A Letter to My Sixteen-Year-Old Self

All right, get up off the couch, put down the Super Nintendo controller and listen for a second okay? Although, since this a letter, I suppose “read” would be more appropriate. You know those feelings you have of not fitting anywhere, feeling like you have to kill yourself just to find some kind of release from the constant tug of war you feel at school? I’m here to tell you that you don’t need to die, there is another way out.

It’s called graduating high school. Yes, that’s right, although it seems hopeless for you, stuck in the worst institution your country has to offer with no support and no one to explain to you what it is you are feeling, but it’s not hopeless. You have to be patient, you have to wait it out. I know that’s a hard thing for you to hear right now, feeling like you do, but it’s true. Life gets better after high school; trust me, I know.

Don’t be ashamed to express yourself in the way you really want. You don’t need to hide in your room trying out pantyhose for the first time, feeling guilty that you’re the weirdest person ever. You have to do whatever feels natural to you, and although other people might call it unnatural, it’s not. For most of your life, you’ve been alone–on that score, it doesn’t get any better. But here’s a ray of hope for you to grasp if you would: every person is beautiful, even you.

Even you are beautiful with your too-hairy legs and short hair. Even you are beautiful with your unique fashion sense. Hey, there’s nothing to be ashamed of when you want to want to wear skirts and sneakers together. You don’t have to fit a norm or fall into a category in order to respect yourself. All that takes is the realization that yes, you are human, the same as everyone else, and though you haven’t identified these tendencies of yours, or even thought about them outside the rare fleeting moments you get of exhilarating discovery, it doesn’t make you any less human and it certainly doesn’t make you any less beautiful.

Yes, I know that’s what you want. You want to be pretty. Hey, I’ve been there too. I’m you, remember? I went through the phase where I distracted myself as much as I possibly could to ignore the fact that I’m different, I’m not like everyone else. But you know what? Different is good. Differences are what make us who we are; differences are what enable society to function in a healthy, cohesive manner. When many types of people come together as one, they gain strength from each other because they are different. When you cry yourself to sleep at night, remember this fact. Remember it when you curse God’s name for creating such an unfair system that produces so much suffering for you.

There is beauty in the world if you would see it. Stand up, put some pantyhose on and go out into the world. You are who you are. There is no else like you.

Disclaimer: This post was written by a Feministing Community user and does not necessarily reflect the views of any Feministing columnist, editor, or executive director.

Join the Conversation