I like this one in particular because it’s a reminder that these programs aren’t just teaching teens misinformation about sex, but also pushing fucked up power dynamics in relationships. (In this case, girls should be ashamed to think for themselves.)
Transcript after the jump.
What did you learn in abstinence-only class today?
Today we had a special lesson called “Relationships.” The speaker told us a story about a prince and a maiden. A dragon is attacking the maiden’s home, and the prince tries to slay it. The maiden suggests he uses a rope instead of a sword. He does. He kills the dragon. Then another dragon attacks. The maiden suggests he uses poison this time. He does. But he’s mad about all the suggestions. He leaves the princess for another maiden who doesn’t know anything about dragon-slaying. So we learned not to ask like the first maiden, because too many suggestions will drive a guy away.
I don’t think I understand. Let’s try this again. So the dragon is attacking?
It is an emergency situation in a clearly dragon0infested countryside.
So the princess shares her ideas about it.
And the prince – he leaves her.
Yes. She ruined his confidence and made him feel ashamed.
By suggesting other ways of killing dragons.
What if she was just worried about his safety? What if she just wanted to prevent damage to his sword? What if she had done read some studies on the most effective dragon-slaying methods?
We didn’t really get into that.
Come to think of it, the maiden seems to really know a lot about dragon-slaying. Why couldn’t she slay the dragon herself? Why isn’t she better off without the prince anyway if he’s so threatened by her ideas? Did you class talk about that?
Not really, just that he was happier with the other maiden.
Right, the girl who has no ideas.
None that she tells the prince anyway.
Does the prince talk to the first maiden about her suggestions made him feel?
No, he just sent off with the other maiden.
And the lesson was that girls should not share many of their ideas because they will scare off princes.
That’s what the speaker told us.