Obvious statements and agreeing with Republicans


A SYTYCB entry

This morning, some Republican guy said a thing that’s making Democrats really mad. Is it what-else-is-new o’clock already?

Kansas Attorney General Kris Kobach, creator of that one racist Arizona law. Meeting of the Republican National Convention Platform. Talking about same-sex marriage. This should be good.

“Our government routinely judges situations where you might regard people completely affecting themselves like for example the use of controlled substances, like for example polygamy that is voluntarily entered in to. We condemn those activities even though they are not hurting other people at least directly.”

Balderdash! Scandal! Marrying someone of the same sex is like using drugs or being in a plural marriage? What a terrible thing to say, what a… wait, hold on, he’s totally right.

Stay with me. Let’s break down the statement into nice chewable bits. The government condemns people for certain voluntary acts that don’t hurt anyone. Yes, this is completely true. The use of certain drugs and plural marriage are illegal. People do these things of their own free will without infringing on anyone else’s rights.

So you see? Kris Kobach is completely right. Taking drugs and polygamy/polyandry hurts no one, and therefore both should be legalized. Thank you, Mr. Kobach, for making me see the error of my ways and bringing me to the logical progressive conclusion.

Any consenting adults should be able to enter into any kind of marriage they want. If it doesn’t break any consent laws or bring harm to anybody, why should it be illegal? Shame on our judgmental government!

Kobach also makes a good point about our current drug laws. Taking controlled substances does not hurt other people, at least directly! Besides for certain drugs that routinely make people freak out and try to eat other people’s faces, shouldn’t we take a look at legalization? Certainly at least for drugs that cause less indirect harm to others than ones already legalized, such as alcohol! Isn’t that right, Kris Kobach?

There you have it, folks. Kris Kobach, ultra-progressive Kansas Attorney General, makes a sound argument for why we should legalize plural marriage and marijuana. Let us all hold up Kobach as the new standard for progressives everywhere.

Disclaimer: This post was written by a Feministing Community user and does not necessarily reflect the views of any Feministing columnist, editor, or executive director.

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