Stolkholm game creator to do a “college outreach program”

Looks like we might have a new brand of MRA on our hands! Remember the “Stockholm: An Exploration of True Love” game that Amazon was selling which allowed users to “convince” a young woman to fall in love with them by sexually assaulting, gassing and psychologically abusing them? Well, it seems that its creator is a wee ticked about being banned from Amazon and others is conducting a college outreach program designed to enlighten college students with “types of love and relationships hidden and ignored by a culture increasingly dominated by female values.”
Stanton Audemars says during his college tours, he’ll disseminate the game to make sure “that every single college student of appropriate age has access to this simulation,” seeming to push an anti-women and anti-feminist message cloaked in BDSM rights language:

“And young men and women have the right to recognize that true love does not necessarily involve the kind of mental castration and excessive domestication that it has become associated with . . . The point of ‘Stockholm’ is not that kidnapping is the path to true love. The point is that the sugar coated nonsense that TV and movies are forcing down our throat is not the only true path. It is a message that college men and women need to hear. Most don’t realize that they have a choice in how they approach love and relationships, that choice in relationships does not just mean ‘gay or straight’. It also can be polygamistic, dominant, submissive, relaxed, nice, cruel, possessive, etc. The types of love that women have tried to criminalize are no less valid than the types of love that seem to require that men become weak, doting, servile eunuchs.”

The thing is, this game is not about choice; it’s about kidnapping, sexual assault and nonconsent. What a hoot it would be if we ran into this guy while doing our college tour come fall.

Join the Conversation

  • Alessa

    What an idiot. His definition of love is one of the most warped I have ever heard of.
    To me, love is constantly choosing the best for your partner, even if it hurts you but you know it will benefit them.
    Abuse is hurting your partner to make you feel good. That is the opposite of love.
    I wonder if he’s married. What a joke.

  • proudfeminist

    Well I must admit I did not play the game true love myself.

  • rustyspoons

    I wonder if he has some kind of police reports filed against him in his own past for stalking, abuse, harassment, etc? And now he’s taking it out on the “meeeeeennnn ol’ feminists (or women in general) who actually object to him treating them like shit?” I’m sure a little dirt digging into this fuckhead’s past would reveal a pile of old manure.

  • rustyspoons

    I totally want to see guy on guy action. But I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised this Stanton idiot has no clue about what women may or may not actually be into. I bet he even yells at his right palm to shut up and not talk.

  • Jeffrey

    I meant there’s no kind of venue like this for S+Mers.
    Certainly, there could be spokespersons for it.

  • rustyspoons

    Of course you don’t get it Nomad, you’re the same one in that other post about “forgiving rapists” who was whining about how we shouldn’t “dehumanize them”.

  • rustyspoons

    P.S. – I’ve seen 4chan, I just haven’t seen /b/tards touring college campuses trying to convince people that rape and abuse are just alternative expressions of love or whatever snake oil this sick fuck is selling.

  • Eliza-Rose

    Just wanted to add my voice here…I would love to see my boyfriend with another guy. And he couldn’t care less about seeing me with another woman (possibly cause he’s already seen it; before we were together, I was with a woman).
    Obviously he’s a eunuch…and I’m a man. Or something.

  • Ruby

    Yeah, I hate that too. When people so clearly don’t understand what freedom of speech is. It’s as if they’re saying, everyone should be allowed to say whatever they want, as long as they’re not criticizing ME.

  • allegra

    When one sees those brilliant keywords “eunuch” and “castration” (which the male author always puts so much thought into), there’s almost invariably a flaming insecure misogynist douche behind them.
    This is fundamentally fucked on so many levels. How do these fuck-ups come to have such enormous egos that they think their “ideas about love” actually warrant “college outreach”? What a fucking joke.
    I’m sure (I hope!) most colleges will see this bullshit for what it is. I can’t imagine any women’s centers or decent university administrators would allow this hate-parade to go on anywhere NEAR their campus.

  • allegra

    Um, I wouldn’t say BDSM is the “real victim here.” Surely you haven’t forgotten that stalking, rape, and domestic violence are pretty much rampant in this country – and have real human victims who are overwhelmingly women.
    But it’s true that the other crap thing about this is that the REAL, useful, honest discussion of BDSM is invariably going to get lost in this asshole’s purposely excessive woman-hating rhetoric. We NEED more open honest discussion of BDSM, but people like this jerk just keep contributing to the mainstream fear of it, continually forcing it to the fringe. Because supposedly us BDSM weirdos do shit like “gas” each other in gas chambers.

  • allegra

    I don’t think it’s just “nowadays.” _Gone With the Wind_ is like a century old. These types of borderline or outright abusive relationships have been depicted in literary plotlines for eons, e.g., the coy woman who secretly wants to be dominated and ravished (i.e., raped). These are just more examples of the very *staying power* of misogyny in our culture – and a testament to how poorly we educate people on relationship boundaries and HEALTHY relationships.
    I was just discussing with a coworker how amazing it would be if all high schoolers were required to take a semester-long class on healthy relationships, including romantic relationships, to teach and reinforce relationship boundaries. Such a class could probably do everything from reduce homophobia to help reduce domestic violence and rape (I can just hear the right-wing bitching and whining now – they essentially want public schools to pretend like homosexuality doesn’t exist and pretend like teens don’t have sexual or even romantic relationships).
    Women, I think, learn that it’s normal for them to put up with so much more shit from men than they ever should because “that’s just the way men are – controlling and possessive and mean and rough”. Women never learn what constitutes *ABUSE* – emotional and verbal abuse are still considered “lesser” on the hierarchy. Things like verbal abuse are almost normalized for men – at least two of my other female coworkers in the past month have complained to me about having their opinions called “stupid” and put down by their boyfriends, but eventually dismissed it as “not a big deal.” I don’t know how to convince women that it is a big deal. It’s a very big deal – it’s NOT how a healthy relationship works.

  • NomadSpirit

    Good memory! Although I didn’t use the phrase “forgiving rapists.” Not to be nitpicky–I understand that’s the message you took away. It just seems like when you use quote marks like you just did people might think you are quoting me directly, which you aren’t.

  • eric_f

    You might be surprised to find out that the construction of female sexuality as inherently passive and harmless is as much a feminist issue as the construction of male sexuality as inherently predatory.
    I hope you’re right, but I haven’t seen that yet. I’ll keep my eyes open. I want to believe.

  • AwakenedDesires

    I, for one, happen to love Gone With the Wind due to its portrayal of a strong, independent woman who makes her own way in the world and doesn’t give into society’s oppressive notions of what a woman should be like. It is not a perfect feminist story, but it shouldn’t be written off as wholly negative.

  • Meep

    I hope you do run into him on your college tour, assuming he makes good on his threat, and I hope you serve him his ass on a silver platter.
    (Fact: I originally typed “I hope you do run over him on your college tour.” Oops.)

  • Meep

    Whoops, to clarify: it was a typo. (I just wanted to set that straight, juuuuust in case.)

  • cand86

    “Women: How often do you see a guy that is just irritating, and you just want to have sex with him to put him in his place? He’s not super attractive or anything, he’s just annoying. And because he is annoying you just want to do sexual things to him. Not violent rape or anything, just sex.”
    I don’t know what it means about me . . . but I do have fantasies like that. Or is it rape (not “just sex”) if I want to put my fingers in an annoying guy’s a*s sometimes to “put him in his place”?
    A bit embarrassing to admit, but I just wanted to throw that out there. Maybe the problem lies with our culture- that men are EXPECTED to have these desires, and because we think no woman could possibly ever want that, not a single chick speaks up.

  • Beatrice

    For serious. As a feminist sub, I’m really disturbed by this dude talking in terms of dominance and submission. Dominance and submission are a-okay with mutual consent. They are not things you get to impose on an unwilling victim.

  • Beatrice

    He’s probably some asshole who hangs out on CollarMe telling women he is going to make them his “no limits slave,” and would get his ass removed from an actual BDSM event for bad behavior in about twenty seconds flat.

  • hellotwin

    I wrote a community post about unhealthy/healthy relationships and how to educate others about what’s healthy and unhealthy.
    http://community.feministing.com/2009/06/consent-and-ignoring-no.html

  • Sehnsucht

    You are not the only female who has had these thoughts. I was on a BDSM forum a couple years ago (for the life of me, I can’t find it anymore; I think it died) And the question of, I think they worded it as “reverse rape fantasies” came up. A bunch of women said that sometimes they get so angry at some men that they wished they could do everything to them from tying them down and forcing them to orgasm to violently raping, beating or even murdering them (in some pretty weird sexual ways).

  • Sehnsucht

    I would be all for supporting this guy if his message was, “It’s just a game; freedom of expression; it’s not gonna make anyone a rapist, etc,” just like I’ve supported games depicting violence and sexuality in the past. But, no. His message is, “I want everyone to play this game in the hope that they will adopt my twisted and violent definition of ‘love’.” He specifically states that the whole thing is basically a big “fuck you” to the feminist man-haters who want to take away his right to be a manly-man domineering asshole.
    Good job, guy. You could have come up with a better, less controversial argument for why the game shouldn’t be banned, but instead you chose to go with honesty and show us what was really in your heart. Thanks for that. Now we know who to avoid.

  • bifemmefatale

    There are passionate bloggers for the BDSM community. lee Harrington is one and Mistress Matisse is another, just for starters.

  • Sally W

    Reading the description of this game made my head hurt so much. Both the premise and the writing style is so nauseating, condescending, and masturbatory that I literally felt ill.
    How can this compare itself to Lolita? Can anything ever be so self-indulgent? Putting it through a veil of going against the status quo when really it adheres to the time-honored theme of male domination in a heterosexist and sexist world? It’s nothing new, it confirms stereotypes, and it tries to present itself as groundbreaking–that is truly barf-inducing.

  • Meep

    That is a huge pet peeve of mine: when people set themselves as oh-so-rebellious when all they’re doing is buying into the same ol’ BS.

  • Ori

    Audemars has deep-seated hatred of women, evident not only in this nauseating, pornographic video game, but in his hostility toward supposed “female values” that reject violence against women. This guy needs mental help. NOW.

  • Beatrice

    Ugh. Shit like this cannot be compared to Lolita, because the portrayal of Humbert Humbert in Lolita is critical, damn it. Lolita is not a love story. It’s a story about how a man convinces himself that it’s okay to ruin a girl’s life because he wants her.

  • itrytobefair

    yeah, it’s definitely okay to know full well what you’re doing is wrong and still do it. are you getting my sarcasm? i’m not sure your argument of the hitman v. rapist makes any sense at all. i don’t particularly want anyone playing video games where it’s okay to be a rapist, a hitman, a murderer, a thief, or even just a mean person. and while we’re at it, i think shows like Gossip Girl are evil. it’s always nice to have a laugh/get off at someone else’s expense, but when did it become right?

  • quantummechanik

    Well, Crap.
    There’s a game out there called “Braid”. Braid is an extremely surrealistic take on the nature of forgiveness, Mario brothers, love and time. It’s…very odd.
    I’d be more okay with this game if it was just very, very odd, like SCMRPG or something. When the director started in with the values things, though.
    Crap.

  • itrytobefair

    here’s this idiot’s blog…
    http://stantonaudemars.blogspot.com/