Proposing to each other

A good friend of mine recently got engaged. I was thrilled when she told me the story of how she and her honey decided it was time to take the plunge: they proposed to each other. They’d had many conversations about what marriage meant to them, and when and why they felt ready, but they still needed to find a way to make it official that felt honoring, fun, and disconnected from the crappy sexist history of marriage. So they set a date, made an awesome dinner, and formally asked one another by describing what they loved about one another and why they wanted to share their lives together. Isn’t that the coolest?

It seems like engagements are often the first time when overblown expectations, antiquated traditions, and hyper-consumerism seep into the lives of perfectly progressive couples, so it was exciting for me to hear about this new tradition starting to take root in many people’s love lives. As good as the dance moves may be, it’s not about putting “a ring on it”; it’s about coming to a mutual understanding about what commitment looks like and celebrating a hot, egalitarian love. Kudos to all the couples re-imagining engagements, weddings, marriage, partnership etc. in its many radical potential forms.

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One Comment

  1. Posted September 5, 2010 at 8:27 am | Permalink

    My fiance and I got engaged last December. It was similar to that story in that we decided we wanted our relationship to be that serious, understood our goals and what our ideas are for engagement and marriage. I mean, we had, to considering we began in a long distance relationship. We also knew that it was a proposal to each other, reciprocal, even two rings too.We are still long distance, and see each other in 5 month increments (until Nov/Dec of next year when I move), I’m in America, he’s in Australia, so discussing engagement to marriage to moving has to involve a lot of planning because of Visas and our family who had to adjust to the unconventional nature of our relationship.

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