. We want to look skinny and the bigger the guy, the smaller we feel and the better we look next to you in a picture.

I don’t think there is a single aspect of this argument that I can agree with. Again Pearson is implying that a woman’s opinion of her body and herself is strictly contingent on the appearance of the person standing next to them.

Reason 3: “Better cuddling.”

No one wants to cuddle with a rock. Or Edward Cullen. The end.

So the thought process here is that bigger is better? What about all those naturally skinny dudes? What’s wrong with their cuddles? Also – have you ever cuddled with a dad bod-having dude? I have – and you know what? It gets hot. Like, actually, physically, makes sweat come out of my pores. Not great.

Reason 4: “Good eats.”

The dad bod says he doesn’t meal prep every Sunday night so if you want to go to Taco Tuesday or $4 pitcher Wednesday, he’d be totally down. He’s not scared of a cheat meal because he eats just about anything and everything.

So now we’re inferring what this general population’s eating habits are like based solely on their appearance? Awesome. I think the fact that this reason concludes with “he eats just about anything and everything” is what really gets me. What kind of assumption is that? Newsflash: healthy food can also taste good. Newsflash number two: what is to stop you from attending Taco Tuesday without him? If you want tacos – go get tacos. Let him have his salad and leave him in peace!

Reason 5: “You know what you’re getting.” This one – ah… this one. I’m so glad she saved this reason for last because it literally made me laugh out loud.

Girls tend to picture their future together with their guys early on. Therefore, if he already has the dad bod going on, we can get used to it before we date him, marry him, have three kids. We know what we are getting into when he’s got the same exact body type at the age of 22 that he’s going to have at 45.

First and foremost – no one, I repeat NO. ONE. has the same body at 45 that they had at 22. It’s just not possible. Second – I’m not saying there is anything wrong with picturing what your future may look like with a new person – regardless of their body type – but I don’t know which bothers me more; the fact that she says the dad bod is something you “can get used to” (did you not start this ridiculousness off by declaring you’re “all about the dad bod”? Do you know go on to say you not only like it, but love it and want some more of it? What’s to get used to then! Anyways…), or the fact that she makes another sweeping generalization that all women have their whole lives planned out from the very beginning of a new relationship. What are you doing girl?! Trying to make us all look crazy?

Perhaps it’s the fact, when push comes to shove, that this is an educated woman making these statements that bothers me the most. She is not only making glaringly untrue remarks, she’s perpetuating the stereotypes of female insecurity and self-centeredness while also finding a way to objectify men in the process. If I wasn’t so busy being nauseous, I’d probably be impressed.

Header image: The Odyssey

Disclaimer: This post was written by a Feministing Community user and does not necessarily reflect the views of any Feministing columnist, editor, or executive director.

Providence, RI

Chris Cas is a Rhode Island native that currently resides in Providence, and is the mother of two adorable little fur babies (cats) – Ozzy and Sharon. When she's not writing, either personally or professionally, you can find her curled up with a hot cup of tea and a good book, or binge watching Parks & Recreation. You can read more of her musings and ramblings on her blog 21st Century 20-something.

Chris Cas is a Rhode Island native that currently resides in Providence, and is the mother of two adorable fur babies (cats) – Ozzy and Sharon.

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