I can’t be the only person feeling this way

I fully admit I don’t listen to much music.  My 1st generation 1g iPod nano broke sometime this summer and I haven’t bothered to try to find the money to get another one yet.  My computer has been broken for a few months (I am using a computer lab computer right now) so I don’t have any of my music here, either.  But even when I did have those things I didn’t listen to much music.  It was mainly feminist/queer folksy or rock with some riot grrrl thrown in there.  Popular music is not even on my radar.  I go to a tiny little hippie college where I’m only in a car once a week anyway, so I don’t even really listen to the radio.  We don’t have TVs in residences so I don’t ever flip on MTV.  Sometimes it feels isolating, but it’s also nice at times.

I also don’t go to parties very often.  Either I don’t know of their existence or I have no interest in going.  Last Friday, however, the LGBT group on our campus threw a dance and, since I’m the president and all, I had to be there.  Even while we were setting up somebody put on some music and I was really surprised to hear misogynistic music.  I brought it up then and there.  I asked why we were listening to music that promoted putting women at a lower place than men and only was talking about the physical attractiveness, or lack thereof, of women.  The response was that I was being “too sensitive” or “stupid” and that “nobody would come” if that kind of music wasn’t being played.

This dance was supposed to be a safe, inclusive space.  And it definitely wasn’t for me.

On Saturday night all of the resident advisors went to another town to go roller skating together.  The drive was a little over an hour long and we were split up into a few cars.  One of my really good friends was playing DJ in the front seat and I was just really surprised at the music she was putting on.  This woman is somebody who is all about gender studies, she considers herself a feminist, and yet she was repeatedly putting on music that was degrading to women and singing along to it.

Maybe I am being “that feminist” but it was really hard for me to sit there and bite my tongue while people around me sang songs that I disagreed with in so many ways.

And I really don’t know what to say or do when this comes up again.  Suggestions?