Dear mom, not sorry I’ve led sis astray

I know you try to be supportive of me; atheism, gay rights support and all. I appreciate that you stand up for me when dad forgets to be a father first and preacher second, constantly telling me that at 26 I’m only going through a phase or condemning me to Hell. I don’t even care that when religion comes into the conversation you take a tone of fond exasperation and we agree to disagree. However, I also know that subconsciously you think dad’s right and you’ll never fully accept me. Why else would there be screaming fights when sis, nearly 16 (the same age I began questioning and eventually stopped attending church) , says she doesn’t want to attend church? Fights that end with my secretly agnostic sister grounded and sullen while being dragged unwilling to a place that insults every value I’ve tried to instill in her.

Yes, perhaps it wasn’t my place to usurp your parental authority like that, but, mom…I couldn’t let you do that to her. I couldn’t mind my place while you surrounded her with people who taught her to be a modest little lady who would never tempt a man into sin by daring to wear short skirts or low-cut tops, while -apart from the preacher’s family with their weird hangup about even male and female siblings swimming together- no boys are ever told not to tempt the girls (who, I suspect, must not have libidos).  As an aside, mom, I’ve seen the way you dress in the summer, and I know even you aren’t fully on board with that one.

So, yeah, I started secretly undermining everything all of you wanted her to believe. I taught her that boobs are rather hilarious and not something to be ashamed of. I gave her the most comprehensive sex-ed my virgin mind was capable of; explaining everything I could about birth control, condoms, fetishes, sexual preference, etc. that I’d learned from the internet over the years (fear not, most of my teaching sites were either medical or feminist in nature). I told her that being an atheist who swears like a sailor doesn’t make one a bad person, so long as that person isn’t also a rapist, a murder or any other form of criminal. And, I taught her that gay people aren’t horrible abominations who chose to live their lives in flagrant disregard of God’s Will. Granted, sharing the latter two views was due to a desire for an ally in a house where I’m tolerated at best and condemned at worst, but that didn’t make me any less proud today when she came home and gleefully announced that she’d interrupted her youth group lesson on how homosexuals were badbadbad, to say that she has no problem with them and, in fact, some of her best friends and favorite celebrities are gay. Oh, sure, I feel a little guilty for going behind your back, and for looking forward to the day she informs them that her sister is an atheist and we’re not the big scary monsters they all seem to think, but I’m no less proud of her.

Love,

The Sinister Sheep of The Family