This weekly Saturday column “Ask Professor Foxy” will regularly contain sexually explicit material. This material is likely not safe for work viewing. The title of the column will include the major topic of the post, so please read the topic when deciding whether or not to read the entire column.
Dear Professor Foxy,
I am 21 years old and have only ever had sex in the missionary position. I am wonderfully curvy (most notably my thighs and butt) and every time I have tried a different position it has not worked out very well. Last night me and my longterm boyfriend were in the shower and we tried it standing up with me facing him, then from behind, neither worked. We have tried it with me on top (which I’ve heard is what feels the best for the woman) and it didn’t work out either. I am sexually satisfied with my man-on-top option but I really like variety in my life. My question is two-fold: why isn’t this working, is it my weight or my execution? And are there any other positions I can try?
Thank you for your help,
Dear Miss Ionary -
Professor Foxy certainly understands having sex when one has wonderful curves, especially in one’s thighs and butt, as well as the need for variety. First, no one position feels best some people enjoy being on top, others enjoy being on their back. You enjoy your man-on-top option and it may very well be the position for you.
I would not take your sex in the shower attempt to be representative. Sex in the shower is tricky to say the least. The height match has to be just right, there is the fear of falling, and lubricant (natural and artificial) gets washed away pretty easily.
What I would suggest is using props and different surfaces to manipulate how you hold your body. Some ideas:
- you on a table or desk that allows him to stand with your legs wrapped around or spread in front of him
- you on top of him with your back facing him
- him entering from behind using pillows to prop you up and angle yourself (they also sell toys for this). The Smitten Kitten has a great collection.
Oddly enough, wilkipedia also has a fairly extensive list.
Angles are also important. Talk each other through new positions by giving directions, such as “I need you to tilt your back a little more.” or “can you move your gorgeous ass up two inches?”
I understand your desire for diversity and positions are only one way to have variety. There is role-playing, hours of oral, dirty talk, etc. The list is never ending. You and he seem to have good communication and a willingness to try new things: two important factors in having great sex. Keep working your angles and your imagination.
If you have a question for Professor Foxy, send it to ProfessorFoxyATfeministingDOTcom.