First Time Feminist in a Public Forum

I’ve been a self-proclaimed feminist for a while. For an initial few years, I was a relatively ignorant feminist, with only my own experiences informing me. I read Jessica’s book, Full-Frontal Feminism, and became slightly more aware. I realized that even my own experiences were to some extent shoved under this “context” society provides, where so many things are accepted, that shouldn’t be. I had only an inkling of the injustice. It was once I really started to scrutinize the world around me, that I began to see the vast disparities emerge. When I was a junior in high school i read a note by another self-proclaimed feminist, decrying women who partake in hook-up culture, and more or less HATING on women, for their contributions to misogyny, which to her seemed mostly a product of their sexual expression. I contended her assessment, I told her that despising the only people who have an intimate enough knowledge with misogyny, the only people who will really have the drive, in great numbers to affect change, was not only destructive, but misguided.

I let her know that a woman’s benign social actions should never exclude her from her humanity.

But that was all in a relatively private setting, where no one would openly scrutinize me, where they would need to put a great deal of effort into following the argument and making a judgement.

But yesterday, a facebook status prompted me to step further out of my feminist closet. It was relatively un-offensive at face-value, until, the more I thought about it, the more I realized it was like every other tiny bit of discrimination that pervades our society. And I just couldn’t let it slide. Ignoring the fact that i barely knew the person who posted the comment, and in spite of a barrage of yeahs and so trues and right ons, I dug in.

Here is the offending status “dear women: if you are going to act
like you are different from men and have the right to be lazy in a
relationship because you’re a woman and men are supposed to make the
first move etc etc because that’s just “how it is” then please realize
that your place is in the kitchen”

Maybe I am just an oversensitive bitch, and maybe I didn’t choose the
most contentious statement to really “come out” on, but I wanted
everyone associated with me to know how I felt, regardless of the
superfluity or meaninglessness of the statement above. 

Here is my all too short response

I think the most egalitarian attitude one can have is to NEVER ever
say what one gender or another “SHOULD” do. that goes for guys and
girls. No one “SHOULD” do anything, as an action mandated by society as
an obligation of their gender, or as an obligation toward their gender’s
status as HUMAN in society. Society carves out roles for men and women,
its up to individuals to decide whether or not to place themselves
neatly in these holes. An indivudual’s preorgative is an individual’s
prerogative. If its not impeding someone elses rights, its fine and
dandy. I don’t ever ever EVER think that basic human dignity, being
treated as an important contributor to society, and a human being,
worthy of the natural rights bestowed on them should be contingent on
anything. NOTHING. A human being’s rights are not CONTINGENT on their
acceptance or rejection of social norms. This is a dangerous attitude to
have. Human rights are HUMAN rights, not rights given to those who
behave in a way that elicits the “reward” of those rights. The only
exception to this is humans who violate the rights of other humans in a
heinous , violent or otherwise self-evidently unacceptable way. And by
that I clearly mean, when one decides to encroach upon another’s rights,
they are abdicating their own entitlement to their rights. What is
being said here is essentially that women can be treated with equality,
provided they behave in THIS specific way.

I find it disheartening to see how many people will gladly jump onto
this rhetorical bandwagon. Are there really so many people who feel that
a persons’ benign movements in society should determine their
entitlement to basic human dignities? Why is it that no matter the
circumstances, a woman’s being treated as something more than a
dishwasher must be contingent upon the following of arbitrary rules set
forth by society? Certainly, your statement is asking for the breaching
of traditional gender roles, but how is it any different? you’re simply
rewiring the rules which a person must adhere to, in order to be treated
with respect. 

The other thing that I find disheartening is the
implicit polarization of characteristics by gender. Not only are you
implying that ALL women fail to take initiatives in relationships, but
you are simultaneously implying that ALL men do. This is simply not the
case, and a further reinforcement of quite frankly, stupid gender roles
which ought to be questioned…But NOT questioned under the pretext that
following these roles strips a person of their humanity.