Hypothetical man voice more powerful than mine

Often I find that when a man makes a move on me and I say I’m not interested, he will persistently keep trying until I say I have a boyfriend. What irks me about this is that the hypothetical nonexistent man has more of a voice than the very real me. It would be one thing if it happened once or twice, and I don’t know about others, but this is a pretty consistent happening for me. It’s why products like fake engagement rings work well, and why in college, I had a fake boyfriend for years.

When discussing this with my friends recently, one suggested that it’s probably because saying, “no” is part of the game. But I just can’t agree, there’s nothing clearer than no, and there shouldn’t have to be. I just keep asking myself, why is the nonexistent man’s voice more powerful? Why is my voice not good enough? What if I were a lesbian, or bi-sexual? It’s incredibly frustrating. I also feel I fuel the problem. It’s comfortable easy out to create a man to speak for me. It’s how women first got the vote in many countries, using pen names. It’s a tactic used by feminists for change that’s existed for a long time. None-the-less I’m sick of it! I want my voice to be heard, because I deserve to be heard.

So, if you see me out, and I say “I’m not interested”, it’s because I’M NOT INTERESTED, and having a boyfriend or not should have nothing to do with it!

Disclaimer: This post was written by a Feministing Community user and does not necessarily reflect the views of any Feministing columnist, editor, or executive director.

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