Project Unspoken Part 2: “There is nothing that you can do to ask for it.”

Recently I posted a terrific video project created by Caleb Peng called Project Unspoken – out of Emory University – which interviewed a number of young people about harassment and violence against women. Here’s Part 2 which interviews more folks asking them whether they know someone who has been the victim of sexual assault. It’s a powerful video because it shows that basically everyone knows someone impacted.

This is something that I’ve written about on this site before. Survivors are everywhere and you may even be one or know one. It’s important that we acknowledge that it’s a common problem first in order to fix it. All too often people think it’s something that happens to someone else and the key here is that it isn’t and there is no shame.

My personal favorite quote from the video: ”This doesn’t have to define the rest of your life.”

Transcript to follow or if someone wants to put one in the comments I would be forever in your debt.

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  1. Posted November 29, 2012 at 4:28 pm | Permalink

    Here’s the transcript:

    Male voice off camera (MVOC) #1 “Do you personally know anyone who has been sexually assaulted or raped?”

    Woman #1 “Not personally.”

    Woman #2: “Not that I know of.”

    Man #1: “Not personally.”

    Woman #3: “No.”

    Man #2: “I’m fortunate enough to have not, to not know anybody who has been sexually assaulted.”

    Woman #4: “No, I do not.”

    Man #3: “I personally do not know anyone.”

    Woman #5: “Not that I’m aware of.”

    Woman #6: “Not to my knowledge.”

    Man #4: “Yes.”

    Man #5: “Yes.”

    Woman #7: “Yes.”

    Woman #8: “Yes.”

    Woman #9: “Yes.”

    Man #6: “Yes, I do.”

    Man #7: “Yes.”

    Woman #10: “Yes.”

    Man #8: “I do.”

    Man #9: “Yes.”

    Woman #11: “Yeah.”

    Woman #12: “Yes.”

    Woman #13: “Yes.”

    Woman #14: “Yes, I do.”

    Woman #15: “Yes, I know a few.”

    Man #10: “Yeah.”

    Woman #16: “I do.”

    Woman #17: “Yes.”

    Man #11: “I know someone, I actually know multiple people who are survivors.”

    Woman #18: “Yes.”

    Woman #19: “Yes, I do know of someone.”

    Woman #20: “Yes.”

    Woman #21: “Yes.”

    Woman #22: “Yes.”

    Woman #23: “Yes.”

    Man: #12: “Yes.”

    Man #13: “I do know someone, or maybe more.”

    Woman #24: “Yes.”

    Woman #25: “Yes.”

    Woman #26: “Yes.”

    Man #14: “Yes.”

    Woman #27: “Yes.”

    Woman #28: “I know multiple people.”

    Man #15: “Yes.”

    Woman #29: “Yes.”

    Woman #30: “Yes.”

    Man #16: “Yes.”

    Woman #31: “Yeah.”

    Woman #32: “Uh, yes I do.”

    Woman #33: “Yes.”

    Woman #34: “Yes.”

    Man #17: “Yeah.”

    Woman #35: “Yes.”

    Woman #36: “I do.”

    Woman #37: “Yes.”

    Woman #38: “Yes.”

    Man #18: “Yes.”

    Woman #39: “Yes.”

    Woman #40: “I do.”

    MVOC #1: “Sexual assault and rape have serious short-term and long-term physical, mental, sexual, and reproductive health problems for survivors and their children.

    Survivors of sexual assault may experience sleep difficulties, eating disorders, and emotional distress.

    Experiencing sexual violence during pregnancy increases the likelihood of low birth weight, pre-term delivery, stillbirth, and miscarriage.

    According to the U.S. Department of Justice, over 64,000 women reported being raped in a 12-month period. That’s approximately 5,333 rapes per month and 178 rapes per day. There were an estimated 3,204 pregnancies as a result of rape during that time.

    Survivors are 3 times more likely to suffer from depression, 4 times more likely to contemplate suicide, 6 times more likely to suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder, 13 times more likely to abuse alcohol, and 26 times more likely to abuse drugs.”

    MVOC #1: “If you could say anything to the person that you know, what would you say?”

    Man #9: “It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t deserve it at all. Um, no one should ever have to go through that especially at such a young age. And I wish that never happened to you.”

    Woman #26: “I don’t know.”

    Woman #7: “Just don’t blame yourself. And don’t underestimate, don’t try to belittle the fact that it happened.”

    Man #4: “You shouldn’t feel guilty.”

    Woman #20: It’s not your fault.

    Man #10: “You have to stop blaming yourself.”

    Woman #9: “It’s not your fault.”

    Woman #38: “It’s not your fault.”

    Woman #25: “It was fault. Please stop feeling guilty.”

    Man #7: “You did nothing wrong to cause something like that to happen to you.”

    Woman #14: “Please know and understand that it is never your fault.”

    Woman #23: “Stop, um, analyzing each action of your personal action and trying to like pinpoint what made it your fault like try to find any source of personal blame within the situation.”

    Woman #21: “You can be running around naked and it doesn’t mean you’re asking to get sexually assaulted or raped. There’s nothing you can do to ask for it.”

    Woman #40: “There’s nothing wrong with you.”

    Man #5: “And you’re still a strong person regardless of that situation. Don’t let that situation define you, you’re much more than that.”

    Woman #28: “This does not have to control your life.”

    Woman #31: “No matter what that person did from you, they didn’t take, did to you, they didn’t take away you know you’re beauty as a person, as a woman, and that you should never let that deter you.”

    Woman #37: “Just because this happened to you doesn’t mean it needs, it has to define, um, the rest of your or even the rest of your experience of where you are right now.”

    Man #6: “Don’t find truth in, um, the way you’ve been hurt because it’s not. The truth is the way you bounce back and how you recover from it.”

    Woman #16: “I really wish you would have had the opportunity to speak up about it and that you would have been believed.”

    Woman #32: “You should put yourself first.”

    Woman #17: “I’m just, I’m really sorry.”

    Woman #27: “I’m really, really sorry that happened to you.”

    Woman #15: “I’m sorry this happened and I hope you know that there are resources on campus and there are people here that love you and can help you deal with it.”

    Man: #12: “I’m here for you to talk to.”

    Woman #11: “It’s okay to ask for help.”

    Man #13: “I love you.”

    Man #14: “I want to be there for you in whatever way I can but I want you to be the best person you can be after dealing with this.”

    Woman #13: “You’re beautiful and I love you and I’m always here for you if you ever need me.”

    Man #11: “I’m here if you want to talk but I understand if you don’t, um, want, that’s not my place to make that decision but, um, I want to be here for you.”

    Man #8: “I love you, more than anything and that I’m always going to be here and I’m always going to be here for you to talk to and for you to lean on.”

    Woman #39: “You are so very loved.”

    Woman #29: “I love you no mater what you’ve been through.”

    Woman #10: “Keep fighting the good fight.”

    Man #15: “You’re strength is a role model for me.”

    Woman #36: “I admire you so much for having gone through what you’ve gone through and not let it, you know, affect your daily life.”

    Woman #35: “You’re the strongest person I know, not because like you stayed silent but because you dealt with things that no young person should ever deal with.”

    Woman #34: “I’m so proud of you for coming forward about this.”

    Woman #22: “You’re one of the strongest people I know and you go through so much more than the average person every day to just function normally and I have a lot of respect for that.”

    Man #18: “I’m proud of you for keeping strong and um thanks for sharing your story with me.”

    Woman #12: “Thank you for sharing your story, um, and thank you for, um, coming through that experience and healing over time to then be able to do the work that you do and to help others.”

    Woman #33: “Know that you’re not any less and that you’re still a whole being, um, and because of what happened to you, um, you’re a much stronger individual. Um, and I really, um, truly admire you for all that you do and that continue to do. And I know that despite what you’ve been through, you’re still going to be happy and successful and you’re going to be able to find that person that loves you and will treat you, um, like you deserve to be treated.”

    Man #17: “You may not be able to change it but you can do something for the future. And there are supports out there and if you can’t find them, I’ll help you find them, others will help you find them, and it’s not fair but it needs to end and hopefully together we can reach that goal.”

    Woman #24: “By speaking up and getting help you are giving a voice to the thousands of other men and women who do go unheard and because of your strength I applaud you, I look up to you, and I appreciate your courage for standing up for yourself and not being just a victim but a survivor.”

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