A good friend of mine recently got engaged. I was thrilled when she told me the story of how she and her honey decided it was time to take the plunge: they proposed to each other. They’d had many conversations about what marriage meant to them, and when and why they felt ready, but they still needed to find a way to make it official that felt honoring, fun, and disconnected from the crappy sexist history of marriage. So they set a date, made an awesome dinner, and formally asked one another by describing what they loved about one another and why they wanted to share their lives together. Isn’t that the coolest?
It seems like engagements are often the first time when overblown expectations, antiquated traditions, and hyper-consumerism seep into the lives of perfectly progressive couples, so it was exciting for me to hear about this new tradition starting to take root in many people’s love lives. As good as the dance moves may be, it’s not about putting “a ring on it”; it’s about coming to a mutual understanding about what commitment looks like and celebrating a hot, egalitarian love. Kudos to all the couples re-imagining engagements, weddings, marriage, partnership etc. in its many radical potential forms.