In his new Netflix stand-up special, Buried Alive, Aziz Ansari takes on just how weird the institution of marriage is…
“Imagine if marriage didn’t exist, and you’re a guy and you ask someone to get married. Imagine what that conversation would be like. You’d be the guy and you’d be like,
[guy's voice]: Hey, so we’ve been hanging out all the time, spending a lot of time together and everything.
[girl's voice]: Yeah, yeah. I know.
[guy's voice]: I wanna keep doing that … til you’re dead. I want to keep hanging out with you until one of us dies. Put this ring on your finger so people know we have an arrangement.”
[girl's voice]: Who’s that guy?
[guy's voice]: It’s a priest. I want you to swear to god you won’t back out of this deal.
[girl's voice]: What’s he wheeling in?
[guy's voice]: It’s a cake with two tiny dolls that look like us. Eat a slice! Now feed a little bit to me.
[girl's voice]: This is really strange. Why are we doing this?
[guy's voice]: Tax purposes.”