13630774075_6ef2e28ddd_b

Street Harrassment Doesn’t Get a Day Off

Did you know last week was International Women’s Day?

My street harasser didn’t realize that.

He didn’t realize that night, the very eve of this celebration of female accomplishment, when he was yelling out to me. He didn’t realize that it was a day to recognize the progress we’ve made towards gender equality.

We vote.
We wear pants.
We run companies.
We’re breadwinners.
We keep our last names.

But this man didn’t seem to know. He had no clue.

To me, I was still just a woman… a girl.

Someone he could arbitrarily call out to. Out of some twisted sense of offering a compliment? In a misguided attempt to get laid? I’ll never know.

Instantly, my world shrunk. I felt small, weak. Vulnerable. My breath grew short. My steps grew faster as I made my way to my apartment. I was afraid.

I don’t feel in command of the physical space I’m in. I don’t feel in control of my own body. “Am I showing too much cleavage? Are my pants too tight?”

All sorts of panicked thoughts run through my head…

Will anyone follow me home tonight? Could I defend myself with keys in between my knuckles? Am I within range of anyone who could hear me scream?

I wonder if I should stop taking Ubers. Or ride public transit at night. Or walk in my neighborhood alone this late.

Like every similar encounter, it started simple. A whistle. A yelled compliment. A lewd observation.

Nonresponse triggers vitriol. Being told to smile more. Being told to lighten up. To learn how to take a compliment. I should be flattered.

This post has been written before. It isn’t groundbreaking. It isn’t news. It’s so painfully normal, I don’t even blink. I just absorb it and move on.

But I just thought, maybe… maybe today. Maybe just for this one day, I could be less afraid. I could feel safe.

I was wrong.

Header image credit: Paul Weaver/Flickr

Disclaimer: This post was written by a Feministing Community user and does not necessarily reflect the views of any Feministing columnist, editor, or executive director.

Boston

Melissa is a writer and grammar nerd, as well as an aspiring snowboarder, semi-professional kickball player and occasional knitter. By day, she manages a team of content marketers in the tech industry. Follow her @melnazar.

Melissa is a marketer, aspiring snowboarder and occasional knitter from Boston.

Read more about Melissa

Join the Conversation