Control A Man, ’cause you’re annoying! Control a woman, ’cause that’s what dudes do!

The other day my friend and I were in a favorite toy store – the kind that has lots of kid toys, kites, puzzles, and also funny adult gifts.  We were not particularly impressed by one pair of gifts: a “Control A Man” remote control and a “Control a Woman” remote control.  

Now, not only is it very creepy and also downright scary/offensive to think that relationships are about “controlling” the other person, but something we noticed about the buttons on the two gifts were that BOTH were offensive to WOMEN.  It definitely wasn’t “Ah we make these two products to equally poke fun at both sexes, so it’s all fair.”  No, men are completely off the hook here.  (Oh, and OF COURSE this is totally heteronormative too.)

Though my cell phone pic didn’t turn out well, I found images at ThinkGeek (which makes me sad because I love that website, but now they sell this crap, boo).

The “Control a Man” remote:

Text of the buttons on the remote:

Mute
Ego Off (instead of Power Off)
Talk about: feelings, shopping, shoes
Stop: snoring, farting, belching
Flowers
Chocolate
Massage
Say No
Propose (big button in the middle)
Say Yes
Tell Truth
A picture of a toilet set being closed
Listen
Get Hint
Multitask
Orgasm + or –

Now for the Control a Woman…

The buttons are:

Mute
PMS OFf (instead of Power Off)
Give me: beer, sex, food
Stop: nagging, moaning, whining
Forgive
Forget
Move On
Say No
Remove Clothes (big button in center)
Say Yes
Cook
Clean
Leave
Calm Down (pause button)
Hurry up (fast forward button)
Breasts + or –

Both on the package say “Make him/her do what you want.”

I know these are just jokes, but it’s still interesting to analyze WHY this is the joke, why this is the generally accepted humor.  But maybe even more interesting are the things that are part of the “joke” that are actually, like, good things… what I mean is, the woman’s remote has “tell truth” and “listen” buttons.  Um… maybe I’m just a crazy woman who just nags her boyfriend all the time but… aren’t those good things in relationships?  Is it really THAT funny of a joke to say “Ugh, women, they have feelings, that’s so freaking stupid and feminine.”  Okay, yes I know that is a very prevalent joke, but it still bugs me every time.

Maybe this post wasn’t even worth writing.  This stuff is everywhere.  Why bother pointing it out?  All you readers already know it’s there.  Why bother talking about the long list of things about it that offends me?  All you readers know what’s wrong, and have written about it before, and will write about it again.  So what am I supposed to do when I see crap like this?