How do you say ‘jackass’ in body language?

If this isn’t the most ridiculous, over-hyped piece of sexist schlock I’ve ever seen, I don’t know what is. Kevin Hogan, supposedly one of the country’s leading body language experts, is also one of the country’s leading jackasses.
Exhibit A:

Hogan’s diagnosis: “She is prepared to be obedient. Her hands are keeping her posture straight and completely open and her neck is completely exposed. That’s as open an invitation as she can give you.”
I didn’t realize that sitting down conveyed obedience or that I had to cover my neck up if I didn’t want it to be slobbered on by some random dude. This is going to make riding the subway a much more difficult experience. And sitting in class, and working, and going to the movies, and…
Exhibit B:

Hogan’s diagnosis: “She probably isn’t allowed to jump over the table and ride you out the door, so she is giving you all the signals possible that now is the time for you to get up and get moving.”
I don’t know what’s more disturbing here, that Hogan is suggesting that women are like dogs in heat, interested in riding their lust objects “out the door” (whatever that means), or that Hogan thinks that “all signs possible” couldn’t possibly include a woman actually, well, speaking. Ever since my mom told me “Use your words, Courtney,” I’ve made a habit of actually telling men when I’m attracted to them rather than posing in oh-so-seductive positions (like standing) and praying they’ve read Kevin Hogan’s sage advice.
Exhibit C:

Hogan’s diagnosis: “She gives full view of her chest, completely opens the door by placing her arm behind her body and handcuffing her other arm. This body is one that wants to be taken, so step up to the plate.”
I’ll let our savvy commenters deconstruct this last little gem.