University of Vermont Paper Posts “The Hipster Girl Hookup”

I attend the University of Vermont, which I generally consider to be a safe, progressive school.  Over the past few weeks there have been nearly a dozen incidents of sexual assault in the area, consisting of an as-yet-unknown male assailant groping women and then running.

The University of Vermont alternative newspaper the Watertower decided that now was the appropriate time to publish an article entitled “the hipster girl hookup: a beginner’s guide.”

The article is on page 3 of the pdf here, and a more offensive version can be found here.

The article basically boils down to a guide on lying to women that you don’t care about to get into their pants.  Charming at all times.  But it is appalling to me, both as a human being and as a student of UVM, that an article that so explicitly supports rape culture would be published.  That this would be published at all is disgusting, that it was published at a time when women are being sexually assaulted in the area is unconscionable.

You can e-mail the editors in chief of the Water Tower at The account for letters to the editor and the general e-mail is

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  • nazza

    I’m amazed this even got into a college sponsored publication. This would have never made it into my school paper. It’s not just offensive, it also promotes some of the worst stereotypes ever created.

  • Jenny Gonzalez-Blitz

    Why didn’t he just save time & type the sentence “I’M A SHELTERED SUBURBAN DORK” over and over? Because that’s what I read from the moment he conflated “hipster” and “arty” (although it is possible to be both, more often than not the former is pretending to be the latter and thinking they can achieve it if they spend enough money on the right outfit, be seen at the right event, etc.) And those red plastic glasses on that model? That makes an American Apparel ad look sincere.

    Sorry jerk, some of us can tell if you’re using “dissonance” as a buzzword or if you genuinely understand what it means a second after the word leaves your lips. And while mense-art itself can be a fun tribute to the work of feminist artists past, tampons on the wall? Dude, please, that’s the most widely parodied cliche since Clowes first used it in his “Art School Confidential” strip (google it, Jonathan. Not because knowing it will make “alt-chicks” have sex with you, but because unlike you, it’s intentionally funny.)

    His bit about having money just reveals his core belief that all women are commodities to be bought. Drugs – ok,yes this will work on certain types of people(of any gender), sad to say. I bet he’s also happy to be the yuppie douche people tolerate cuz he hooks them up with their drugs. I bet he’s too oblivious to realize he’s That Guy. However, it’s still no guarantee you’ll get anything more than a “thanks for smoking me out!” Again, it plays on his assumption not only that women are commodities, but that “alt-women” in particular are drug-addled freaks who will do anything for a fix.

    As far as copying fashions from Vice magazine, see my above remarks about people who think they can purchase bohemia through the right outfit.

    Green tea – yeah, drink it. It’s good for you. Doesn’t mean anyone will have sex with you though. Be funny – also a positive trait, but doesn’t mean anyone will have sex with you.

    Going to the right spots? Again, see my remarks about “purchasing” bohemia.

    The “hipster homo” bit– now this disturbs me the most, not only for it’s homophobia, but for the bit about the reason girls have gay friends (because liking them as people is too much for Jonathan’s little simian brain to comprehend) is because they “won’t try to finger-fuck them if they pass out”. So, not only is he ok with rape, he seems to imply here that it’s par-for-the-course heterosexual activity. Dumbass, this doesn’t turn you into a hipster. It turns you into a RAPIST.

    So, joy. Another yuppie poser dork who for some reason gets a bug up his butt that he has to fuck a “freaky chick” but never once bothered to examine his rape-endorsing, sexist, homophobic mainstream mentality. At this point I can smell them the minute they walk through the door of the “right spot”.

  • kfleming

    The best part is his lack of comprehension of the humanity of the people he’s writing about. Women are not people, gay men are not people. Only myself and people like me are people. Disgusting.

    The editors in chief of the newspaper sent out a stock response to all of us who wrote in essentially saying “Sorry we forgot feminists hate fun and laughter. In the future we’ll try to remember that feminists have no sense of humor.”

    Which would be okay, if the article was actually funny and satirical. But it’s neither.