Lapis’s First Post

This is my first post (if you can’t see from the title), so forgive me if it isn’t quite up to standards.

In my very recently developed feminist eye, which endures the soapy daytime TV cult about half the time I walk into a nail salon (no offense to daytime soap lovers, but I strongly dislike it) and triggers a mental face-palm every time the line between “girls’ toys” and “boys’ toys” is clearly defined on the TV in my little sister’s bedroom and makes me express pure outrage at Babysitting Mama and Science Papa, has noticed something that recently became quite personal to me.

Let me start with a few examples (SPOILER ALERT).

I am a very big Gleek. However, the drama between Finn and Rachel, cute as it is, follows a pattern we know well. Boy and girl fall in love. As soon as boy is free from other girl, boy goes for girl, says “I love you,” and relationship is given the green light. However, boy dumps girl when girl starts liking boy more. Girl tries to get boy back, but is only successful after she starts playing hard-to-get again.

Or how ’bout that fantastic musical, How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying. I just saw it on B-way with Daniel Radcliffe, and it was a cool musical… but in there, boy only falls for girl who very actively pursues him when he’s kissing another girl.

Maybe a personal example this time… Girl meets boy. Girl asks boy to her school’s prom. They get to know each other in the meantime. They talk a ton (even about their shared love of science!) on prom night. Soon after, boy stops talking to girl even though girl tries hard to reopen lines of communication. Months pass. Response and apology and well-wishing only come after an end-of-summer FB message and–whoops!–right before he skedaddles off to a college far, far away. Meanwhile, girl politely RESPONDS (even if only half the time) to text messages from other boy with similar crush on her. DISCLAIMER: girl thinks both boys are cool… sometimes.

Mother keeps saying “boys like what they can’t have,” but lots of the time they get it anyway (Accusatory remark or fact?…). Can’t an honest girl pursue a nice guy without getting either a cold shoulder or, as the Thoroughly Modern Millie steno girls so aptly state it, a “Forget About The Boy?” If a boy can find the girl of her dreams, can’t a girl find the man of her dreams with the same facility?

I bring this up because I’ve seen numerous posts in a lot of places about the male-female double standard concerning unrequited love (deeply-in-love guy versus pathetic-stalker girl). I’d just like to add the hard-to-get part, because, as my Mom also says, girls have more to think about and do (Read! Sing showtunes! Pass AP Bio! Play K’nex!!! ) than to perfect just the right way to act around men.

Anyone agree? Disagree? Comments? (as ROFLworthy as flamewars are… not on my first post, thaaaanks)… and don’t hate me for saying the wrong thing.

Love,

Lapis

Disclaimer: This post was written by a Feministing Community user and does not necessarily reflect the views of any Feministing columnist, editor, or executive director.

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