When Your Career Doesn’t Let You Speak Out

I have heard a lot of sexist things in my life, both directed at me and other people. Sometimes I grin and bear it. I’m more likely to defend someone else than I am to defend myself, simply to prevent being seen as a the woman who can’t “take a joke.” I’ve accepted that I will never be one of the guys. I can’t close my eyes and pretend these things aren’t happening or that they will just go away on their own.

I applied for an internship that would allow me to put a great name on my resume. I thought the interview went well and I was given an assignment to prove I could write for this prominent publication. I was led to believe most applicants have a serious chance of getting in. A month after I submitted the assignment I didn’t hear back. I sent an email. No response. Another email two months later. No response again. I felt angry because I knew every other publication, whether they wanted an interview or not, answered my emails. I thought, why can’t he bother to take the two minutes to write back and tell me if a decision had or hadn’t been made?

And then I started reading many of this pieces online. Not ones he had written for the publication he works for now but small websites. They were extremely sexist. not even kinda sorta misogynistic, but full-blown “I’m a young man who believes I deserve the privilege to dominate women and I’m proud of it.” I could give specific examples but I don’t want to give myself away. And here is the conundrum. I may not EVER have a relationship with this publication if I try to tie his dismissiveness towards women in relationships to how he has dismissed me in his professional life. But I don’t want to sit idly by and let him keep treating young women this way. I want to email his higher-up and tell him or her that I haven’t heard back from him but I’d rather not work for someone with deeply troubled and antiquated ideas about how women should behave.

I had to say something because I hope others will share their stories and help me grow some courage. I haven’t found any other publication’s internship coordinator to be as busy as this guy. It isn’t about rejection; it’s about not even getting the respect of a rejection after going in for an interview and testing for it. If men have gone through this too I’m sorry but it’s beyond that now. I would still find it unsettling to intern for someone with that point-of-view.

Disclaimer: This post was written by a Feministing Community user and does not necessarily reflect the views of any Feministing columnist, editor, or executive director.

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