So that’s why baseball is America’s favorite pastime

I know that right now, most sports fans are focused on the Super Bowl, which even I, with my stunningly limited lack of interest in sports, know is coming up this weekend. But I want to take a quick break from being torn about which of the two football teams playing this weekend has a worse record on sexual assault and talk about baseball for a moment.

Specifically, Hall of Famer Yankee Mickey Mantle. A few years after Mantle retired, it seems, he received a letter asking him to contribute to Yankee Stadium’s 50th anniversary celebrations. According to this letter posted at Letters of Note, the Yankees wanted Mantle to fill out a short survey about his “outstanding experience at Yankee Stadium.” So how did Mantle reply?

“I got a blow-job under the right-field bleachers by the Yankee bull-pen.”

Yankee Hall of Famer Mickey Mantle, everyone!

Then, the survey asks respondents to describe their outstanding experiences in as much detail as possible. And Mantle certainly obliges:

“It was about the third or fourth inning. I had a pulled groin and couldn’t fuck at the time. She was a very nice girl and asked me what to do with the cum after I came in her mouth. I said don’t ask me, I’m no cocksucker.”

Ah, the privilege enjoyed by male athletes. What a grand tradition.

You can see a copy of the original letter here.

Thanks to Billy for the tip!