Other people’s opinions policing my body and my rights.

Today was quite possibly on par with what a day in hell might be like.  And here I sit, frustrated and annoyed, coping with the events of today and why, oh why, I’m being denied the basic right to govern my own body.

Like most of you out there today, I’m on birth control.  Why?  Because I don’t want to get pregnant (stating the obvious…I know).  But unlike some of you, my reasons for not wanting to get pregnant are different from the norm.  Sure, I’m 25, I have half my life to live, I like going and partying and being a social butterfly.  I work a job that pays the bills…barely, and I have two lovely cats that depend on me for survival.  I plan on going back to school full-time, I plan on living my life to the fullest at this young age so as not to miss out on anything…but most of all…the idea of birth makes me physicall ill.

When I saw "the Miracle of Life" video at the ripe age of 15 in biology class…that moment they show the lady giving birth…I had to physically leave the classroom because I became severly nauseous.  Whenever I hear the sounds of a woman in agony during childbirth, same reaction.  The thought of a baby pushing its way to the outside world….same reaction.  I think pregnancy is a beautiful thing…don’t get me wrong.  It’s the birthing part itself that doesn’t do it for me, plus some of the lovely after effects from giving birth.  Basically, I made up my mind years ago that I don’t want to give birth.  If I choose to have kids, I plan to adopt.  I have 3 adopted cousins, and I think its a beautiful thing taking someone who needs a home into your arms and your life.  That is what I plan on doing.

So why is it so hard to get a doctor to tie my tubes?  Well for starters there’s the age thing.  Clearly at 25 I haven’t given a thought to the more major life events (like childbirth) because I’m too busy being young and irresponsible. Right?  Wrong.  I’ve thought about my future, what I’d like my life to become, I’ve laid out an eternally shifting map for myself.  It’s no different than those out there who planned their perfect ideal wedding at the young age of 5.  For me, it’s not the normal society sanctioned idea of the hetero lifestyle.  I don’t know if I ever will marry, I don’t revolve my life around it, but I do know if I chose to marry someone I’m not having a big, fancy, "adding onto my debt for the day thats supposed to be the best day of my life" wedding.  And the same goes for having children.  I’d love to be a mom someday, but I’d rather skip the blood, placenta, and pain part of it.

Secondly, if…and this is a huge IF…I were to change my mind someday, then I’d rather deal with it then.  I choose to live day by day, and I never regret my choices, no matter how stupid or bad they have been or will be.  I’m so tired of hearing someone else’s opinion of "you’ll change your  mind" thrown at me.  I haven’t changed my mind in the span of 10 years, I doubt I’ll change my mind in another decade (I realize I’m a very stubborn person, so when I make up my mind it rarely…if at all, changes).  But again, let that be on me.  Let those decisions and their weight be on my shoulders.  This is how you learn and grow as a person.

I’ve done the pill, nuvaring, Depo, the patch…and finally today I had an IUD put in.  I’ve had various issues with those mentioned, ranging from "I suck at remembering to take pills" to "For one week I’m a raging bitch and then another week I’m so depressed I feel suicidal".  And let me tell you the process of getting the IUD in was awful.  It took my doctor 4 tries to get it and then I had to go have an ultrasound (both stomach AND vaginal) to make sure it was in properly.  I hope this method is the right fit, because I don’t know what else I can do to ensure that I don’t get pregnant (I don’t trust condoms very much) if I can’t get my tubes tied.  Clearly abstinence is out, as I enjoy sex very much and have it as much as possible. Plus, I view my efforts as trying to avoid being put in the situation of "to get an abortion or not".  I’m trying to make that option completely unavailable to myself (but let me be clear, I would)…which I feel is smart on my half.

Is there anyone out there that feels the same?  Like their opinion is completely null and void based on their age, or the doctor’s personal opinions?

Disclaimer: This post was written by a Feministing Community user and does not necessarily reflect the views of any Feministing columnist, editor, or executive director.

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It’s Do or Die Time on Trumpcare – Literally

The Senate will vote to strip health care from millions in about 48 hours. This is not a drill.

Yesterday, Senate Republicans voted to proceed to debate on their taxcuts-for-billionaires “healthcare” bill. Does that mean they’ll release a bill on which to have public hearings and town halls? Nope. In Senate parliamentary language, that means they’ve started the process to vote on the bill this week.

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The Senate will vote to strip health care from millions in about 48 hours. This is not a drill.

Yesterday, Senate Republicans voted to proceed to debate on their Read More

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According to a stunning estimate from the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities, the GOP “health care bill” gives America’s 400 wealthiest households alone a $33 billion tax break – ...