bride and groom

Quote of the Day: “Men used to marry to have sex” so they no longer have an incentive

Suzanne Venker is back at Fox News doing what she does best: blaming feminism for something everything. This time, it’s feminism’s fault that men supposedly don’t want to get married anymore. Why? Because there’s exactly “nothing in it for them.” 

Beyond the fact that there’s no actual evidence of the “problem” that Venker is addressing, this quote really drives home what a sad view of romantic relationships between men and women anti-feminists like Venker have:

Men used to marry to have sex and a family. They married for love, too, but they had to marry the girl before taking her to bed, or at least work really, really hard to wear her down. Those days are gone.

When more women make themselves sexually available, the pool of marriageable men diminishes.

After this point, Venker defiantly writes, “Scoff if you wish. Call me a fuddy-duddy. But how’s that new plan working out?” as if she imagines feminists’ problem with this statement would be its prudishness and not the idea that men need the incentive of sex to marry — and that the era when men had to “wear [women] down” to get laid were the good ole days.

As for how the new plan’s working out? Personally, I can safely say that even if I end up a life-long spinster, I will be thankful to live in a time when people marry out of love, mutual respect, and a desire for companionship.

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St. Paul, MN

Maya Dusenbery is executive director in charge of editorial at Feministing. She is the author of the forthcoming book Doing Harm: The Truth About How Bad Medicine and Lazy Science Leave Women Dismissed, Misdiagnosed, and Sick (HarperOne, March 2018). She has been a fellow at Mother Jones magazine and a columnist at Pacific Standard magazine. Her work has appeared in publications like,, Bitch Magazine, as well as the anthology The Feminist Utopia Project. Before become a full-time journalist, she worked at the National Institute for Reproductive Health. A Minnesota native, she received her B.A. from Carleton College in 2008. After living in Brooklyn, Oakland, and Atlanta, she is currently based in the Twin Cities.

Maya Dusenbery is an executive director of Feministing and author of the forthcoming book Doing Harm on sexism in medicine.

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