“Do you want me to pay for dinner?” and other awkward questions

An interesting point was recently brought to my attention by a male friend: it’s hard to respect someone’s expectations about things like going dutch and gestures like holding doors open when you don’t know what those expectations are, but asking about them can be awkward and come off as rude. When you’re dating in a pool that contains a wide spectrum of views on these subjects, how can you have a conversation about them early in a relationship without it getting weird? While this sort of question applies to everyone, it has specific relevance to heterosexual men, because they traditionally have the most distance from the feminist discussions on these subjects.

I don’t really have any deep insight into this question myself, but I thought I’d bring it to the community’s attention, since it could make for interesting discussion.

Disclaimer: This post was written by a Feministing Community user and does not necessarily reflect the views of any Feministing columnist, editor, or executive director.

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