If Feminism Ran the Magazine Interviews for a Day

A SYTYCB entry

Everyone has probably seen the “What guys want” lists that show up month after month, year after year, in women’s magazines- from those aimed at preteens to more adult issues of Cosmo, magazines love to remind us that our bodies are a constant performance and we should always want to know what men think about ourselves and our decisions.   If it’s not what they think about how we dress, it’s our makeup choices, how we eat food on dates, our posture- et cetera.  (Some examples: Guys Reveal: What they want to see you wear on dates, What Greek Guys Want Girls to Wear, What Guys Think About How You Look)

The problem is not that guys have opinions: it’s the way the magazines posit these opinions as important and necessary for us to know.  It feeds into a larger social pattern where we are taught to always see ourselves through the male gaze, and are taught to interpret our own decisions and choices as being less valuable if they don’t make us more attractive to men.

Here is what one of those Q and A’s might go like if feminism took over the magazine interviews for a day, and published the results.

Louis R., Age 22, Austin:
“I am not into girls who have tattoos, and rather than discouraging girls to do what they want with their bodies since it doesn’t fit with my manview of what is “attractive” for a woman, I will just date girls who don’t have tattoos.”

George T., Age 23, Atlanta:
“I like when a girl shows confidence, but I have this feeling that this doesn’t actually help shy girls act more confident, it just makes them feel more self-conscious and like I’m constantly evaluating that aspect of them when they do try to talk to people like me.”

Jose M., Age 27, Chicago:

“I used to say that I like a girl who knows how to eat and doesn’t just pick at salad to impress me, but I realize saying this just encourages the very type of insecurities that lead to picking the salad in the first place.  First of all, some women just like salads, they shouldn’t have to eat a burger either to impress me.   Second of all, when we live in a fat shaming society, so it’s pretty ridiculous to turn around right after we chastise someone for being fat, and then ask why everyone isn’t eating.   We’re the ones making them feel like their dinner choices are going to be a matter of public discourse.”

Tyler P., Age 18, Toronto:
“I’m gay, so why are you asking me what I really think about girls?   They make nice friends.   Why are you hoping I offer a critique on how they look- so they can have yet another constant reminder that their bodies are constantly up for critique no matter where they are, or what they’re doing?”

Mario K., Age 21, Miami:
“I don’t want to be talking about what type of skinny jeans look best when we’re at the club- I want to talk about how facial features, body types, hair styles, et cetera that are perceived as “white” are always the beauty standard in our society, while POC girls and their looks are constantly exotified and otherized.  Why aren’t you asking me questions about this?”

Laura L., Age 25, Seattle:
“I like girls who like girls.   Have you ever noticed how magazines like yours only promote- over and over- heterosexual relationships/problems/crushes/dialogue, even though queer girls make up a sizeable and very real part of the population?  Young queer or questioning girls reading your magazine can so easily feel like their identities are invisible and something you want to sweep under the rug.  Take away this assumption that every girl out there is looking for a boy.”

Tatsuya S., Age 29, New York:
“I like it when society doesn’t encourage girls to get in the mindset of seeing themselves through the Male Gaze, and shaming them if they ignore this mindset.   So what if I was a guy and thought that red lipstick is unattractive?   Girl just wanted red lips that day.  Go her.   It’s not my business.”