How do we encourage the men we care about to care about feminism?

Recently, several male friends of mine have gotten involved in Women’s Studies classes and other class discussions that involve feminism, and a few have mentioned that they have felt alienated or attacked in such classes because they are male. I have not been in the same classes, so I can’t say first-hand what is going on, but I worry that a feminism defined as women versus men is denying itself many more potential supporters than a movement defined as feminists versus anti-feminists.

As a person with white and economic privilege, I also recognize that my friends’ apprehension to call themselves feminists could have something to do with the difficulties of recognizing and disassembling male privilege in a society that strongly encourages privileged groups to ignore the unfair advantages they receive as members of that group. While acknowledging and disassembling privilege is small compared to the challenges faced by those without privilege, I suspect it will be to feminism’s advantage to help men and other privileged groups recognize and confront privilege in a way that is open and includes them. 

My question is how to do this. Because I am a movie buff, I wanted to offer up one possibility: More male feminists in movies.  I loved Nine to Five and The First Wives Club but noticed that all the men in those movies were womanizers and bigots, the undisputed bad guys of the story with no compassionate or supportive men balancing them out on the heroines’ side. While I understand the need for more strong female roles in entertainment (heck, I’ve even tried my hand at writing a few), I think it is a mistake not to include feminist male characters. If there are more male feminists in movies I think (hope) that more men will see  examples of how to be both male and feminist come to understand that feminism isn’t about demonizing them as men, but demonizing patriarchy, and you don’t have to be a woman to do that.