November 2nd is fast approaching, and early voting is already available in a bunch of states. So I have a question for you: What’s your fucking excuse for not voting?
You know that enthusiasm gap you’ve been hearing so much about? Don’t fall into it! And if you’re in a state with an candidate on the ballot who believes that a woman who gets pregnant as the result of rape or incest should be forced to carry that pregnancy to term – I’m looking at you, Kentucky, Arizona, Colorado – well, you know what to do.
Twiddling your thumbs is not an acceptable excuse. Also unacceptable: “I’m fucking looking at paparazzi photos of Kim Kardashian’s cellulite” and “I’m getting a fucking ill-advised tattoo.”
You can find a complete list of totally unacceptable excuses for not voting, learn where your nearest polling place is, and figure out whether or not you’re even fucking registered to vote, at this totally NSFW site.