Fun and Games With NOM: In Support of New York Marriage Equality

Earlier today, I was watching an embedded Youtube trailer for a movie coming out this summer on a Feministing post, when the following Google ad popped up on the bottom of my video: “NY – Protect Marriage: Act Now to Protect Traditional Marriage. Contact Your State Senator. NationForMarriage.org”

Now, let’s disregard for a second the colossal algorithmic error that led Google to believe that I am the target audience for this advertisement. There was no mistaking its ugly existence on my screen.

I could have easily just X-ed it out and continued watching my movie trailer. But instead, I decided to have some fun with the National Organization for (Heterosexual, and Heterosexual Only) Marriage.

I clicked on their link, which lead me to a window inviting me to send (just as I’d hoped!) a pre-written but customizable email whose gist was, “don’t mess with traditional (read: exclusionary/heteronormative) marriage.”

All I had to do was fill in some basic, identifying information, click “send,” and the diplomatically homophobic message would forward to every New York State Senator who they thought was on the fence about which way to vote: Shirley Huntley (D), Joseph Addabbo (D), Andrew Lanza (R), Carl Kruger (D), Greg Ball (R), Stephen Saland (R), Roy McDonald (R)*, Elizabeth Little (R), Joseph Griffo (R), James Alesi (R), Kemp Hannon (R), Mark Grisanti (R), Jack Martins (R), and Charles Fuschillo (R).

(*Note that since NOM made their on-the-fence list, Republican Roy McDonald decided to be awesome and vote FOR equality, commenting, “You might not like that. You might be very cynical about that. Well, fuck it, I don’t care what you think. I’m trying to do the right thing.” Go McDonald!)

Anyway, you remember how I said the email was customizable? Well, I customized the bejeezus out of that email until it said the opposite of what they had intended, and then I went ahead and sent it. Below I’ve posted their version and my version superimposed with words I added in bold, and words I deleted crossed out. It’s quite amusing, if I do say so myself. For your reading pleasure:

Subject line: Please vote NO YES on same-sex marriage

I strongly urge you to oppose support the same-sex marriage bill if and when it comes up to a vote in the Senate.

Marriage isn’t about discrimination or exclusion, or just a package of government benefits. (and occasional penalties).  Throughout history, marriage has been a long-term, public, sexual union between a man and a woman. Why? Because these sexual unions are unique in their ability to produce children — even unintentionally in many cases. But the debate becomes about these things when we deny them to so many wonderful New Yorkers who deserve the same rights as everybody else.

Government has no business determining who I love. – but it does have an interest in making sure that as many kids as possible get to know and be loved by their own mother and father. No same-sex union can do this for a child. And it also has an interest in making sure that as many kids as possible get to know and be loved not just by heterosexual couples, but by the many loving same-sex partners who would make amazing parents. Marriage, like it or not, legitimizes and strengthens these family ties in a way that civil unions do not, which is why marriage must become an option for everyone.

The threat to religious freedom — and the utter refusal of gay marriage groups to accept any substantive protections for people of faith — is another major concern. For years, gay marriage activists have argued under the banner of tolerance, but now want to silence any opposing views. Examples of religious groups being forced out of the public square have already begun to crop up as Catholic Charities across the country are forced to give up their adoption license, a religious group in New Jersey is denied tax exemption for refusing to recognize civil unions, and people of faith face professional sanction for their religious beliefs. [So much “playing victim” went on in this paragraph that it wasn’t worth trying to reshape. But I do give them props for the chutzpah of their crocodile tears for a New Jersey faith group’s tax expenses… when same-sex couples lose thousands of dollars every year from their inability to file joint tax returns. And there are, of course, 1,137 more denied rights where that came from.]

Please, there are other ways to protect the legitimate needs of same-sex couples. They have the right to live as they choose, but not to redefine marriage for all of us. do the right thing and follow through on this legitimate need of same-sex couples. LGBTQ people have the right not only to live the way we choose to, but for society to recognize our love as just as legitimate, and just as worthy of the institution of marriage. Please vote no yes on same-sex marriage.

Needless to say, I had a blast making these edits.

Afterwards, the website proclaimed, “Your message has been sent. Thank you for making your voice heard!” No, thank you, NOM, for accidentally providing me with the voice to help legalize marriage for same-sex couples in New York.

Congratulations, now that’s what I call true protection of marriage.

This should come to a vote any minute, and we need a “yes.” So I sincerely hope that the only NOM-ing I hear of in the future is the onomatopoeic sound of the National Organization for Marriage eating marriage equality’s dust.

P.S. Check out my blog at http://equalitygirl.wordpress.com/