Dr. Pepper 10: Ten Good Reasons to Never Buy Dr. Pepper Again

Dr. Pepper apparently thinks it is amusing to market its new 10 calorie drink exclusively for men by using antiquated and damaging gender stereotypes. The Dr. Pepper 10 facebook page (that you must “like” in order to view) displays an ad that shows the drink’s 10 “man’ments”. These man’ments outline appropriate social networking behavior for men.

The unimpressive version of masculinity espoused by Dr. Pepper 10 proves not only harmful for women, but for men as well. While one can assume that the man’ments are meant to be somewhat tongue-in-cheek, the root message is heard loud and clear; men are to be emotionless and destructive. Period.

The 10 man’ments go like this…

1.  THOU SHALT NOT OMG.
If it’s not exploding, it’s not exciting.

(Men: You are not allowed to find anything in life exciting. Your purpose is to be destructive.)

2.  THOU SHALT NOT PUCKER UP.
Kissy faces are never manly.

(Men: Anger is the only appropriate feeling and destruction is the only appropriate outlet for that feeling.)

3.  THOU SHALT NOT POST PICS OF YOUR OUTFIT.
Unless it’s battle armor and you have a gigantic sword and/or small bazooka.

(Men: We have convinced women that their worth is in their appearance. Don’t fall into the same trap stupid! Your worth is in your ability to destroy and control things. Don’t forget that.)

4.  THOU SHALT NOT POST FURRY ANIMAL VIDEOS.
Exceptions made for beasts fighting to the death and bears destroying idyllic picnic scenes.

(Men: An affinity for any living creature makes you less of a man.)

5.  THOU SHALT NOT MAKE A “MAN-GAGEMENT” ALBUM.
That is all.

(Men: Please don’t forget. No feelings allowed. Sharing your excitement? Please refer to man’ment #1)

6.  THOU SHALT NOT SHARE YOUR HOROSCOPE.
Daily.

(Men: If it’s not destructive, it’s not manly.)

7.  THOU SHALT NOT INSTAGRAM YOUR LUNCH.
Real men eat lunch not tweet it.

(Men: You only have one concern in life. Destruction. So destruct your lunch like a real man and stop taking time to share. Sharing is for girls.)

8.  THOU SHALT NOT UNTAG UNFLATTERING PICS.
We know you were there.

(Men: Refer to man’ment #3)

9.  THOU SHALT NOT END A COMMENT WITH A =)

(Men: What did we say about emotions? Anger only. No smiling. Smiling is for girls. Duh.)

10.  THOU SHALT NOT MAKE A FACEBOOK PROFILE FOR YOUR PET,
baby and/or imaginary friend.

(Men: For godsake, do not show an affinity for any living thing. It doesn’t matter if it’s your dog or your gosh darn baby.)