Living The Dream (Like A Man)

Today, my life would fit a traditional mold of male success. I have lived with every freedom and every opportunity once reserved only for men. I earned an independent living, owned property and invested money. I lived in beautiful places. I was a lover, a partner, a friend. I was a traveler. I have lived a life that men dream of living.

Many modern women have enjoyed similar freedoms.  We have been placed on a path cleared by modern-day ‘freedom fighters’, which is how I have come to personally view the women who made a life like mine possible.

But that perception has taken awhile for me to develop. The work of 1960’s and 1970’s feminists — who were once immersed  in a powerless and limited existence — has since become very marginalized.

My generation and those to follow have heard snippets about “feminists” as strong but ‘selfish, liberal-leaning home-wreckers with man-bashing agendas’.

But frankly, who could blame them for holding a negative world-view then? They lived at a time when the ‘ideal’ economic framework could still render a woman pregnant with children, penniless and unable to find work to feed her family because one day her husband  just up and — died  — or went to war — or ran off with the neighbor. They had a right to be bitter!

Women my age have distanced ourselves from the these ladies who, with the support of many wonderful men, were responsible for opening countless doors for us.  By the way, we don’t seem to be holding “feminism” against any of those men.

Today, we are afraid of aligning ourselves with mature female leaders tainted with a stigma of “a bra-burning feminist”. So, young women have learned a good game of defense. As a result, women have amped up their femininity in order to seem credible navigating a man’s world in high heels:

In a society that values it’s labels, profits and conformity, “feminism” is one label that seems to hold a lot of baggage.

Meanwhile, young girls lack access to an “ism” that involves smart, engaging, sexy and celebrated female leaders who relish the pleasures of a career and/or the satisfaction of a happy family and supportive motherhood experience (sorry Hillary and my mom friends — it’s true that sexy sells!).

As a society we seem oblivious to this disconnect while girls randomly launch themselves into wild frontiers. We then seem take great joy in ridiculing and judging them for the resulting consequences.

But without a president, pope or god, what are they left to emulate?

Each other, that’s who.

For the women that push the boundries of youthful existence, many will land in carefully considered financial and social safety nets. But I wonder if so many nets would be necessary if girls were taught how to reconcile the desires of an independent female spirit with the longings for the love a good man (or woman) and the rites of motherhood.