Know It Alls and Culture Snobs

The other night a friend and I were discussing a certain type of music snob. These are people who think they know better than you no matter what. That any music you like and they don’t automatically invalidates your opinion. In my experience, these people are always men. Of course I also know women who fit into the category of music snob. A lot of my friends might consider me one. But I’ve never met a woman who absolutely insists that her preferences are right and yours are wrong. Nor have I ever met a woman who believed that liking a certain band or style of music that she herself didn’t like, meant you couldn’t also like music she herself enjoyed (I was once sucked into an argument with a man who refused to believe that I could like the British pop band Arctic Monkeys and also like Bob Dylan. He thought I was pretending to like Dylan in order to legitimize my opinion – as if my opinion needed to be legitimized). Over and over again, the message comes across that women’s opinions are ill-informed, valueless, silly, or just not as important as a man’s. 

And of course, this happens in all areas of culture (and all areas generally) as I was reminded this morning while listening to a Fresh Air interview online. Terry Gross was interviewing an actor about his role on a new midseason TV show. As I was scrolling through the comments section I noticed a man (NRP prints real names along with comments) who disagreed with Terry’s choice of interview subject. He didn’t think this actor or the TV show he’s on, belonged on Fresh Air, and threw out a few TV shows, movies, and cultural figures that he thought were worthy of attention. He thought Terry focused too much on TV to begin with, and although he complimented her as an interviewer, he immediately ruined it by saying she should be "indulged" occasionally and allowed to discuss some of her favorite things. Just, you know, not too often. 

I was infuriated by the word indulge. One indulges a child. Terry Gross is a Peabody Award winning journalist, and her opinions, whether you agree with them or not, are not something to be indulged.


It’s an infantilizing word, and I have to wonder if he would have used this phrasing in reference to a male interviewer. Then there’s the fact that this man felt that his likes and interests were worthy of attention, whereas Terry’s choices were somehow lesser. She enjoyed something he thought was low brow, and he felt the need to point out the error of her ways. Nevermind that Fresh Air is her radio show, and the point is that she should be interviewing people she finds interesting or noteworthy.

There is satisfaction in feeling the superiority of your own tastes – hey, we all get like that from time to time. But there is a difference between feeling strongly about your preferences, and feeling that someone else is wrong for having different ones. While this man’s comments were more subtly sexist than outright rude, they still carried a hint of "this thing you like is stupid and you’re stupid for liking it." I’m all for debate and intelligent criticism, but this man didn’t offer either, nor did he consider that the interests of a woman as smart and accomplished as Terry Gross might have some merit. He simply felt that his interests were more worthy, and had no problem being dismissive of her.

This is a problem women run across far too often. I’m pretty tired of being made to feel like my preferences for books, music, movies – whatever, are inherently less valuable just because I happen to be a woman. It comes down to a basic inequality. When women’s opinions about cultural items are given the same weight as a man’s, thats when I’ll know we’re making real progress.

Disclaimer: This post was written by a Feministing Community user and does not necessarily reflect the views of any Feministing columnist, editor, or executive director.

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