She’s got style, she’s got grace, she always knows her place.

So true….ladies.
You know an article is going to be blogging gold when it starts off like this:

As our society abandons the conservative values that make women into ladies, women with grace and dignity have become an endangered species–especially on today’s college campuses. The kind of woman who inspired Tom Jones’ song “She’s a Lady” has become an antiquated figure from America’s past.

Oh yes, Eva Lorraine Molina at Townhall wants us to know that she’s no liberal whorebag – and she wishes conservative women would stop acting like us sex-crazed feminists, too!

The feminist movement’s war on conservatism in America has killed chivalry and trained too many women to think and act like men. As a result, many young conservative women do not know what it means to be a lady.

But don’t worry, Molina is here to tell us exactly what being a “lady” entails.

A lady does not tell dirty jokes along with men and she does not tolerate men telling dirty jokes in her presence. She does not swear, and she is not considered “one of the guys.” In spite of new fashion trends, a lady always dresses appropriately, leaving a lot to the imagination. When at a social gathering, a lady does not do things she will regret the next day. Above all, a lady is well-mannered, dignified, gracious, and kind.

Sounds fun. But what’s particularly telling about Molina’s idealized notion of being a “lady” is that it’s directly related to whether or not men will find you marriageable – since getting hitched is the ultimate goal of all ladies, of course.

I have heard many of my male peers place women into three categories: “the ones to mess around with, the ones to date, and the ones to marry.” Though this is a rather crude way of categorizing women, it shows that men do recognize and value the qualities that make a woman a lady.

No, it shows that your guy friends are assholes. Big ones.

Ladies are the kind of women that men can take home to Mom and Dad and that most men want to marry. Being considered “marriage material” is an indicator that a woman is to be respected; most men who deem a woman as such treat her with the utmost respect. For men, ladies are at the top of the female totem pole, and conservative women need to take pride in the fact that they are worthy of time, love, and commitment.

Article-skewering aside, this just made me sad. Too many women think that their worth is completely based on what guys feel about them – whether or not they’re considered fuckable, dateable, marriageable, etc, makes a lot of women feel valuable. It’s all bullshit. And while I feel compassion for Molina – because it can’t be fun to think of yourself that way – it irritates me to no end when women perpetuate this crap. Though I suppose I shouldn’t be shocked, considering Molina is an intern with the anti-feminist, pro-hope chest, anti-rectum-misuse (seriously) Clare Boothe Luce Policy Institute.
So I think I’ll continue to curse, tell dirty jokes, try things that I may regret and keep company with women who do the same. Because at the end of the day, me and my ladies know that all people are deserving of respect – not just the ones who fall in line with antiquated sexist stereotypes.

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68 Comments

  1. VickyinSeattle
    Posted August 31, 2009 at 4:57 pm | Permalink

    LOL, I know you didn’t mean it to be funny, but the mental image of someone picking a fight with a nun made me laugh. Ah, yes, drunken brawling–one definitely regrets that the next day!
    The reason my mind jumped to date rape is that conservatives 1) frequently denigrate date rape as “not real” rape; and 2) blame women for putting themselves in the situation to “get raped” by drinking too much, hanging out with the wrong crowd, etc.
    You’re right–one can regret a ton of things (making a faux pas, offending someone, etc) at a social gathering, but especially given the sex-focused nature of the article, I think it’s a veiled reference to date rape.

  2. allieb87
    Posted August 31, 2009 at 5:13 pm | Permalink

    I see where you’re coming from VickyinSeattle. Molina’s argument is obviously pretty heavily centered upon sexual choices which is disgusting. However, I want to give her the benefit of the doubt on that one point. Since she says telling dirty jokes is un-ladylike I’m pretty sure she considers drinking to be un-ladylike as well. Conservatives do make a habit of victim blaming to be sure. But I think that going to the most extreme end of an argument without considering that she could have meant something else isn’t really conducive to dialogue. I live in a conservative area and usually what I assume my conservative peers believe is worse than what they actually believe so I try to temper my reactions to stuff like this.
    And the nun thing was meant to be a little funny… even though I was terribly embarrassed.

  3. borrow_tunnel
    Posted August 31, 2009 at 6:06 pm | Permalink

    Love Demetri. Must see Taking Woodstock. Also, you should check out his bit about date rapists. Funny.

  4. Citizen Lane
    Posted August 31, 2009 at 6:07 pm | Permalink

    I’d have never even talked to my wife if she were one of these wilting violets. I prefer that she will drink, curse and cheer the Longhorns next to me at the bar on gameday. She is one of the “guys” because I don’t gender segregate my friends.

  5. jacqueline.allain
    Posted August 31, 2009 at 6:36 pm | Permalink

    Haha, I was thinking of that quote too. I love her!

  6. jacqueline.allain
    Posted August 31, 2009 at 6:37 pm | Permalink

    Haha, I was thinking of that quote too. I love her!

  7. jacqueline.allain
    Posted August 31, 2009 at 6:37 pm | Permalink

    Haha, I was thinking of that quote too. I love her!

  8. Tracey T
    Posted August 31, 2009 at 7:04 pm | Permalink

    So true, people defiantly need to decide what they want in a relationship and I didn’t mean to diss those who do enjoy shows of chivalry or any other behaviors considered traditional. What I get enraged about are people like this who, as you said, seem to advocate the idea that any women who do not fit the traditional construction of the term lady are not worthy of respect.
    I also get weirded out when in situations that are hard to get out of or speak out in for me (like getting a hair cut or even worst braids b/c they take hours) and someone starts waxing on about how I am suppose to want that or act this way,blah blah blah. Unfortunately, I am quite too shy too say anything and generally hate confrontation (esp. w/ppl wielding razors over my head).

  9. abyss2hope
    Posted August 31, 2009 at 7:04 pm | Permalink

    Molina’s statement:
    Being considered “marriage material” is an indicator that a woman is to be respected
    unfortunately supports very dangerous rationalizations about what a man can do when a woman is NOT to be respected. If certain behavior is wrong when done to a lady it is wrong when done to any woman.

  10. Marj
    Posted August 31, 2009 at 8:30 pm | Permalink

    Well, I consider how it’s used in this article to be meant as an insult. It makes it sound like us females who have male friends are abandoning our femininity in favour of being more masculine, or that women can’t/shouldn’t be able to be comfortable around men. Hanging around guys doesn’t make me less of a woman anymore than hanging with a lesbian would make me less straight.
    And no worries, I knew you weren’t responding to me specifically :)

  11. jellyleelips
    Posted September 1, 2009 at 8:49 am | Permalink

    “the ones to mess around with, the ones to date, and the ones to marry.”
    Interestingly, I’m pretty sure my boyfriend considers me a combination of all three. But then again, conservatives like Molina don’t believe it’s possible for a woman to be a multi-faceted individual with complex needs, wants, and desires. You know, like a man.

  12. Ellen Marie-Frances
    Posted September 1, 2009 at 1:32 pm | Permalink

    I LOVE SARAH HASKINS!!!

  13. LoveKrystal
    Posted September 1, 2009 at 1:39 pm | Permalink

    Ha well my boyfriend must not have gotten the memo about only bringing ladies home to meet the parents. I curse a lot and tell dirty jokes and HAVE once or twice been considered one of the guys.
    I don’t like sitting quietly with my hands in my lap.

  14. holmes
    Posted September 1, 2009 at 2:11 pm | Permalink

    this is really a stretch. DeafBrownTrash did not say she was the ONLY kind of real woman. I took it to mean that she’s a real woman, too – like there are ALL kinds of real women.

  15. katemoore
    Posted September 1, 2009 at 3:36 pm | Permalink

    Oh, come on. That’s just ridiculous. Consider the following statement:
    “I’m proud that I don’t pay attention to ads. I’m a REAL consumer.”
    Now, which of the following is the most logical, likely way to continue the thought:
    “…unlike all those other fake consumers.”
    Or:
    “…but consumers who don’t are OK too.”

  16. Hypatia
    Posted September 1, 2009 at 5:21 pm | Permalink

    At the university where I intern at, there is a sign in the women’s bathroom that says, word for word:
    “THIS IS A LADIES’ ROOM! So please behave like a lady and implement the following into your bathroom routine:
    -no spitting on the floor
    -wash your hands after using the restroom (with soap!!!)

    Sheesh. I wonder what it says in the men’s restroom–this is a men’s room, behave like a man?!! Or worse–is there even a sign like this in there at all…

  17. MLF
    Posted September 2, 2009 at 11:44 am | Permalink

    Yeah – MOST of the guys I know (whether friends or not) have some sort of attitude like that – even if they don’t come out and say it exactly like that… I mean – I’ve never heard guys break it down like that out loud but by their general atittudes when they deal with women who present themselves in certain ways… Like I’ve heard certain guys say things like, “those typse of girls are only good for fucking.” – which basically is saying the same thing, but not going into as much detail.

  18. MLF
    Posted September 2, 2009 at 12:39 pm | Permalink

    haha, behave like a man – “sling your shit around the bathroom and piss on the floor!” (that’s sarcasm)
    The funny thing is – I remember in highschool, some girl (never found out who) would smear her poop all over the walls… I don’t think that ever happened in the mens’ room.

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