In response to all the “pickup artist” and “seduction” talk that’s going on in the wake of that super rapey Kickstarter project, I’ve written a piece at Thought Catalog about how guys can talk to other human beings – which is what women are – without being a negging, sexist ass. My first piece of advice? Don’t listen to pickup artists. A few more pointers:
Treat them the way you’d want to be treated. Sorry to go all Jesus on you, but pickup artists have left me no choice. They’re all about manipulating women into trusting you, and capitalizing on their various weaknesses (physical, emotional, social) to get them into bed. Something tells me you’d hate it if people tried to pull that shit on you.
Leave your virgin/whore dichotomy at home. Sorry to go all Women’s Studies on you, but again, PUAs have left me no choice. In the PUA imagination, women are sluts, prudes, gold-diggers, bitches, or simply too dumb to figure out that you’re trying to trick them into sleeping with you. Women are none of the above; they are complex human beings, just like you are. But if you walk around thinking of women at stereotypes, you’re going to be a stereotype yourself — the desperate guy who can’t get laid.
“No” doesn’t mean “back off and try again later.” It doesn’t mean “maybe.” It sure as hell doesn’t mean “yes.” I can’t believe I have to write this in 2013, but for fuck’s sake, people, no means no. No means go away. No often means, “I have already signaled to you in half a dozen ways that for whatever reason, I am not interested, so now I am being very clear and direct and I really hope you will go away.”
You can read the whole thing here, and if you have non-sexist tips on how to get fellow human beings to spend time with you, post them in comments!