On Beauty: What is It, and Do We Want It?

I’ve been reading Kat Banyard’s “The Equality Illusion”. The first chapter discusses body image and the emphasis that is put on the connection between beauty and a woman or girl’s worth and the damage that this can cause. And, being fairly new to the feminism thing (or rather, only recently having staked a claim in being part of it), I’ve been doing some fairly intense googling on the topics that are of concern to a budding feminist – How will I fit in, what will I have to change? The beauty issue seemed a big one to me. It also seems to be a thing that divides feminist – there are feminists who reject the whole idea that beauty is important at all, there are feminists who proclaim that the natural female form is beautiful in all it’s variations, and there are those who find self expression and a feeling of freedom in being able to chose how to express or showcase their own feminine beauty. So how do I choose which kind of feminist I am, and how does beauty, and changing my ideas about it, impact my life?

Banyard argues against choosing to strive for beauty, as it is. It has a harmful impact on the beauty pursuer as well as other women. Other writers, Amy Richards and Naomi Wolf are quoted in the book as saying that it is about choice – as things stand, women don’t have the choice about whether to subscribe to ideals of beauty, we are expected to shave our legs, style our hair, diet, wear scents, wear make up, buy anti-aging creams, consider plastic surgery, think about our appearance every day. It is not a real option for us. The option is do it or be rejected for being unkempt or ugly. But Banyard disagrees that it is about choice, if gender inequality didn’t exist, no one would chose those things because they wouldn’t make sense any more. Is beauty just keeping us on our pedestals?

I’m not sure it is so black and white. I think it encroaches on the question of masculinity and femininity. Are they completely socially constructed, or are they just exaggerated by society? If they don’t really exist, why are people born transgender? Theoretically, they would have been socialised into their masculine or feminine role in childhood, so the conflict about gender wouldn’t matter (not to mention the people who identify as both neither or something else!). So I’m going to hazard that they do exist, that but that they are exaggerated and complicated and not limited to one or the other sex. That femininity is real but has been devalued as a result of the patriarchy. So what is femininity, and does it include a need to be or feel beautiful? If so, why, and what is beauty, if it isn’t what we’ve been led to believe it is – young, hairless below the eyebrows, big breasted, slender, smooth skinned, perfect make-up, et c.? What is masculine beauty, and is it different?

So, despite Kat Banyard’s compelling points, I think I’ve arrived at the vague idea that no one can really say what beauty is or how to be beautiful, because maybe it really is connected to femininity, and maybe femininity is an important part of the experience of being human (whatever body parts you were born with). Beauty has been used against us (by men and by other women) to control and suppress us in many ways, but I don’t think it can be so easily rejected. Maybe it really is in the eye of the beholder. Or more likely, the mind attached to the beautiful body in question.

So where does that leave me, and the choices I have to make? Well… to be wishy-washy, it depends upon how I feel. I enjoy wearing skirts and nice dresses, because I think they’re pretty and I feel good in them – I like feeling attractive, and I like being attracted to men and women that I find beautiful. I don’t enjoy wearing make up routinely, but do enjoy it on occasion because I feel like I can express myself with it. I am currently undergoing the process of growing my body hair out. I think it’s weird and sad that I have never felt comfortable enough with my body to go without some form of hair removal long enough to even know what I naturally look like, and because that is one thing I feel that I was doing out of obligation  rather than because I wanted to (I wouldn’t want to disgust anyone with my unsightly leg or underarm hair, would I?). If I can grow out my body hair and be comfortable with it, as I am with my make-up free face, then it will feel more like an option to shave it or not, not an obligation.

So, for me feminism is about being able to chose what beauty is to me, and how I want to express my own beauty and femininity, but it’s more than that. It’s also about challenging what society finds beautiful, and challenging beauty being used as a tool to control or oppress. We shouldn’t be forced or shamed into buying razors, make up and plastic surgery. We should be challenging our own ideas of beauty, what it means to us and how highly we value it. We can encourage others to challenge how highly they value beauty, and what it means to them.

What does beauty mean to you? Do you think that you are beautiful? Is it important to you? Do you feel the need to be more beautiful, and is that damaging to you? Does the message you send about beauty and what lengths you go for it harm other women and how they feel about themselves, does it perpetuate the use of beauty as a tool for sexism?

I clearly have more questions than answers, and I clearly have more reading and thinking to do. I’d love to open a discussion, and to hear some other opinions or thoughts.